Oh no! An Internet Tough Guy!

Cala here again.

A dear friend of mine, posting under the DeviantArt account of Change-Or-Die (not her standard account but if you really think I'm giving her actual account name up, you need to get your head examined now), has been trolling the shit out of Ryuu on and off for the hell of it.

My friend here is also responsible for getting Zelda: Epic Journeys taken down under yet another alias. So, yeah. She's epic. Massively epic, in fact, as she did that while drunk.

Anyway, she gave me permission to post this. After said drunk/bored trolling a few months back, she left the account where it was due to, you know, having a busy job.

One of the members of Ryuu's buttsex brigade sent her a note shortly after she vanished. She discovered this today (January 19) upon checking and I asked her permission to post all this. It was granted readily.

From GoddessofWisdomWater (side note: what kind of fucking name is that?; screenshot courtesy of Change-Or-Die):

In case you can't read that, for whatever reason? It says:

'I have been tracking your, eh, messages to people. Espeacialy Ryuu Atrineas. I suggest that if you don't stop being rude, obnoxious and treating people like dirt, then just drop dead. Oh and then burn in hell for all eternity.'

Let's ignore the fucking disgusting levels of hypocrisy. Well, okay, let's not. But I'm only going to point out that telling someone to stop being 'rude, obnoxious and treating people like shit' and vaguely threatening them with death and torture for all eternity is rather ironic.

I totally understand why she's kissing Ryuu's ass so much, mind. A quick glance through her gallery shows she has the same level of creativity. Which is to say, NONE.

Ryuu? I dunno if you're capable of comprehending this but when you associate with people like this it reflects badly on you. Very badly, in fact. This is also why nobody gives you criticism without kissing your ass so much they're essentially rimming you. Which you like in every sense.

Nobody wants to deal with your bitchy, hypocritical fan squad. Even eight arms aren't enough to slap you all with.

Right, on another note entirely, have a mini interview with the mountain of win that took down Ryuu's forum, Ms. Change-or-die herself.

Q: You clearly have a major problem with him but exactly why do you hate Ryuu?
A: "Oh, it could be that he hasn't had an original thought since the day he was horribly brought into this world by a guy in a white coat. It could also be his complete ignorance when it comes to, well, pretty much anything. The guy is a complete asshole as well."

Q: Well, that makes sense to me, at least. Are there any characters in particular you have a problem with?
A: I'd have to say that each character of his has a special place in my mind where they are being tortured in one way or another. Some by stabbing, some set on fire, others having to watch Barney until their eyes bleed from their sockets... Or if it's Ryuu then he gets all of the above. I have never come across such a horrible mary-sue in my lifetime. We all have some sort of character that we create when we're young and it isn't the greatest idea but it evolves into something much better. He has never done that with Ryuu. They guy can do pretty much anything in the world and has no true weakness. Having a high temper doesn't mean anything; it just makes him more like the Incredible Hulk than anything else."

Q: Which is exactly what we've been saying. It's not just us, clearly. But, any parting words for Ryuu and his fucking fansquad?
A: "I'd just be repeating myself from the post I made in the forum and in the comments I've left for him all over dA. Though I would like to say this to his followers: You are all complete morons for even going along with the garbage that spews from his mouth and onto his characters. You need to get your heads out of your asses and see the light. Honestly I'm wasting my fingers typing to them but oh well. And that is all I can think of. Thank you for your time and thank you people on this blog for realizing the utter bullshit that this guy puts out. That is all.

So that's it for the interview with Change-Or-Die, thanks to her for her time. If anyone else would like to submit anything, you can leave a comment or email me at ryuusubmissions [at] yahoo [dot] com. You can be as anonymous or as public as you like. I love love love submissions, people! Screenshots help too, by the bye.

Sources, etc.:
Q-and-A with C-O-D conducted over MSN Instant Messenger. Title came from my best friend's reaction when I showed him the message. God doesn't approve, people.
C-O-D's DA: Not a lot there. Obviously.
GoddessofWisdomWater's DA: Warning: massive fail is contained in this gallery.

It was a beautiful winter morning in my neck of the woods. There was a couple inches of snow on the ground, you could see all the squirrels running around in my backyard, the birds were eating at our bird feeder...

