Well...
You'll see.
The deal here is that apparently one of their friends stumbled onto a Minecraft server (if that's what you'd call it?) that Ryuu plays on. I don't do Minecraft, I don't understand how servers work with this game, but you can supposedly find this shit at play.reeseriverson.com.
I believe it's run by Ryuu's friend Hoodcom, based on the URL, but my source says it's a public server, so if you play Minecraft and wanna go take a peek at this shit before Ryuu chickens out and deletes it all, go for it.
I was told Ryuu made a temple to his roidy Jesus wannabe. I rolled my eyes and figured it couldn't be that funny, but then I opened the folder full of screencaps.
I was so fucking tickled I laughed silently and clapped like a moronic seal. It's like christmas came again, because you can actually see how Ryuu's devolved as a writer between CotT and this tripe.
There's a fair amount of content here so I'm gonna spread this out a little. This is just a content dump. Apologies for the size of these, some of them are just unreadable if I resize them. Even cropping the program bar out of these was a pain in the ass because the resolution is so much bigger than what my shitty PC could handle. You can probably figure out where I decided 'screw it' and quit cropping it out.
If you don't want to open massive files or just hate reading walls of text on Minecraft signs, I've included transcripts of the stupidly long walls of signs. Some of these were done by the person who grabbed the screencaps and some of them were done by the person who sent them to me. Gonna go off course for a second to say thanks for saving me a serious headache!
Anyway, I've added some paragraph breaks to the transcriptions but I didn't really proofread anything, so please forgive any errors beyond Ryuu's usual inability to write.
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| List of the players: Ryuu, Hoodcom, Alexman, and LogicalFish. The signs say the stuff in the screenshots dates from 2011. |
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| These look like blue curtains to me but my source says they're portals. Signs point to two different worlds. |
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| Oh look everyone, here comes the rampant egomania. |
LEARN AND READ ABOUT THY HOLY DEITY OF FIRE RYUKENDEN
(first row)
Thou shalt not dive into the moat of magma. It burns.
Desecration of the temple will make the deity very angry.
Ignoring thy deity's words is not a way to please him
The Fire Deity delights in gifts, such as fresh milk.
Sacrifices are classic ways to call forth his attention.
(second row)
Plunderers will be dealt with severely. Just don't.
Ryukenden's wrath is very fiery. Don't risk it.
When he replies to your gift, heed is words. He will smile.
When he is pleased, he may grant a wish in his abilities.
When he appears in the town, revere his presence.
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| Sumbit? Proofreading is for lesser beings, I guess. |
The oath of the Priestess, Written as it is required
Ryukenden, my true guardian spirit, I sumbit myself to you.
Your commands, your promises, your statues, I will follow
I lead your people in your will, and you lead me by it
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| SPOILERS: THIS STUPID FUCKING THING IS GETTING SPORKED SEPARATELY. |
Thousands of years ago, the virgin land was dwelt upon by two destinct tribes: Wood Elves and Blood Elves. The Wood Elves worshipped the Deity of Fire, Ryukenden. They prayed to him and praised him for their lives, be it in peace or be it in trials. They loved their overseeing one.
The Blood Elves worshipped the realm of the Nether and its demons. They believed only darkness had strength. The Blood Elves despised their Wood Elven cousins for their peace and prosperity, thinking their Deity was weak, for his wrath never poured upon them.
They sought to bring a more worthy ruler to this land. They toiled to complete their work and the Nether was open to the world. From it came the horrible Dagoth-Bal, the king of the Nether. But the sunlight made him blinded and angry. He raged through the land, rage the Blood Elves could not control.
The Wood Elves called upon the Fire Deity for their protection and salvation from the demon. And lo, light came from the heavens, a figure descent from above-- Wings of four, body carved like stone.
The Fire Deity had come!
He drew His sword, longer than His height. He then waged his war against Dagoth-Bal. Their bout clashed for three days and nights without cease. Then at last, Ryukenden struck Dagoth-Bal a mighty blow, leaving him paralyzed! Ryukenden bound him with chains of holy fire and cast him back into the Nether.
