Paging Dr.(_____): The Soren Project Part 1

As some of you may recall from my introductory post I made a few accusations that I promised I would elaborate upon, chief amongst them my opinion that Ryuu, while not without talent as an artist, was letting his talent go to waste. Yes I went there. I meant It then, I do now. I'm also very aware that those were some real big fightin' words, so tonight is when I "put up or shut up," as it were.

This in mind I decided that I would take an example of Ryuus work and give it a once over to illustrate what I find could be improved upon in his work. So I took the first piece from his deviantART gallery linked to me (Snow-HEAD-Boarding) and redrew parts of it, shade da great deal of it, and generally finished the piece. In the end turning the original, into this. Please take a moment to compare.

I had the presence of mind to save my progress in stages so I could best explain how I went about my work, and make commentary on the original. However those are for future posts as I feel a quick Q&A is in order to answer some burning questions.

Q: How dare you edit this without Ryuus permission!
A: I'll admit it really would have been best to secure his permission to alter his work. However given the reason I was altering it in the first place I don't think I would have gotten it so I did it anyway. Still I do feel a bit guilty, so should Ryuu remain a good sport about the whole thing and make a bit of effort towards improvement I would like to offer it as a gift to him to show there's no bad feelings on my part.


Q: What did you use to do the work?
A: I used a free program called MyPaint and a graphics tablet. MyPaint is a very good program, especially as it's free and I highly recommend it if you have a tablet.


Q: No fair! Ryuu did this by hand, and you used a digital program!
A: A fair point, and one I considered as I worked on this. That's why I restricted myself to a single brush setting which emulates a 2B pencil (pretty well I might add). While drawing digitally allowed me a fair amount of neatness, there is nothing I did that is not reproducible with real media (such as pencils & pens) and a steady hand. Ryuu may need to acquire better paper and pencil/pen stock, but it's not anything that requires a computer to do.


Q: Why not edit one of his newer works?
A: I'll admit It would probably have been better to do so, but I decided that this was a good example of his work, as he hasn't drastically improved or changed since then. So I feel this one serves just as well. Other than that, no particular reason.

Paging Dr. (_____): The Soren Project Part 2

I'll assume you've come straight from Part 1 so I'll just dive right into things. I'd like to discuss the first stage of alterations, as seen here, where I simply removed the notepaper lines and binder holes. As before, please take a moment to compare it to the original.

This removal of the lines brings us to the first, and most obvious issue with Ryuu's work as an artist, namely his choice of medium, pencil and notebook paper.

What's wrong with notebook paper I hear you ask? Simply put, its the medium of complete amateurs. Few serious artists even consider it, preferring the better quality paper of sketchbooks (which are not that expensive at all). This is because the very cheapness of notebook paper means you can't do as much with it. Too much inking, pencilling, or even erasing and it'll rip. Markers bleed right through, and pencil lines smudge, ruining any fine details and lines. It simply can't compare to the sturdier paper you get in sketch pads (which, again, are not that expensive).

Another problem is the lines. For starters, the lines are a crutch. Using them allows you to better gauge proportions and such things, but like any shortcut they make it harder to do the same without them. Secondly, they give a false sense of "fullness" to the picture, as once the lines are gone you can see that there was a lot of empty space being hidden by the notepaper lines.

The first bit is perhaps forgivable, though Ryuu should try and learn to get by without, though if he's not quite ready to give up the lines I'd suggest using a ruler and pencil to make his own lines in a sketchpad and erase them after he's done. The lines are still a distraction though, as you can't accurately gauge how much empty space the picture has with them in the way. They also interfere with any fine details that happen to cross their path.

All in all, notepaper is the choice of amateurs, which I feel has Ryuu doing a disservice to his own work, as in my own opinion for Ryuus faults as an artist he most certainly can do better both in medium and as an artist.

Paging Dr. (_____): The Soren Project Part 3

Again, I'll assume your a glutton for walls of text and came straight from part 2, so I'll waste no more time and get on with it. Having dealt with the need to choose a good medium to work with, mostly by explaining the the deficiencies of notepaper as a medium, its time to move on to Stage 2. Please take a moment to compare it to Stage 1.

While I've obviously begun shading, I'd like to mostly discuss line-work and body structure for this post. Though I'll have to only cover key issues as the covering full details of these too subjects would quickly get out of hand.

Body Structure:
First off, I don't just mean musculature, as that's just a part of body structure as a whole. No I mean pose, proportion of body parts, proper angles, joints of the body, and yes, proper musculature. Basically all the ingredients to ensure that any humanoid body you draw actually follows the rules of the human body. For example, there are ways your knee cannot bend, pure and simple, and this applies to drawings as well. Ryuu, for the most part, is actually fairly good at body structure, even going so far as having traced out the parts of the shoulder that he later covered with the vest. This is a good habit to have, though it would have been better if he had erased the evidence entirely (more on that later).

However, he did make a few mistakes, which I shall explain. First off, below the knee you'll find that the back leg is twisted around so that the foot faces a different direction than the knee. I'll go into more detail on this one next post, so lets move on. The proportions of the drawing are fine for the most part, though a few issues arise with the musculature. The calve muscles weren't rounded as they should be for someone as athletic as Soren, and the back thigh was a little bit under-muscled so it wasn't as big as it anatomically should have been. Lastly there was a long tendon along Sorens arms that I removed as It tends to be thicker when it is obvious, and not that obvious the rest of the time.

Line-work:
Line work is pretty much exactly as it sounds. Lines curve smoothly, straight lines are straight, etc. There's some trouble here, this is a common problem only resolvable through practice (hint: straight lines are best done with a smooth swift motion). However, it's also important that your maintain clean lines. Blurry lines distort where one part of the drawing ends and others begin. Further, any line you erase you'll want to erase fully. Otherwise, as is the case with the remnants of Ryuus body structure sketching, they'll make parts of the picture look "see-through." Because we can see parts of the shoulder that the vest covers up, the vest becomes less solid, almost as if its not entirely there. Unless this is on purpose its obviously a problem, easily fixed by making sure you completely erase things. With line-work cleanliness is a high virtue, and unless your being intentionally messy, things like ragged, wobbly lines and incomplete erasures should be avoided when possible.


And that's it for Part 3! A real mouthful I know, but chock full of technical detail (it's good for you)

Paging Dr. (_____): Constructive Criticism Part 1

Greetings one and all and a good evening to anyone I may have missed! It is time once again for I, the woefully bombastic Dr. (____), to grace this blog with my oh so tedious ego and vapid wit! Never fear though, for I, the eternally melodramatic Dr. (_____), shall endeavour to be a good evenings entertainment in spite of my glaring deficiencies as a man of succinct exposition and humour!

To this end its time for everyones favourite bit of any serious discussion, the editorials! That glorious section where opinion masquerades as fact and all semblance of unbiased commentary goes out the window (good thing too, it was cluttering up the place!), and your host, the forever rambling Dr. (_____), goes completely out of his gourd!

