Ryo Genesis Evangelion 1.0: You Are (Not) A Good Artist

Hey! Cala again. I come bearing more Mystery Guest Snark from a friend of mine. Not Alethea this time. No, this is my friend Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way. 

Like me, she's seen far too much of Ryuu's bullshit for her to take this lying down. So she asked if she could do some guest posts on some of his awful art. As I love giving my friends a platform to air their views on Ryuu (we actually originally began talking because of his crap) so he realizes this isn't just us, I asked around, no one I asked had an issue with it and so here we are. As such, I'm gonna go swimming again and let Enoby take it from here...

 

Hello everyone. I’ve been following this blog for quite some time, and having had my own personal experiences with Mr. Ryo, I’d like to make a few contributions myself. As it’d be a stupid idea to give my real identity away, my pseudonym for this blog is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way (But sometimes my friends call me Enoby Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way or, for short, Enby Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way.) For my first post, I’d like to introduce you to a little girl known to the Anime community as Rei Ayanami.

(From what is possibly the most fucked up anime ever made.)

I’m not going to tell you Rei’s story. Why? Because I don’t know it. I don’t think anyone knows it. It keeps changing between the mangas, the anime series and the changes between the old and new movies fueled by death threats to the original creators because people were angry that the series ended with everyone turning into “orange juice.”

Like I said. Fucked up.

All I know is she’s quiet, she slaps Shinji in the face at some point, she never smiles (except those times she does smile) and there’s apparently a bunch of clones of her floating in a tank somewhere in the underground Nerv laboratories.

(They actually look super happier than the originals, which is funny since minutes later someone pushes a button and they’re all destroyed. Lol)

Oh, and at some point she gets her period, which is somehow very important.

(that was the face I made too… )

Now you’re all probably asking: What the hell does that have anything to do with Ryo? Well, let me now introduce you to his character, Crosshair.

(Hey, she looks kinda familiar…)

So this is Crosshair, who in this picture is, well…. A blatant rip off of Rei. The suit is almost exactly the same, the hair is exactly the same…. Yeah. Need I say more?

“But Enoby Dark’ness Demensia Ravin Whey!!” (yet another nickname) you yell at the screen. “She’s not an EXACT rip off. I mean, she has that eyepatch! Rei from Evangelion is NEVER seen with an ey—“

(Bam! Before you can even finish that statement.)

This is an official screencap from the actual animation, shortly after the attack of the first angel I do believe. So yeah. BLATANT rip off. Even the freakish anatomy is slightly similar: The original artists always gave the girls freakish proportions, AKA Pencil thin limbs, even smaller waists, etc., et. Ryo copied the waist and arms, but gave her giant hips, legs and (of course) boobs. Because we can’t have artwork of an ironing board, now, can we? Nooo, who wants a deep story of an average looking, not so averagly-fucked up little girl when you can replace all that creepy girl with a creepier story garbage with tits and ass?

But that’s not enough to declare a rip off, you say? What about the name, you say? Surely, Enubi Dark’ness dementioa rabin wayyy, surely he didn’t rip off the na---

(Bam! I do so love interrupting ye of little faith.)

So, like me, she has a ridiculous number of names (because hey, it’s just as in fashion as my leather corset. And my hot pink fishnets. And my pale skin and blood red lips and heavy eyeshadow and my tiny black tutu skirt that shows the bottoms of my butt and…) But look at her name real name:

Samantha Rei Nebulus Dark.

Because originality is soooo 2000-and-late. And everyone’s name HAS to have “Dark” tossed in somewhere. Like mine!

Okay, so, obviously Ryo is a fan of Evangelion and let some of his obsession with Rei seep into his own stories, right? I mean, who hasn’t done that every once in a while?

Wrong. Wrong!