So thanks for ruining that for me with 'Walk With Me', Ryuu, you fucking pompous DICK.

If you feel up to it, scroll straight down to the bottom of the post and click the first link. Ideally, when you aren't eating or drinking something, as there is so much wrong with that fucking thing I don't know where the hell to start. So I'll start with Serenity, who I frankly hate.

Personality wise, I know the Phantom Snarker who caused Ryuu to throw a hissy and take down the forum already covered that. But I'm gonna cover that again because I don't appreciate squick on that scale and on top of that, I'm a rather vindictive son of a bitch. If I make LZ cry, I find I don't really care.

Serenity is supposed to be the purest of the goddamn pure. She's innocent and loving and fucking slap happy all the damn time.

In practice, she comes across as developmentally disabled. As a child or a teen, it doesn't matter. End result is the same. I can't think of any teenage girl who'd nickname their love interest 'Cesilly' because 'Cecil was being silly' who didn't have a developmental disability. Even if you shorten it to 'Illy' that doesn't make her seem any less disabled. It's pretty painfully obvious that there is no way in hell a typically developing teenage girl would act like that. Even a naive or stupid one. I also feel obligated to apologize to people with developmental disabilities for having to mention them in the same sentence as this thing.

(On an unrelated note, Cesilly is also a terrible play on words. And I'm guessing LZ is unaware of this but Cecily is a goddamn girls name.)

Even ignoring that, you have a teenage girl who's obsessed with and absolutely worships her father, and he's borderline obsessed with her. There's being close to your father and then there's taking his every word as gospel and basically worshiping the ground he walks on. You can also see in that particular picture that Ryuu drew a heart over Serenity's head before erasing it.

I don't know why. The musical notes don't help anything. You may as well have just left it as it's not like it'll make it any worse.

Making things worse, LZ left a comment saying it reminded her of a previous picture which involved kiddie-Serenity nuzzling Ryo's hand. A touch creepy, but not like this. A snippet sans kissyface and fucking cheesy nicknames:

It kinda gives me the same vibe as Market Town Fun, do you remember that one? Just as cute but Reenie's a bit older now.

I included the link to Market Town Fun. Ryo is walking through Hyrule Castle Town holding a giant wallet, has kiddie-Serenity hanging off his free hand, is missing his shirt and basically looks like a pimp prostituting a kid. Fuckin' creepy. That isn't the vibe I'd want a picture of mine to have.

Ryuu's reply? Creeped me the holy hell out, and I didn't think it could GET worse at this point. Snippet cutting out more of their their revolting kissyface and Ryuu's idiotic abuse of emoticons is used here; full quotes as always can be found at the end of the post:

I do remember that one! I really love it, showing Lil' Renny nuzzling Ryo's hand And he had to hold hid [sic] hand down for her to do that! She's bigger now But he [sic] admiration has only gotten stronger, mm?

I feel obligated to first point out Ryuu's giant Freudian slip there. Serenity is a he? And here I thought crossdressers, because they're ALL those damn gays and never straight men, creeped him out.

Sarcasm aside (for the moment), I don't consider a teenage girl staring at her dad with the most sappy possible expression (like, 'freshman in high school staring adoringly at her starting quarterback boyfriend, who's also a senior' sappy) admiration. I consider that SERIOUSLY FUCKING CREEPY. I don't know WHAT the hell Ryuu's family life is like if he considers that normal and frankly, I don't want to.

The expression? Made several times creepier by the fact that Serenity in all her massively ditzy Sueness innocent purity is allowed out in clothes that no father would let their daughter wear without a fight, especially not a king. I'm no royal but if I insisted on wearing that short of a skirt and stripper boots out of the house in my teens, my father would've had an aneurysm, grounded me for a month and confiscated several things of value. Hell, I think Daddy Calamareye'd have a stroke if I tried that now, because he's a responsible and concerned father. Not a damn creeper.

Sadly, the breaking of the Incest-o-Meter is the least of the issues here. The description on this piece of shit is really not helping.

Breakin' it into two pieces for ranting's sake. First half:

"Walk with me, my dear Serenity. Stay close to your father's path. I will lead you through the fields where the sun shines bright and all is calm. I will be with you. Should the path be smooth and the way is calm, take my hand and rejoice with me, I will be with you. Should the terrain be rough and the rock give way to threaten your walk, take my hand and steady yourself on me, I will be with you. For in the paths of smooth dirt or rugged stone, we have never left the fields where the sun shines bright and all is calm. I will be with you; I am with you."