Ok that's enough of all that, its time to put the crazy away and get around to ye olde meaningful writing, going out of my mind shall have to wait. But where to begin? Well I suppose explaining what the hell constructive criticism means would be a good start.

Paging Dr. (_____): Constructive Criticism Part 1:

Oh constructive criticism, what a cheap phrase that's become, with way too many people mistaking it for the old mantra of "say something nice, or nothing at all," when this is not what constructive criticism means, as by definition criticism is kind of on the harsh side of things. No matter how gently you break it, or how valid it is, it is still criticism.

No what this "only say nice things" mindset ends up doing is filling the heads of many aspiring writers, artists, musicians, and whatever else with gobs upon gobs of praise and little actual advice on how to actually improve upon upon their art. The thinking seems to go that so long as you don't quash a young artists fragile muse it'll flower into something beautiful all on its own.

Sadly the truth is that this is rarely the case, especially with self taught artists. Many an aspiring artist who has subjected themselves to professional scrutiny has found, to their sorrow, that you can have all the good feeling in the world and that won't mean a thing if all you can produce is a flat two dimensional stick figure.
While technique is only half of what makes good artwork (the other half being the indefinable spark of genius.) you can't count yourself amongst the best without it, and that's where the "only say nice things" mindset hurts artists more than it helps them.

To illustrate my point, I present to you the following hypothetical situation:

An artist you know wants your opinion on a work in progress. Upon viewing the piece you notice there are very serious flaws with the lighting and shadow. This is not a minor thing, like a misshapen leaf or a less than ideal composition, proper lighting is one of the very foundations of proper artistic technique. Books upon books have been written on the subject, art classes will make a big fuss about it, its a major problem.

Here are your available solutions:

Option 1:
You can be all smiles and good cheer, saying it was a excellent job and that with a little extra effort, you're sure those minor flaws with the lighting will be a thing of the past. This does nothing but tell the artist there is a vague, non specific, and minor flaw in their work. Assuming the artist has taken your critique to heart they're likely to reach the following conclusion about their work. "One one hand, there's apparently something wrong with how I did the lighting. But on the other hand it wasn't bad/big/important enough to point out specifically so it can't have been too bad. Besides they said it was very good anyway!

Option 2:
You can be honest with the artist, and point out that there are major flaws in their work. In an attempt to be helpful you take the time to point out the problem areas exactly, explaining how the lighting should act in order to accomplish what the artist was aiming for. Here you can give your own humble opinion on how the artist can accomplish this, though of course the artist is free to provide their own solution to the problem. With their shortcoming firmly in mind they can alter the picture according to new goals and aims in an attempt to compensate or correct for the existing flaws, or possibly start anew in a bid to get it just right. On one hand, you thrown a monkey wrench into things. On the other hand, you did your best to help fix things, and now the artist is once again pursuing their goal, with the problems fixed.

With Option 1, what you've basically done is mislead the artist about how skilled they really are, telling them what they wanted to hear instead of what they needed to hear. This is not constructive criticism as, to any serious artist, their level of skill is their pride and joy. It's what they use to bring their vision to canvas, paper, whatever! Their art is something meaningful and important to them, and in some cases is their very livelihood. With all that in mind, consider that you've just lied about how successful their attempt to bring their vision to live was in an attempt to spare their feelings.

Wait, I hear you cry out, I told them there were a few minor things! So you did. But those minor things could be anything, if the artist wasn't aware they existed beforehand, what good will vaguely declaring there's one or two small things to fix do? You didn't tell them where to look. If you did, you didn't point out the full extent of the problem, saying it just needed a bit of polish or something. This lack of honesty in favour of trying to boost their spirits will do them no favours when they try and present their work to people who will not be as forgiving. If anything their feelings will be hurt worse because when it really mattered they thought their work was better than it actually was!

Option 2, as the more astute amongst you have probably figured out by now, is what constructive criticism actually is. Its being honest about all every single shortcoming and how severe they are. The artist will not necessarily like it, but for something so important they deserve the truth, especially if your their friend. Constructive criticism is not only being unafraid to knock-down something that's not good, but to help put up something better in its place. The key word here being help, as you cant outright do it for them.

There's more to being a constructive critic of course, but all the details on ettiquite and such will be covered in Paging Dr. (_____): Constructive Criticism part 2! Available now at all for the low low price of $99.99! Or, you know, for free in this blog...

Whatever! Until next time, this has been the indefatigable Dr. (____), wishing you all a good evening!

Paging Dr. (_____): Constructive Criticism Part 2

Welcome one and all, and good evening ! It's time once again for your evening does of egotism, as I, the deliriously long-winded Dr. (_____), bring the epic editorial brinkmanship of my previous post to an exciting conclusion! There will be action, adventure, and padding galore! Okay, not really, but you can't blame a man for attempting to liven things up.

With that out of the way, I see no reason to delay further! So it's straight to brass tacks, as I, the oh so formulaic Dr. (_____), present to you part 2 of my modest discourse on the nature of constructive criticism!

Paging Dr. (_____): Constructive Criticism Part 2: How to be a Constructive Critic.

There are two parts to creating a work of art. The first is the artist's raw creativity, their so called muse. Without this, an artist lacks the raw vision to produce anything remarkable. The second, and far less glamorous part, is the artists grasp of proper technique. An artist can have a wondrous, beautiful creative vision, but without proper technique, all you'll get is a visionary mess.

Obviously you can't instill inspiration into an artist, they have to find it themselves. Fortunately however, and this is where constructive criticism comes in, you can instill proper technique into an artist, through instruction and honest feedback. As we've previously gone over why the honest part is so vital, we won't go into that again. So instead it becomes necessary to examine how to best deliver an honest critique.

First off, here's a good example of what not to do, both as the one giving and the one receiving criticism, courtesy of The Muppet Show's Statler & Waldorf. Even if you know who or what I'm referring to, please watch the linked video anyway so it's fresh in your mind. While the linked video is obviously a comedic sketch, it's still a good place to start when discussing what not to do as a critic.

First off, while certainly honest, this is a horrible way to deliver criticism. It's antagonistic, disruptive, and annoying. But above all it gives no actual advice on what could be better, or any genuine suggestions for improvement, and this last bit is what separates constructive criticism from pointless negativity and abuse.

While the first three points do not necessarily disqualify one from being a constructive critic, they make it very likely that their advice will go unheeded. Therefore a bit of tact and diplomacy is called for. Otherwise, even if you have some genuine useful advice to contribute, you still sound like a heckler. You'll have alienated the artist, and your advice will probably be ignored.

That is not to say that you should sugar coat things, that's where the whole "don't say anything negative" problems comes from. You need to remain as honest as possible, but you also need to be able to do so without making an antagonistic ass out of yourself. After all, you're there to try and help.

Therefore its probably best that you follow these general guidelines until your comfortable giving out constructive criticism. Bear in mind that provided you remain civil and polite, its not rude to provide input beyond "I like/don't like it."