In the description for his aforementioned drawing, “As you can see, she's inspired by Rei Ayanami from Evangelon. I've never once seen the show or game or whatever it is, but I've seen Rei before in Furan-San's gallery.” He saw fanart of Rei, really liked her appearance (Especially since the guy he’s talking about gave her tits bigger than Pam-An,) didn’t bother to actually WATCH the series and learn her story (which is a shame, it was really good, but all that “fighting angels” stuff might not sit well with him anyways, being a fundie Christian and whatnot.) and then blatantly rip off her appearance and name and come up with his own “original” character?

Yup! Pretty much!

This is a point about Ryo I must make: He’s very, very shallow. He sees characters (Rei, MegaMan X, Just about every fuckin’ Zelda character ever, ect ect) doesn’t bother with their actual stories, rips off their appearances and tweaks them slightly (adding boobs to just about every one of them, even the men) gives them a half-assed names (MegaMan X = Spyborg, Link in red tunic on steroids = Ryuu, Rei =…. Rei) and calls them his own original characters. Even Sonic recolors aren’t that bad, at least they don’t paste boobies everywhere.

Oh, and speaking of Sonic recolors? He did that too.

(And he pasted boobies on Charmy. So wrong on so many levels.)

Anyways, back to my point: Ryo is shallow as hell. He don’t want no fat chicks or ironing boards or even scrawny guys. No, everything has to either be straight out of a playboy magazine or jacked up on so many steroids even Ah-nold would tremble in fear at a bodybuilding competition. Not only that, but he doesn’t pay ANY attention to the characters personalities or backgrounds: It’s all looks. What does that say about Ryo? Well, basically, He’s all Tits or GTFO. I’m guessing he’s like this in real life too. Except he can’t conjure up big-breasted women with itty bitty waists and childbearing hips in the real world. Hence why he resorts to manipulating the girls in pictures he sees on the internet. And poor Rei was the target this time. He erased all her personality (believe it or not, she had one) and gave her a cookie-cutter, generic personality with a half-assed backstory. Speaking of which, let’s look at that, shall we?

Samantha Rei was born on the planet of Galaction, a rather famous place in that section of space. She was third in a family of five kids and both parents. Samantha Rei - who liked to just be called "Rei", for short - thought she wasn't any use to her parents. The eldest, Jacob, was dad's pride and joy as he did the things every boy dream of, being great at athletics and getting the high grades. The older sister, Meredith, was miss perfect, being an excellent cook, decorator and being beautiful. The twins, Anna and Jamie, were both the babies of the family, getting a lot of attention---

WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH. Woah. Back up for a sec.

So the oldest boy in the family was Dad’s “pride and joy” because he got high grades and was good at sports while the oldest girl was praised for….. BEING PRETTY AND ABLE TO COOK.

This is another defining trait of Ryo: He relies strictly on gender roles for characters. That’s why his envisioning of his own Gary-Sue character is a borderline god with enough muscles to put Ah-nold to shame while his wife, Queen Zelda, is….. A hot chick with big boobs who does pretty much what she’s told. Because Men are the protectors (and rulers) of women, and the women….. do what they’re told to by their male masters—whoops, did I say masters? I meant husbands, their partners in holy matrimony and.. whatnot.

Nonetheless, little Meredith here is praised for being in a kitchen and making everything pretty because that’s what women do in Ryoland: No, their worth isn’t measured in being smart or physically fit (aside from the cosmetic appeal of a fit woman.) No, her worth is measured in how good a beef stroganoff they can make without messing up the kitchen or their nails, and despite nursing three babies along all day, cooking a giant meal for everyone and keeping the house clean still looking like a MILF and, if the man wants it, still putting out despite how exhausted she is.

This reliance on gender roles is also probably the reason why Ryo hates gay men, specifically. Simply put, a woman can be butch or manly and that’s okay with Ryo (as long as she still looks like a playboy play mate and, despite her attitude, still does whatever the fuck men tell her to do.) Men, however, are always muscly, tough, brute plow horses who don’t take shit from anyone, especially their naggy wives. Making a pie? That’s a woman’s job. Taking care of a man? That’s a woman’s job. Watching My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic? That’s a woman’s job… er, show. (This is STRICTLY from his POV. MLP Is an AWESOME show. Jus’ sayin. Brohoof.) The point is, he can’t handle men acting like anything other than…. Men. This is just one of my numerous theories as to why he hates gay men, but is seemingly tolerant of lesbians (as long as they’re hot.)