The Blood Elves came to him, asking what dark entity he was to be more powerful than the Nether. The Fire Deity was offended and said unto them, "You believe I am evil because my strength is much? How dare you propose I am of darkness! Open your eyes, you courters of demons! I shall give you what you so desired! You will serve your coveted king all of your days!" And he cast them into the Nether, tearing the portal apart.
He then praised the Wood Elves for their loyal and faithful prayers. He blessed them and promised He would always protect them from harm. He rose into the heavens, giving His blessing to heal the burnt land below.
To give thanks for the Elves' deliverance, they built a mighty Temple with His image in the place where victory was had. They began to give their prayers at the Temple, and further still, they were blessed. This is the way of Valandil. We praise our Holy One for our freedom. Amen.
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| This sign is next to the literal wall of text in the following screenshot. |
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| My god, Ryuu. Get a life or something. |
THE VALANDIL APPLE
Deep in the valleys of Valandil, there is a tree which bares fruit of gold and yet it is not a metal treasure. Hidden away, this tree rests and undisturbed it remains except once a year, when its fruit can be harvested.
Only one bite one must take of this fruit, for it performs miracles to the mortal body, but a greedy soul who takes two bites shall fall ill and perish.
This gift of the Fire Deity will only be taken by the one whose heart is of gold like the gold apple itself and the miracle is done.
TRANSCRIPTION OF RIGHT SIDE:
THE COLDEST WINTER
It came without warning. No prophecy told us it would come, but came, it did. Clawing the air, the winds did, our skin tore at its whim, our homes a futile means of escape from it.
The snow violently built upon our land at a rapid pace. All of us took refuge in the Sacred Temple. But living inside without food could not be done. Many animals froze out in the ice, so they granted us our meals. The heat of the Temple's lava was like our Deity wrapped His arms around us in a father-like fashion. He kept us safe from the icy torment outside the Temple.
Once the snow ceased to fall, we examined our homes. They were gone... and the land to the South was unnaturally quiet. . .
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| Presumably this is the temple exterior. |
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| I love how he's supposedly been moving his characters out of Zelda but there's still a big ol' fucking Triforce right there. Never change, you talentless hack. |
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| More Triforce at what I'm assuming is the altar. Oh look, it's also a LttP Great Fairy Fountain ripoff. Original universe my ass. |
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| He keeps shoehorning his milk fetish into everything and it is getting super weird. Ryuu, please stop. |
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| This is the stupidest thing I've ever read and I've read My Immortal and My Inner Life. Oh my god, my sides. |
THE GREAT WAR AND THE MAGE OF WHITE HAIR
At one time, the land of Valandil would reach the shore of the West and the East, the North and the South, the land protected by lava being the most holy ground. However, this blissful era was to come to an end, when suddenly odd contraptions started being sighted in the horizon.
Ships from other countries came sailing to the sacred land of Valandil. They contained many strange men and they intended to stay. We did welcome them as to not try and make them want war with us. They each set up small houses to live in, each nation with its own portion of land to dwell on. We still roamed freely, then.
Then one day, there was a dispute amongst the strangers, claiming one to have wronged another. Their feud caused them to build great walls, turning their houses into fortresses. They only knew of hate for one another and had forgotten why.
It was not long before war came to this land, us being forced to ourselves seal in the most holy land. Fire, swords, anger and rage were rampant. It was as if our own land was no longer home. We prayed to our Deity to deliver us from this horrible war.
Days later in this war, a man with bright flowing white hair came to us. He passed the Temple's trails and said to us that he was summoned by a great god of fire to cleanse our world from this band of corrupt settlers. He proclaimed from atop the Temple unto the outer lands, "I am casting the spell of destruction! This entire continent will be torn asunder for your wicked ways! You can't stop me, for it will happen in 30 seconds! May the Fire Deity have pity on the souls still innocent! Goodbye!"
But the fight was so great, they did not heed his calls. In 30 seconds, great lightning came from the heavens, the ground erupted with fire, brimstone was like rain, the great war ended with all sides wiped away. The land within the lava wall had been protected by our holy one. With his work done, the Mage left us, built a boat and left the land.
There was one man who came out of Temple when it was over, a man who resembled our Deity. He offered to rebuild the destroyed land and make it a great country, he would be its ruler and would make a pact to protect us from other people trying to over-take us. Our priestess did agree to let it be so. A castle was built on the east coast, marking the first day of Elendil.
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