1. Be diplomatic. You will not go far by saying "It sucks" or something abusive like that.
   Start with the honest admission that you feel there are some issues with the piece you'd like to discuss, and then go from there. Be civil, be polite, but be honest.
   
   
2. Go over technical issues first, if there are any. This is where things are clear cut and "easy" as a problem with anatomy, lighting/shading, whatever, is still a problem regardless of the artist or critics tastes in art. Point out specifics and provide solutions to the best of your knowledge and ability.
   
   
3. Having gone over the technical issues, you are now free to express things beyond facts about proper technique, such as your thoughts about the content of the piece. It would be to the artists benefit to hear what goes over well with his audience and what doesn't, but unlike technical issues, this stuff is subjective.
   
   For example: In a comic, you feel the big chase scene would be improved by cutting back on the rampant explosions. This is your opinion, and even if your point is valid this is a matter of taste, not proper technique. You may discus these matters of taste and offer advice, but you must also admit that you are now expressing your own humble opinion, whereas before you were expressing facts about proper technique.
   
   
4. Throughout the process of giving advice, hear the artist out. There must be an actual discussion between the critic and the artist, not merely talking at one other. Improper technique is one thing, and there's not too much an artist can use to justify it. But subjective matters, such as the example given in #3, are a different matter. If the artist can defend his decision to include rampant explosions in the chase scene, this is their artistic vision and you need to be respectful and listen, even if you don't necessarily agree
   
   

Next time you have the opportunity to provide constructive criticism, don't shy away from doing so! Just keep these 4 guidelines in mind and things should go just fine, and you'll be helping the artist develop. It's good for them, provided you're honest as well as nice.

And with that gem I end my little essay on giving constructive criticism. Later I shall write up a bit on how to take it, but for now this seems like a good place to leave off. So until next time I, the triumphantly helpful Dr. (_____), bid you adieu!

Character Sheet: Jack of Lanturns

Good evening one and all! Tonight I, the gloriously verbose Dr. (_____), present (for your viewing plesure!) Ryuu-Atrineas' very own OC, Jack of Lanturns! I, the wondrously forthright Dr. (_____), will be blunt, I do not like this OC, I really don't, mostly because at this point I have high standards for writing of any kind. It's a bookworm thing I assure you. It's going to be a verbal beatdown and I intend to pull no punches with my critique. However, far from simple abuse I, the fair-minded Dr. (_____) shall be the very paragon of constructive criticism! And with the obligatory hot air out of the way its time to get to brass-tacks as Dr. (_____) presents: Jack of Lanturns.

Name: Jack of Lanturns
Nick-Name: Jack
Gender: Male
Age: (unknown)
Height: 7'0"
Weight: 107 lbs.

I've not much to say to the above except that Lanterns is spelt with an "e" not a "u."

Physical Description (body): Jack is a very unusual person. His body is unnaturally thin, as his stomach curves inward at an abnormally skinny position. His ribs are noticeable, as his black skin is tight upon them, giving the appearance that he's on the brink of death by starvation. His shoulders, though they stick out from his body very well, are not really "broad". His medium-length arms are also too skinny to be healthy. His hands only have two fingers and a thumb on each hand. The fingers do bend like a normal person's would but they're shaped like dagger blades. His legs are long, thin, and normally bent at the knee, even when standing. His feet are long with two dagger-like toes in front, and one at the heel. His head is like a huge pumpkin, but eyeholes are cut out of it, allowing his yellow eyes to glow through. His mouth is the base of the pumpkin itself, having a large jaw and teeth that are rowed in pairs like a shark's mouth.

Okay, first off. The "very unusual person" bit is ludicrously unnecessary. Jack is a seven foot tall emaciated, skeletally thin poe, with pitch black skin, bony, dagger-like hands, and a jack o' lantern for a head.

"Very unusual" is an understatement, not to mention beating the readers over the head with the obvious. Furthermore, as my description of Jack shows, alot of this descrition is needlessly long and clunky! We get it, Jack is thin! You could have said as much using words such as gaunt, emaciated, skeletally thin, bony, or a simile like thin as a pin! The English language is full to the brim with words that, used properly, can reduce a long wall of text, into a neat and concise paragraph. We do not need to be hit over the head with the same details over and over, or have whole sentences thrown at us when a single word will serve the same purpose.

Physical Description (Apparel): A torn black cape encircles his neck, and worn black pants cover his legs. Apparently that's it.

Even here we find unnecessary wording! "Worn black pants cover his legs," as opposed to what pray tell? His head?! Unless he's wearing pants in a way that they aren't normally worn, it is completely redundant to say his pants cover his legs. they're pants, that's what they do. "Apparently that's it" is even worse. The whole thing is what people see when they look at him, you do not need to say that's it. Does he have invisible clothes or something? No? Then you need not use the word apparently.

Looks most Like: Jack (Gaia Online)

My fellow contributors hate this, so I think enough has been said about the looks most like bit for now. Instead I'll explain why a I've made such a big deal out of the character descriptions.

It's important to realise that your audience will likely assume everything you bother to write down is important. Things such as "Jack is a very unusual person" confuse things, as the obvious implication is that if he needs to be pointed out as strange, it isn't obvious that he is.

When you describe all the fine details it becomes harder to clearly remember the essentials, and things can become distorted as your audience tries to puzzle out how it all fits together. By using a bare minimum of carefully chosen words you can lodge the defining traits of your character into your audiences brain, leaving the rest to imagination. Not only is this more engaging for your audience, but they'll all arrive at roughly the same desired mental image anyway.

Personality: Jack is known to be truthful and blunt, even if it makes him sound rude. He doesn't care much for being a "Nice" guy, but he doesn't plan on making enemies. He's conservative about time, so he just wants to get done what needs to be done. He doesn't like to be rushed or slowed down, as he has a set schedule in his mind, even if it's only made up within minutes. He has a strong sense of possession and a small sense of sharing. He does share with those he likes, however.

I've said plenty about descriptions so far so let us give more practical examples. Here is a crude rewrite of Jack's personality description.

Personality(rewrite): Blunt and honest, Jack makes little effort towards being sensitive or polite, though he usually doesn't mean to offend. While exceedingly practical with his time, Jack resents working at anything but his own pace. Jack is very stingy with his possessions, though he will share with those he likes.

There, roughly half the length of the original while saying pretty much the same thing. Further personality details shall inevitably be provided through role play. Not that my rewrite should replace the original, I merely point out that with a little effort Ryuu can be vastly more efficient with his writing without sacrificing detail, perhaps making what he's trying to say even clearer at the same time.

Power(s): Can stretch, twist, and deform his already deformed body to be his own weapon - stretch his arms and sharpen his fingers for a long-range slash or join his legs together and sink his toes into the floor to be as sturdy on the ground as a tree.
Upside to Power(s): He's pretty unpredictable as to how to attack or defend.
Downside to Power(s): Being stretched out can put him in a venerable position.

I've nothing to say about the powers, they're fairly straightforward, and I've made a dead horse of my previous points so let us move on and not beat it further.