Holy crap, this sounds like the shit you'd find in Christian devotionals. Mama Calamareye is a very devout Christian and being the nosy squid bastard that I am I've leafed through some of her devotionals and such. This sounds like that Footprints story, or some other parable you'd find in one of those Christian magazines. All I can draw from that? 'Holy fuck, Ryuu. Unwarranted self-importance much?'

It seriously sounds like he's comparing Ryo to god. And I'm admittedly not a very worshipful squid, but I was raised Christian. According to what I remember from church, Big G's not really fond of that sort of thing. At all. I think this technically may even violate the commandment about 'having no other gods before me'... I know it's a definite case of pride. And a lot of it.

Onto the second piece. Can't be worse, right?:

Here to begin the new year, I have King Ryo and Princess Renny having some quality Father/Daughter time! We're all being led into a new year, symbolized by Ryo leading Renny along, and she adores her dad and trusts him with all her heart, so she follows him and as long as she keeps her hand in his, she knows she's safe to the utmost degree. ^^

Okay, I was wrong. Yet again. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to puke. Everywhere. I'm seriously not sure if that could possibly be any cheesier. Eurgh.

Now that I'm done vomiting everything I've ever eaten, this half gets dissected too.

Your allegories suck, dickhole. Not all of us need someone to hold our hands as time passes. I for one am glad 2011's over, and enter 2012 with hope and my head held high. I don't know anyone, even little kids, who are afraid of the new year.

(I'm sure there's a couple people who've been badly misinformed about the Mayan calendar ending and are terrified but I'm not really counting them.)

And this, yet again, cycles back to the fact that this is the world's most helpless teenage girl. Seriously. If you're in your teens (I don't know how old teenage-Serenity is and I don't care enough to look it up) you should be able to go for a fucking walk without Daddy holding your hand. I don't know any teenage girl without (again) severe psychological problems who needs to feel safe all the damn time; if anything, that's the age where kids start to rebel. 'TEENAGE REBELLION? OH, NO, NOT FOR SERENITY, QUEEN OF ALL MARY DAMN SUES!' Good lord, she's so fucking boring some teenage rebellion might be what she needs.

Also, the look on Serenity's face brings up the rather worrying question of 'what sort of father/daughter quality time are we talking about here?', as the incest urges seem to be mutual. My idea of father/daughter quality time is going to the bookstore or something with the old man. I don't think that's what those two have in mind, unless 'going to the bookstore' is a euphemism for something else altogether.

As I was finishing this all up, Ryuu kindly posted another image that's somewhat less squicky but still definitely triggers the creep-o-dar. I'm gonna rip that thing apart later, as this thing is long enough on its own.

Hey, Ryuu. Congrats, dickhole. You spawned a 'Squick' tag.

May wanna take a good long look at why you 1.) view this sort of relationship as normal and 2.) have every female character you've stolen, ripped off and pilfered created appear totally helpless and dependent on her father/brother/freaky pet monster, you fucking prick.

Happy new year, Ryuu. I'd hope this'd be the year you'd change some of your bigoted bullshit but I'm not silly enough to get my hopes up anymore.

Sources:
Walk With Me in its squicky radiance: Incest Incest everywhere!
Market Town Fun: Or As I insist on calling it, Underage Squick
For Cecil's fucking nickname: Dunno how he fell in love with someone that dumb. LOGIC? WHAT'S THAT?
For the comments of incest-squared: Warning: contains cheeseball mushy EVERYONE NEEDS TO KNOW WE'RE IN LURV bullcrap

Hey. Hey Ryuu.

Hey.

You know those year-end memes that you and LZ did?

This one and this one?

You realize the point of those memes is to show your improvement over the year, right?

Right?

'Caaaause you didn't improve at all. In an entire year. Not one little bit. And neither did your girlfriend, from the looks of things!

You two were so made for each other.

See what happens when you wallow in oceans of praise and make no effort whatsoever to actually do more than half an ass's worth of trying?

Yeah.

Happy new year, buddy. :3

(I totally tried to spell that 'butty' oops.)