Anyways, back to shitty writing.

She wasn't bad at anything she did, but she didn't excel like her older siblings did, but she wasn't the cute little girl that gave her the attention like the twins did.

… but she wasn’t the cute little girl that gave her the attention like the twins did?

Okay, this will be the ONLY time I will be pointing out grammar problems in his writing because if I keep going I’ll be here alllllllll fucking night. But yeah, that sentence was horribly thought out.

Moving on.

Rei wasn't considered as very pretty at all, being more solid in form and having thicker features like bigger bones, shoulders and lips. Eventually, she got tired of being shoved in the back. She was wanting to do something no one else in her family - other than her dad - had ever done... go into the Galacticon Republic Space Army.

At first, her parents were skeptical. Could Rei really handle that sort of environment. She may be a tom-boy, but she's still a girl. They were both shocked to hear Rei's response to that, and yet it made her father think - "So what?" Her mother thought that Rei was just asking for attention since this definitely was stirring up things. Eventually, she saw just how serious she was when she caught her daughter filling out an enrollment form. Shamelessly, Rei answered, "I can't go to the Army if I don't enroll, Mom. Even Jamie can tell you that."

The day came, Rei at 18 years old left the house when Sergent Fang, a war veteran, came to collect her to the recruit camp. Although her father believed she wouldn't last a month, Rei would be away for six years in the Military...

Again with the gender roles. So. Because Rei isn’t “pretty” because she’s got a more solid frame, she never got any attention. This, again, reflects Ryo’s perception of what is acceptable in a woman: Looks. Also, look at the parents reaction of little Rei’s desire to go into the military: “She may be a Tomboy (no – there, Ryo. It’s one word.) but she’s still a girl.”

“BUT SHE’S STILL A GIRL.”

Ryo. Look at footage of the ongoing (as far as I know) war in Afghanistan. What do you see? Soldiers. Notice anything? That’s right. Some of them are WOMEN. Women in the military isn’t a big deal nowadays. So why are Rei’s parents reacting like their daughter just robbed a bank or something? Why did Rei’s mother “Catch” her filling out an enrollment form, much like one would catch their child looking at midget scheiße porn? Why does a man, whose daughter’s words got him to seemingly rethink his stone-age ways, suddenly have very little faith in her?

Why is Ryo writing about it like it’s a huge, earth-shattering concept?

Because to him, it is.

Anyways, going on.

While she was there, Rei began to get changes in her life, both physical and mental. She took very good care of herself and paid attention well in her courses. She became very intelligent and found a very unique talent - her aiming was unlike anything Sergent Fang had ever seen in a new recruit. He decided she would specialize in firearms because unlike any other, she was deadly with one even in her first days of practice. But other things also took place, like her form finally began to fill out, as one would call her a late bloomer. She actually began to get the attention of the guys there. Another thing was her speed in learning and performance which led her to ascend in rank fairly quickly. At the end of six years, she had become one of five in the Elite SWAT Gold Bar division! When the wars got tough, they'd call on her for help.

So.. Rei “becomes” intelligent, (because we ALL know women aren’t born intelligent like men are, only when thrown into a male dominated camp can they “become” intelligent like them) does really good in her courses and has ungodly aim that even the war-vet Sergeant Halfassedname has never seen before, but the attention she gets from men is from….. HER FORM FILLING OUT.

I’m not going to rant on again about Ryo’s extremely shallow perspective of women, because again, I’ll be here all fucking night.

And a tough war did come... An event that would change Rei's life forever.

*shrieking roar*

 (Love how he adds his own sound effects to his writing. He should write his own theme song while he’s at it: Ryo, the amazing sexist.)

Draco.