Strengths: Very strong against magic attacks and arrows seem to only stick to him...
Weaknesses: Fire! Normal fire can burn him really quickly and is more effective than a sword.

Again, fairly straightforward, though it could be a bit clearer whether or not arrows work on him.

History: Jack was originally a poe who had been lurking in the Kakariko Graveyard. Before, his name was Rack. He always had a fascination for shiny things like rupees and Deku Seeds, but he also had a fascination for stealing these things from trespassers in the Graveyard. Apparently, such skill in thievery had found favor among the ranks of Ganondorf. Because he was able to steal efficiently, he was hired by the King of Evil to do some secret funding projects...

Rack had a tiff with a ghastly thin man with a single glowing eye. He stole the man's wallet containing a huge rupee. With that taken, the man was left with no money at all. In contempt, he set up a poe shop, hoping that one day, he'd have the soul of the poe who robbed him brought to him begging for mercy...

One fateful day, Ganondorf gave Rack an alarming gift. Ganondorf felt that Rack could be a better robber if he could slay whole towns from other lands and pillage their wreckages. A superior body and special abilities was the dark gift - but even as powerful as he was, Rack was horrified of his appearance. His pumpkin-like head and scrawny, anorexic phantom body scared him at first, and thought Ganondorf was pulling fun of him in that respect... especially with the new name granted to him - Jack of Lanturns. Jack turned on Ganon as soon as he found he had the power to pose a threat to him. Though Jack wasn't expecting much else from a king of darkness, he didn't like what Ganondorf had done. Unable to think of facing even the other poes, Jack fled from Hyrule. Unsure where he was going or what he'd do away, he just knew he would not be wanted.

Jack has pretty much accepted the fact he's horrifying and companion-less. He's taken up piracy and being a mercenary and such to occupy his time. He'll do almost any service - with a price.

Ah boy. This is bad, mostly because of one massive breakdown of logic (not to mention further abuse of the word apparently). Why does Ganon, who I'm assuming has gotten ahold of the Triforce of power at this point, need to hire a poe?

A man capable of levitating an entire castle, summoning legions of obedient monsters, projecting himself as Phantom Ganon, needs to hire a poe to steal treasure?!

The connection to the poe shop isn't a bad thing per se, though it has little purpose beyond saying "Look! My OC is connected to canon characters!." Returning to the bad logic though, why does Ganon decide Jack needs to be able to pillage towns? Ganon commands The Geurodo, an army of Moblins, Stalfos, and who knows what else. To top it off, Ganon could probably level a town if he wanted to without too much troub- oh wait he did! Look at what's left of castle town!

That's the main problem here, otherwise it merely suffers from clunky writing. However this is very bad logic. Ganon conquered a kingdom, commands an army of evil monsters, and the whole nine yards. He likely already has poes bent to his will who are probably just as good at theft as Jack is/was, never mind the fact that until Link came back he pretty much had everything his way with little effort. Ganon doesn't need more treasure, what he wants is the rest of the Triforce! The origin story makes little sense.

Extra: During the RPGs that he plays a role in, there's something to keep in mind; After Jack makes an attack dealing with stretching his body, assume he has restored himself to normal size by the end of that post unless said otherwise.
RPG Style: Zelda RPG

And thats all from me folk, until next time this is Dr. (_____) saying hello and good-bye!

Introduction: Dr. (_____)

Good evening, I am Dr. (_____) (that's pronounced " blanc' " if you'd be so kind), and it is time once again for that glorious exercise in boredom/tedium, introductions!

First off I, the astoundingly dense Dr. (_____), shall provide you all answers to the questions which are no doubt bursting forth from the very depths of your mind!

Q: What the hell is up with the way you talk?
A: It's mostly a way for me to work myself up into typing up an article. It's fun typing like an obnoxious blow-hard, that and it works my natural tendency to ramble off topic out of my system. Again, it's mostly a bit of fun with words and such to get me started with the more dry and less fun writing

Q: Why don't you like Ryuu?
A: I can only speak for myself of course, but I don't have anything against Ryuu himself. I mostly feel that his work could do with improvement, in some areas more than others, which is NOT a very welcome position to take from what I've seen whilst lurking and digging around in various forums. Regardless I'm here to expose flaws, and not because I'm some kind of hater.

Q: Why Ryuu specifically?
A: Mostly because that's who got picked as the subject of this blog. There's worse artists/writers than him floating around sure, no doubt. There's also better artists too. Ryuu, despite his problems, has potential for drawing, and I feel its currently wasted.

Q: Wasted how?
A: By his stubborn insistence that taking an existing character and changing things makes it original for starters, and I will, elaborate on that seeing as those are pretty harsh words.
Ryuu isn't without potential as far as drawing goes, he merely needs to address some very key issues in originality and technique, again such issues will be elaborated upon in their own articles.

Q: Why you then?
A: Because I've taken enough art classes and done enough sketches to be well acquainted with proper artistic technique. Niceties such as depth, lighting, proportion, etc. While I may not be the best artist ever, I'm nevertheless fairly well informed about what makes good art on a technical level, much in the way a food critic could have excellent taste, but not be the best of cooks himself. Trust me when I say that I do not criticise anything about Ryuu's work that I do not criticise in my own work, as I am consistently my own worst critic.

And that should just about cover it as far as introductions are concered, so until next time I, the outrageously nosy Dr. (_____), shall bid you adieu!

Introduction: The She-Elf

Halloa! I am the She-Elf. Welcome to Zelda: Epic Failure. This blog - well, it says what this blog is about, under the name.

I told myself, repeatedly, that I wasn't going to do this...

How could I, mewling, tiny, insignificant elf that I am, possibly think it wise to go against a Titan like Ryuu-Atrineas?

He's so well-loved! Surely there must be some reason for it. His art is perfect, his characters are wholly original and impeccably crafted. His writing and role playing is vibrant, lively, and deeply engaging. The games he makes are incredibly entertaining and amazingly well crafted and original, as well.

Also, all of those things are lies.

Yet, he has this troublesome fanbase that he could summon with a wave of his hand to rise against me and crush me, and I am but one elf armed with only her wit and a few snarky friends.

And I founded this blog, anyway, to criticize and mock - yes, mock, as horrible, rude, and biased as that sounds.

I am not an evil person, as I'm sure Ryuu's fans will label me. I am capable of pleasant critique. I like to help. I'd even like to be able to honestly say Ryuu's a good guy at heart who just needs a little help.

I might've been pleasant, if I felt a little criticism was welcome on his page - and, to be honest, I don't think it is, the way he puts conditions on it as though it MUST be sugar-coated. At least he admits he's thin-skinned. It is a virtue to understand one's failings. It is a better virtue to try to correct these, but I will not begrudge a man's minor flaws.

The final straw that made me decide that was it, I was going to make this blog and I wasn't going to be all smiles and rainbows about it, was that Ryuu is a bigot. He is homophobic. This does make me more biased than usual. This does make me a bit more aggressive. This does not make me more unfair.

