Ryo's Temple of Lulz: 0/10 Would Not Worship

And we're back with more signs. Simply divine! Impeccably fine! Gorgeous design! Signs!!!

... except these aren't any of the above. Sorry, Subrosian Sign Guy, none of these are worth gushing over.

Plunderers will be dealt with severely. Just don't.

... Ryuu does realize people generally don't fucking plunder temples that are being actively worshiped at, right?

I'm sure he doesn't, but too bad. I've decided the temple is abandoned and no one actually worships Ryo anymore, and the last priest or whatever put a sign up telling you not to take shit before he died.

 Isn't that a lovely thought? I know you can't see the smile on my face but it looks a little something like this:

And it feels so good.

Serious discussion time, though: this is the sixth of ten of these stupid things and not a single one of these have anything to do with being guides to living well.

It's one lame joke, and it's followed by five signs telling people to give Ryo things (or attention) or not touch his shit or he'll throw a tantrum. 

... And you know what, when I put it like that it sounds like we're talking about a spoiled four year old at Chuck E Cheese for their birthday. Not an incredibly powerful god. Is Ryo going to actually do anything for you? I'm not talking physical shit. I mean comfort, peace of mind, emotional support.

Why does anyone even worship Ryo? Is there anything in this for the mortals or are you just giving this clown gifts so he doesn't go off and kill you all?

Ryukenden's wrath is very fiery. Don't risk it.

... That answers that, I suppose.

Jesus christ. I'm starting to feel like Ryuu has anger issues he needs to work out in therapy or something ASAP. It's not like this is the first time he's admitted to some seriously worrying power fantasies. 

When he replies to your gift, heed is[sic] words. He will smile.

So is Ryuu saying you make an offering, Ryo gives you advice, and then you have to take it? Is "he will smile if you take his advice" implying Ryo will go off if you don't? There's a lot of ways this can be read. If Ryuu can write a billion signs worth of shitty origin stories he can clarify this.

Regardless, this is the first sign that implies you'll get something in return for worshiping him. I... don't really know what to tell you.

I've always assumed (generally good) deity characters would have a give-and-take relationship with their followers. If you're generally a good person you'll get prayers answered once in a while, offerings are greatly appreciated without any vague, unspecified extra conditions, you get peace of mind and comfort, etc.

But I'm not seeing much if any of that here. It seems like nearly every part of the religion Ryuu's made up is based on Ryo ruling either through fear or extreme amounts of control.

That's not unhealthy at all.

Incidentally, that was a lie. 

When he is pleased, he may grant a wish in his abilities.

I'm seeing an issue here. Well, beyond the grammar. That's a given at this point, though.

The question I want answered? What the hell are Ryo's abilities besides burning things and dumping innocent people into a hellish demonic dimension for daring to ask a question? 

Is he really just saying he'll make people suffer/die for you? Or is there something Ryuu didn't mention because he was preoccupied with blathering on and on about Ryo's backstory?

There's so much missing information here. 

When he appears in the town, revere his presence.

... 

There's so much arrogance on display here words fail me. Fuck off, Ryuu. It is beyond my comprehension how or why anyone puts up with this insufferable asstaco anymore.

Why aren't the offerings and sacrifices and prayers enough? If you're a loving benevolent deity and pay a visit to your worshipers, shouldn't you be aware enough to realize that making them stop everything to praise you EVEN MORE is going to fuck up their livelihood?

I'd think respect would cover it especially if you've been leaving offerings and sacrifices, but that's not enough for Ryuu, I guess. Gotta have fuckin' mindless adulation because his ego is even more bloated than his ridiculous fancharacter.

Fuck this noise.

We have ten commandments here, and I made a pie chart to show how they break down:

... Oh dear.

That's not really a good sign, is it. 

I've heard the religion-as-an-abusive-relationship metaphor before, but damn me if this isn't awfully close to actually being one. 

You have to tell Ryo how great he is constantly, and he's got no problem issuing threats to scare you into obeying. He's thrown people into what amounts to hell for asking basic questions, for fuck's sake. Ryo rules through fear and control and occasionally tosses you a bone. This is not healthy.

The worst part for me is that unlike in the religion-as-an-abusive-relationship metaphor, Ryo actually exists and visits the town where his temple is located. What happens if you stop worshiping this guy?  How fucked are you then, considering everything else? 

If Ryuu was trying to create a religion of peace and love formed around a benevolent deity character, Ryuu failed on pretty much every possible count. 

... Unless...

There's always the possibility this is what Ryuu thinks a healthy loving relationship actually looks like.

... and holy fuck, that is NOT a train of thought I'd like to continue. Nope. I'm not going there tonight or ever.

Which means that's all there is to say on this subject, so I'll see you around. 

EDIT (2/2): It came to my attention that I appear to have missed a commandment:

 Ignoring thy deity's words is not a way to please him

I'm not entirely sure how I missed this, but I did. Regardless, I'm not going to go into great detail on this one, but it sounds like a four year old in timeout screaming for Mommy's attention. 

It's cut from exactly the same cloth as the other stuff, and I don't think I need to go into it any further than that, really.