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG DRACO’S IN THIS?!

--- Oh, not that Draco.

Damn. Way to rip off yet another established character’s name and get my hopes up at the same time. Dick.

Anyways, not going to get into the rest of the story. Pretty much, she’s no match for Draco and gets sliced to shit and brought back from the brink of death by some aliens who are geniuses with robotic medicine… And plastic surgery.

 (OMG SHE WAS MAULED TO PIECES THE HORROR I CAN'T EVEN LOOK AT IT)

That’s right: she still looks like a pinup model, even with her eye slashed out and her legs sliced off, because we can’t make her look like a scarred up freak with creepy android legs, now, can we? How will the preteens fap to that?

Also, after being mauled (and only having a scar on her eye to show it) she feels like she’s lost her life. Yes, that’s right, while most of us would be jumping around pretending to be fucking inspector Gadget, she mopes around that she’s an android because of her lost legs and an eye (and having some robotic parts make you a full-out android. Wikipedia, Ryo, it’s your best friend.) So basically, according to Ryo, the loss of her natural beauty makes a woman lose her sense of worth, and Rei, who was previously bent on just being a war hero and didn’t give a flying rats ass about her body, suddenly felt the same. So much so, that it was mentioned as a reason for revenge, even before he mentions the death of her fellow soldiers.

Here’s the ending to this craptacular story:

With her new robotic eye, she dubbed herself "Crosshair". And her sights were aimed at him... Draco.

You know.. just in case you forgot who “him” is, despite his name being mentioned in the sentence just before this one. Also, what does the eye have ANYTHING to do with crosshairs? Does her eye’s sight have a crosshair aiming system in it? This, my friends, is never answered. I guess he wanted a sniper-esque name for her, and couldn’t come up with anything more original than Crosshair. Well, at least he didn’t directly rip off a name of a previously-existing character he knew nothing about, right RED team sniper from TF2?

(Maybe he just doesn’t know his name…Ah well. Throw another shrimp on the barbie.)

Also, time for a little art criticism.

(Dat ass)

I…. had to think for a few hours about why the HELL she would be posed like that and making that face. I finally came to a conclusion: She MUST have been sniffing her own fart, and the photographer must have just caught her initial reaction to the smell.

Because yeah, real women don’t pose like that or make that face, especially at the same time.

But Ryo keeps commenting on how blocky and heavyset Rei is, but…. LOOK AT HER WAIST. Blocky, stocky, brute women don’t have a fucking 18” waist. So basically to Ryo, it’s okay to be a bigger, heavier girl…. So long as you still have a small waist and hip-bones that somehow still stick out. (Ryo, that doesn’t happen in even really skinny women. Maybe if she was anorexic. Srsly, anatomy dude, books about it aren’t very expensive.)

Also, as the more perceptive of you may have noticed already, you see that Metroid rip-off floating around her? Ryo insists it’s not a rip-off because Metroids are transparent and Volvox (yeah, that doesn’t sound like a part of female anatomy, not at all what are you talking about ah ha ha) isn’t. Because, unless it’s copied RIGHT DOWN TO THE T THAN IT’S TTLY ORIGINAL YOU GAIS!!!! Also, in this image, he ripped off the suit she’s wearing from Gaia online. GAIA ONLINE. And he doesn’t even TRY to cover this up, ladies and gentlemen. He flat-out says it. So not only can he not design his own characters, but he also has to rip off their clothes?

Apparently!

Anyways, I could rage about this for hours but I think I’ve hit every nail about this character straight on the head. Not bad for a first submission, methinks. A little unpolished, but eh, what can you do. I’m certainly not going to kill myself with a steak over it.

Mmmm… Steak….

Fangz for reading guys! This is Enguy Drks’nesss Denentia Rwavbin Wayyu, changin’ into a bat and flying away.

PS: For a full description of what I’m wearing, stay tuned! I’ll keep you updated on that every post I make, c-r-o-s-s my heart and hope to die!! <3 Fangz again!!!