Look at it, this way: if someone were racist, anti-Semitic, or something else bigoted, and you knew of it, would you be as kindly disposed to that person? Some flaws taint the way we see people.

I do not hate him - certainly not. It takes much more for me to invest such a dark feeling in something. However, I do not like him and I cannot respect him - for both his bigotry as well as his theft of characters to make his "original" characters.

He is not the only one with rude mistreatment of a fandom for his superspecialawesome characters, no. But nevertheless, he is the one that was picked. So, here we are - here I am.

As a warning, I am quite insane.

I'm sure you gathered that.

What's in a Name?

Throughout his innumerable biographies and other sundry discussions of his Original Character who shares a name with him, Ryuu has shown an amazing ignorance in naming his own character. Here are some pertinent excerpts:

From: The Making of: Ryo, Vassi and Raphy

He also got his name by then, a joke from Ronin Warriors. The man with the "Wildfire" armor was named Ryo, so I named my OC Ryo after him since his nick-name was in fact WildFire.

[...]

While browsing through Furan-San's gallery, I saw someone called "Ryukenden Hayabusa" from Ninja Gaiden. I figured "Ryukenden" must be what "Ryo" is short for, so I lengthened his name to that.

The most important thing, here, is to point out that the names Ryo (from Ronin Warrior's character, Ryō Sanada) and Ryu (from Ninja Gaiden's Ryū Hayabusa) are completely unrelated.

Ryo, in Japanese, is 遼. Ryū is, as far as I have been able to tell from my awkward research, ・リュウ.

遼 (Ryo) means Distant. [See here.]
・リュウ (Ryū) means Dragon.

As I have no handy link for Ryū, allow me to show how I came to this conclusion: It is taken from the fact that Hayabusa Ryū is represented as 隼・リュウ, and means "Peregrine Falcon Dragon."

Since 隼 means Peregrine Falcon, I can only deduce the rest means "Dragon." Google Translate also renders the rest as Liu, and I know that translations involving L and R are occasionally iffy (hence, the translation of "Zora" as "Zola," among other mistranslations).

Therefore, I can reasonably assume that ・リュウ is Ryū, and means Dragon.

They are decidedly different names.

As another important note: Ryū Hayabusa's name is not Ryukenden.

From: Ryuu Atrineas' Characters [- Legend of Zelda versions of Ryo -]

[...]this means he does not know that the Goddesses are technically his mothers... but he does know the name they had given him - Ryukenden, which means Dragon - He likes the shorter version, Ryo, which he refers to himself as to this day.

Ryukenden does not mean Dragon.

Ryukenden is part of the Japanese name for Ninja Gaiden.

The full Japanese name for the game is 忍者龍剣伝 - Ninja Ryukenden. It literally means "Legend of the Ninja Dragon Sword."

From my attempts with translators:

忍者 -> Ninja
龍剣伝 -> Gaiden

Broken down more:

忍者 -> Ninja (忍 -> Shinobu 者 -> Person)
龍 -> A Dragon
剣 -> Sword
伝 -> Legend

Shakespeare once wrote, in his famed Romeo and Juliet:

Act II, Scene II; Juliet:

What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet.

So, one might argue, why should Ryuu's character's name matter? That's misleading. In creating characters, names do become creatively important and very telling about the creator. It is no crime to pick a name because it is interesting, or because of what one associates with the name.

However! Not learning anything about a name, or taking a name from another character because of a joke or an idle fancy, shows a decided lack of care for the name and a decided lack of originality. Myself, I look through pages upon pages of existing names for inspiration, scour meanings and nationalities, commonness or rarity of use, and those who have had that same name. Some of that might be a little excessive, but some of it is natural.

Despite what Juliet said, names do matter. We evoke names, as though they have power - and they do. When asked who we are, we give our name, not a summation of our history. Likewise, a book is called by its title, not its summary.

It is the label that we give to the definition that makes us. In the world of fiction, this becomes even more important.

But I preach overmuch - it is clear Ryuu has not put great care into naming his character. That is what I set out to prove.

Character Sheet Template

In this blog, plenty of Ryuu’s character sheets will be critiqued. However, while working on such a critique, it struck me that I should probably comment on the basic format that he uses for all of them.

While I could have simply made up the format on my own, using his various character sheets, I was actually inspired to analyze his format in and of itself after I found it posted on his own forum, as the official character sheet format. This was found on a thread titled: Character Registration Information, Plus RPing tips

Name: <- Name of Character. Self-explanatory.

Nick-Name: <- Nickname of Character, in case the character is known as something other than his/her real name. This is optional.

Gender: <- Male or Female... duh.

Age: <- Age of Character... again, duh.

Hight: <- Hight of Character. Kids are short, grown ups are generally tall, but not always. Men are generally taller than women, but is not always the case.

Weight: <- Weight of Character. Kids are light, grown ups are heavier. Men tend to weigh more than women, but is not always the case.

It’s very basic – standard – so there isn’t much to complain about. However, I do have some suggestions: Having a field for race, especially if the main role-plays are Zelda role-plays, would be very handy.

Not everyone has a Hylian/humanoid character.

One could argue that it could be covered in appearance, yes, but a counter-argument would be that one could also cover gender, age, and build (height and weight) in the physical description, as well.

As for build, this is another suggestion, probably less necessary than the previous one, but one still worth mentioning. Have a field for build under height and weight. While the appearance of weight is influenced by height, that’s not a perfect system. Say, for example, one has a Rito character. For those who don’t remember, the Rito are a birdlike race from Wind Waker.

Birds have lighter bones to help them fly, for example. This would influence weight without influencing the appearance too much. Therefore, stating race and build helps form a picture in the mind’s eye, so that some readers don’t assume the character is underweight, simply because of the height and weight.

Muscle, for another example, is heavier than fat. A muscular character could weigh the same as a pudgy character, but not look like it simply because it’s muscle.

However, it is a common enough flaw in character sheets. I can’t rightly hold it against Ryuu-Atrineas.

(Last tip: it’s spelled H – E – I – G – H – T.)

Physical Description: <- Describes how the Character looks. It would be wise to make body and clothing seperate so you can tell the Character's build as well as his/her outfit clearly. However, if the combination of body+clothes will be too long, it's okay to add a seperate "Physical Description" for the clothes. In some cases, you may want to do this for weapons, too.

Looks most Like: <- If the Character was based off of another in appearance, the name of the base character is to be displayed here. This is optional, given not all characters are based on another.

The biggest flaw in the entire character sheet is the field “Looks most Like.” It doesn’t matter if it’s optional – it shouldn’t be an option at all. It should be a requirement that all characters be actually original, including appearance. Now, I can understand if a character is a literal clone (like, seriously made copy) of a character or is a twin that the characters would appear nearly identical.

However, that does not warrant this option. Those are very minor exceptions, and I would honestly advise against twins or clones in most role-plays, especially role-plays built from the Legend of Zelda fandom.

Having this as an option can be tempting to some people to be lazy and just make up a description based on someone else’s design. It’s not very creative or original.

Image: <- If you have an image of the Character, show it here. URLs only, please, as images themselves can be a bit large... This is also optional, provided that not all characters will have a picture.

Personality: <- Tells how the Character acts. Is he/she loving? A brute? Adventureous? Meek? How would he/she handle certain situations? We want to know.

Power(s): <- If the Character has 1 or more powers, tell what they are. This is optional, for not all characters have powers.

Upside to Power(s): <- If Power is listed, tell what good it does for the character or others around him/her. If the Character has no power, skip this.

Downside to Power(s): <- If Power is listed, tell what drawback or weakness to the powers. Long recharge time, does damage to the user, or even it may be only done so many times. Keep this in mind. If the Character has no power, skip this.

Strengths: <- Tell what things your character can do well. Maybe high jumping or just cooking extremely well.

Weaknesses: <- Tell what hurts your character other than what is obvious. Maybe your character is physically weak, or maybe he/she has no weapons?

History: <- Tell the history of your Character. This is what has happened in the Character's direct past. Please be descriptive.

Extra: <- If there's any other information you'd like to give, let it be said here. This is optional.

RPG Style: Is this for Zelda or Alternate RP?

It’s not bad, compared to other character sheets, but that doesn’t mean it’s good. It isn’t as thorough as it could be, for its main fandom, and has some key flaws. I’d probably rate it a 4/10. It would’ve fared better, if it weren’t for the “Looks most Like” option.

Character Sheet: Ryukenden

Apparently, Ryuu is big on role-playing and creating role-playing character sheets. His user-name is shared with his favorite Original Character, which has several variants.

I will be covering all the variants with Character Sheets, as well as the character as a fan fiction character. I will be correcting the spelling (with U.S. English spelling, as Ryuu is, as far as I am aware, from the United States) and commenting on logical errors. Corrections will be in this color.

(I will also use hover-text to show the original misspelling, if anyone cares.)

To preserve space, a Mary-Sue Litmus test will be conducted in a separate entry.

Today is the first incarnation: child Ryukenden. [From Nov 17 2005]

Name: Ryukenden (he doesn’t remember his last name)
Nick-Name: “Boy,” “Kid,” “Lad,” anything you want to call him, really.
Gender: Male
Age: 8 years(1), 2 years(2)

As a note to our readers who may not know, there are four different Ryukenden Atrineas character sheets in the thread this one comes from, not counting Dark Link (which Ryuu calls the “before” version of Ryukenden Atrineas) or the Wind Waker Ryo.

Therefore, I don’t understand why this particular character sheet has two histories in it. If he was already willing to make more than one Ryukenden character sheet, why couldn’t he make two kid Ryukendens, and make it easier to keep track of them?

Though, honestly, why one character has multiple character sheets and histories, I don’t understand. Yes, one could argue Link, from Legend of Zelda, but that would take a lot of time to argue and counter-argue. Instead, let’s cover that later, and get through this topic without making it longer than it really has to be (too late).

Height: 3'0"
Weight: 66 lbs.

While the weight for Ryuu is in the upper end of the eight-year-old age group, it is still within the average range. Additionally, it being on the higher end is more than explained because muscle weighs more than fat. (It is later explained that Ryukenden is somewhat more muscular than usual for a child.)

However, the height is not merely on the low end of the average range. It is far below the average. According to the average growth development for male children, Ryukenden is ten inches below the lowest average line. That is not to say it would be unheard of, but weight hangs differently on a person depending on build and height. With this height and weight, the child Ryukenden would very likely appear pudgier than I think Ryuu intended.

Physical Description (body): Ryo is a cute little boy who can’t ever seem to hide his emotions even if he tries. His large, midnight blue eyes give it away. His white eyebrows along with the sparkle of his eyes are so adorable and expressive. His hair is blazing white with shadows of yellow and orange as if it was made of pure intense flames. It rolls down the middle of his back, while his bangs end at the bottom of his jaw. Hair also flows out in front of his ears, ending at the middle of his chest. His skin is overall darker than other peoples’ skin, but nowhere near as dark as a Gerudo’s. Ryo just seems to have a “natural tan.” His skin is very soft as well. His torso is small, but not smaller than normal; He’s just a little kid. He has a little bit of muscle compared to most kids, which even he is confused about. His legs and arms are smooth and strong - for a kid, at least. His hands and feet are larger than normal, and his ears are longer than normal. For this, kids often say he’s a kind of “freak.”

The appearance of a character is important to establish, but I feel immediate concern when adjectives like “cute” and “adorable” come up almost immediately to describe him. It also seems to clash with other kids calling him a freak, because his ears, hands, and feet are over-sized. That isn’t to say he couldn’t be an adorable kid, but it has a conflicting tone, nevertheless.

(There’s an issue with the hair being described as intense flames, but that is not entirely an error in character composition, so it will be covered in another post.)

Physical Description (apparel)(1): He wears a long, red, pointed hat on his head that extends to his bottom. He has a beaten up red tunic with a brown belt and golden buckle. The belt has a small sheath on his right hip. He has loose, old, clumsy brown boots that he’s only recently mastered to run in.

Physical Description (apparel)(2): Shirtless, Ryo has only a pair of white pants that are held on by a black belt. He wears golden Goron Bracelets on each wrist. He has no shoes.

Physical Description (apparel)(3): He wears a black tunic over his body. It fits with his tanned skin. The tunic itself looks like it’s been through a lot of adventures, but it’s just because he gets dirty often. He washes it, though. The tunic looks similar to Link’s TP tunic, but black and small. He also wears child-sized form-fitting black boots. These are much like TP Link’s boots, but black and small. He wears a Goron Bracelet on each wrist for strength. Most times he has a black long cap too, but he doesn’t wear it often.

First, I do think it is somewhat cumbersome for the character sheet to have three different descriptions for outfits. Clothing does not seem so important that it warrants this much attention.

Aside from that, there are questions not answered by the history that are raised by the descriptions. In the first description, it mentions a sheath – presumably for his weapon that was not mentioned in the history. Where did it come from?

Actually, this begs the question, how does an eight-year-old get this sort of equipment and apparel? The red tunic was the only thing explained. A hat is not a necessity, so why does he have one, and where did he get it?

As for the second description – why does he have Goron Bracelets? The Gorons are not typically the most open to outsiders. Link was given his Goron Bracelets in return for cheering up Darunia, despite Darunia’s claim (out of his Goron Pride) otherwise.

Furthermore, I am going to have to point out that using phrases like, “The tunic looks similar to Link’s TP tunic,” and, “These are much like TP Link’s boots,” shows a lack of originality and a lack of ability to properly describe what a tunic is supposed to look like. Overall, it’s not really advisable to say, “It looks just like [something belonging to X character], but [change of color or statement of improved quality].”

It’s lazy and it certainly makes quite a few people roll their eyes.

Physical Description (weapons)(1): Though usually seen without a weapon, there are times Ryo is armed with a dagger. This dagger is simple - a silver hilt that looks like a normal broadsword’s hilt, the handle is wrapped in red leather for good grip. It has a short blade of steel. Nothing fancy, but don’t underestimate it. Red inscriptions line the middle of the blade and they tense to change color from red to orange to yellow and back to red... curious, no?

Physical Description (weapons)(2): Though usually seen without a weapon, there are times Ryo is armed with a small sword. It’s a starter’s sword, so it is small in size. The hilt is straight with a ball fixture at one end and a half-sphere on the other end. The handle is orange. The ball fixture is metal like steel and can be a good butt-end to bludgeon someone with. The other end, the half sphere cuts to the top, for a blade is fixed on it.

Neither of these weapons are covered by his histories. I don’t understand how Ryukenden came to have them, given that he is an impoverished child with no family to provide for him. Especially if one of them has a hilt made of silver. I may be mistaken, but dyed leather also sounds fancier than what one might call “nothing fancy.” And that’s even if we ignore the obviously magical inscriptions that Ryuu is trying too hard to make readers curious about.

(Tip: take out the “...curious, no?” part out. It sounds like you’re trying too hard to be interesting.)

I’m also confused if both Ryukendens with their two separate histories both have these weapons or if the numbers correspond to which one has which. I say that because there were three clothing appearances for the character, with no sign of which clothing goes to which character. It’s a little hard to keep track of, at times.

As another tip, some of the weapon descriptions for the second weapon are confusing to me. “The hilt is straight with a ball fixture at one end and a half-sphere on the other end.”

The hilt of a sword is the non-blade part of the sword – the guard, the grip (“handle”), and the pommel (the... “ball fixture”?). The other end goes to the blade. From refreshing myself with several sword diagrams, I thought maybe the half-circle was a rain guard (chappe), which was used to keep rain out of the scabbard, but I had a chat with Rinku about it, and he had this to say:

“If that's Little Ryo, I'm betting the half-sphere is supposed to be the guard, like with the sword Orca gave to Link. Which is a dumb description, because it's not a half sphere. [...] Yeah, he ripped off Link's sword. http://www.zeldawiki.org/File:Hero%27s_Sword.png (The art makes the guard look flat, but it is a circle 'round.)”

If perhaps a little more understandable sword terminology were used, it would be a little easier to understand what the sword was meant to look like. If it was a lack of knowledge about swords, then I highly recommend doing research on swords. It’s both fun and useful.

Looks most Like: Young Link, but with changes
Image: (New Image soon to come)

Again, regardless of the history, there is no reason to have a “Looks most Like” portion of a character sheet. Even if the character is a clone (like, literal clone, not just a character taken and changed), there’s no reason for this. If a character has similarities, it should be properly explained in the history and physical appearance of the character sheet.

Having this part of the character sheet, in some ways, also makes it easier to think it’s okay if one character is taken from other characters.

At “best,” the option is redundant. At worst, its uncreative bordering on theft.

Personality: He’s the shy, sensitive type. He’s cautious around people, especially adult men. He has mixed feelings about being by himself - He won’t have to worry about anyone trying to play a trick on him, but loneliness is never a good feeling. He wants a real friend at least... and a mother at most.

Power(s): He can blow fire out his mouth like a Flame-Thrower. He also has an amazing resistance to heat and fire.
Upside to Power(s): Fire has little to no effect on him and heated areas power him up. He can burn things that can catch fire and be a bit of a distance away from his target.
Downside to Power(s): Projectile fire is only available if he can breathe. His element of fire makes him sensitive to cold.

Strengths: Small and nimble, he’s hard to hit. Intense heat actually makes him heal faster and his fire-attack be stronger.
Weaknesses: He’s just a kid; kind of gullible and can tire out fairly easily. Cold and ice have bad effects on him much more quickly than it would a normal person.

His powers are somewhat explained by his second history, but they are not explained by his first history, at all. While magic exists in Hyrule, the average person doesn’t have it. Link didn’t get magic in Ocarina of Time, for example, until he talked to a Great Fairy – the same as in Majora’s Mask. In Adventure of Link (the second Zelda game, and the first to feature magic), Link was taught his spells by an elder.

Yet, little Ryukenden, in at least the first history (though, why a character needs two histories on one sheet is still a mystery to me), has no explanation for his presumably magical abilities.

History:(1) Ryo was a fine infant with his mother and father in the Hyrule Castle. His mother was a caring, loving mother with a beautiful and his father was a great knight for the Hylian Army. When Ganondorf struck, his dad was first to confront the threat, where he was never seen again. Ryo stayed close to his mother, but during the fray of a great battle, his mother was said to be killed, and Ryo presumed dead as well. He was but 3 years old, then. For five years Ryo has had to live among the ReDeads, Poes, and Deku Babas that litter the entire land of Hyrule.

While this is admittedly handy for setting up the time-line Ryukenden lives in, as far as Hyrule is concerned, it still has its problems.

I’m going to have to ask ‘How?’, because that sounds nigh impossible and ridiculous. Why were they in the fray of a battle? Was it a battle in the actual city? Did they look for the kid at all? Where did the kid go?

This raises more questions than it answers, while shattering a typical suspension of disbelief.

As an aside, the way it says that his father was first to confront Ganondorf/Ganondorf’s army (I presume one existed), it’s ambiguous. It could either mean he was in the front lines (which is noble), or was literally the first to confront him, which seems logically unlikely.

In the Lost woods, he found the Goron City and found a Goron Tunic that had shrunk, for it was made of a different material (which is actually tougher). The Gorons let him have it, and it’s the tunic he still wears to this day.

More questions arise, here. How did he get through the Lost Woods far enough? Why was there just an old shrunken tunic lying around for a kid to pick up?

Moreover, it seems tactless to say that Little Ryukenden just finds a shrunken Goron tunic that just happened to be child-Ryukenden-sized that just happens to be stronger than Link’s Goron Tunic.

I’ll also have to ask how long he’s been wearing it, since children actually grow out of clothes faster than adults do – due to the fact that they’re still growing.

He left the city and has wandered through Hyrule aimlessly. Unsure what the next day will bring, Ryo is but a lost boy who needs someone to love him...

His whereabouts are unknown.

History:(2) Seven years after Ganondorf had taken over Hyrule, the Hero of Time had come back to defeat the King of Evil. He explored through the dungeons and had defeated Phantom Ganon in the Forest Temple as well as Volvagia in the Fire Temple.

The Water Temple was next, but it proved perilous for Link. Water levels rising and lowering was a hassle and the whole place was littered with villainous beasts. Link was able to easily counter-act these creatures of the cursed dungeon, but there was one thing Link hadn’t counted on fighting... himself.

It seems to me that anyone who has played Ocarina of Time would know this much of the story. This information potentially bogs down the character sheet with unnecessary information. Yes, one could just scroll past it, but that doesn’t excuse poor composition.

When Link had entered the Water Temple, the source of the curse took notice of his arrival. This source, called Morpha, knew that if Link had gotten to it, it’d surely die. Morpha knew it wasn’t much capable of defending itself, for it relied on its magical powers to cause the will of Ganondorf to become true. In this thought, Morpha copied Link’s body with its mythical abilities. The copy was a complete and perfect copy of Link in every way except one... Though he had muscle, he had no strength. Though his heart was strong, it was silent. No air moved in his lungs. It was complete, yet lacking. The copy came into this world dead. To Morpha, this didn’t matter. It only needed two things from this creation... the essences of Anger and Hatred. These, it extracted with ease and formed them together in a more solid, yet phantom-like figure. This figure was Morpha’s plan to stop the Hero of Time from going any further.

Sometimes I can’t help but nitpick, and this is one of those times. Here it says “a perfect copy in every way except one,” and then it lists several things afterward. And if all the listed things mean anything but ‘it’s lacking,’ then I can’t figure it out. (Honestly, I can’t even figure out “one thing” it’s lacking, either.)

Link progressed through the Water Temple without serious affliction at first. The tables seemed to turn when he entered a room which seemed to be a grayish, hazy place that had a slight resemblance to outside Lake Hylia. He passed the single tree in the center and raced to a building that seemed like the fishing hut. The door wouldn’t open, no matter how hard Link pushed or pulled. Giving up on the door for now, he turned around to find a black figure leaning on the tree. This figure looked exactly like him, but all coal black - hair, clothes, skin, everything - except for the flaming red, demon eyes. The figure glanced at him with a smile capable of unsettling Twinrova. Before words could be spoken, it launched at Link and the two were engaged in combat quickly.

This seems like a long summary of a story, not the summary of a character’s history for a role-playing sheet. It has plenty of unnecessary details. Wouldn’t it be easier and more effective to summarize the fact that they fought?

Of course, this is another one of those parts of the game canon that most people should know. It could stand to be left out.

(I still don’t understand what he’s trying to say, when he wrote, “without serious effliction [sic].” I gather he means, though, that Link made it through the Water Temple without much trouble. I suggest a revision in word-choice.)

The records tell of the battle between Link and his dark self... but what of the body? The copy in which that dark form was made...? Morpha left him behind, seeing as he was useless to it. On this moment, the Goddesses of Hyrule - Din, Nayru and Farore - looked down upon him with pity. This lifeless body, this soulless man should have more than to be just a leftover to a sinister plan. It concerned Din, saddened Farore and broke Nayru’s heart to see such waste... an innocent person being created for the sole purpose of destroying another. Nayru was in tears as she had such pity for him. Farore also felt terrible that even a monster had no feelings. However sorry they felt, it was nothing compared to Din’s anger of these events. Ganondorf had gone too far. Din made a promise to Nayru and Farore that this one would live and be a directly-created man by their power. In essence, she promised them that this one would be their son. Nayru and Farore instantly agreed, but they had to wait until the essences that were taken had returned to the body.

I feel like I missed something. I know that Morpha apparently made a body, and somehow extracted emotions from it and made the phantom from that, but... I don’t understand why.

It seems overly complicated. Why couldn’t Morpha just use the body to fight Link? It seems like the convoluted plan is merely the by-product of a person who wants to have a reason for why his character is a copy of Link but still liked the idea of Dark Link being a spectral thing with no fleshy body too much to change it.

Then I have to question how the copy was seen as an individual person to the three goddesses. If it was an incomplete copy of Link, did it even have a soul to begin with? And if it did, how does Morpha have that ability? If it had that much power over the creation of the goddesses, it seems to me that Morpha would be, in some ways, more powerful than Ganondorf.

And why couldn’t they do anything with it until it had its essences of anger and hatred back? Wouldn’t it be a more powerful construct against evil if the Goddesses used what would constitute Dark Link’s opposite (everything BUT the only two things that make him).

Link bested his phantom, and the Dark Link form dissipated into nothing but the essences. They returned to their host and just as promised, the three Goddesses went to work, singing all the while.

I’m sorry, I just have to ask – why singing all the while? Is this a Disney Movie? Are we in the Emerald City of Oz?

I don’t mean to be rude about this, but that line sticks out a lot and I just have to ask why it’s there. It makes no logical sense, to me, to include that useless bit of information.

Taking him into their own hands, they lifted the copy into the air. Farore was first to give her gift to the man. She breathed into him the breath of life and pressed the center of his chest. By doing this, his breathing began and his heart pumped. With this action, the body became living. Nayru, then, blessed him knowledge and wisdom. He gained learning for basic living and survival... all one would need to get by. In a sense, she gave him the natural instincts any human would have. Din formed in her mighty hands a sphere of fire. Enveloping the man in these flames, he became infused with the element of fire. Power was given to him, for his muscles now carried strength in them. To finish their work of life, the trio focused their powers onto him, forming a new soul in which would inhabit this body as their son - the Child of the Triforce.

Did he not have a soul of his own? If he didn’t, then I have to ask, again, why it was necessary for the Goddesses to get so angry about the copy. Yes, it wasn’t exactly the most good thing to do with creation, but I find it hard to understand their motivation for caring so much about this.

Or is Ryuu’s excuse that we shouldn’t question the goddesses with human logic?

And if the body was dead, why was it necessary to bring it to life, anyway? It was a copy of Link – and Link is still alive. Actually, why was there no concern over Link? He was copied in his entirety – the essences of his emotions and all – with no harm done to him?

No, now I have another question. Why did it have emotions and no soul, if it didn’t have a soul? Of course, that all goes down into a big philosophical mess about what a soul is and where emotions come from, and that may be getting a little too nit-picky, but it’s hard for me not to nit-pick when I have absolutely no suspension of disbelief.

I also don’t understand why Din infused him with the element of fire as well as strength. It seems to me that strength would be enough, but whatever.

They knew their works for this one’s life was completed, but one should not go into the world as an exact copy of someone else. Each individual should have their own traits and unique appearance. This one would be no exception. They began to form him to their own desired form. The Hero of Time has a pleasing base, but one should not copy him, and for that they scolded Morpha’s lack of originality. Din stroked his hair gently and intense white, flaming locks overpowered the gold that was once there. Nayru brushed his face, deepening the blue of his shimmering eyes. Farore did not think color was enough, for she began to lengthen his ears and sharpen their form and their performance. Din saw Farore’s plans and began to do work of her own. She enlarged his hands and gave to them a grip which one would have to wrestle him to make him let go. She enlarged his feet for firmly standing his ground, endurance for long travels, a powerful kick, and great running. Nayru thought performance and power were nice, but he needed another kind of touch. She felt that it would not be good for him to be without a childhood, so still keeping the work of her sisters intact, she transformed the body of a man to a body of a cute little child. His hair became longer, down to the back of his shoulder blades. Having their work done, Din kissed the man’s left hand, leaving her symbol there to replace the hollow shadow of the Triforce of Courage.

Why would a “hollow shadow” of the Triforce of Courage remain? The copy never had the Triforce, so there’s no reason why it would have any “shadow” of it. And Why would Din need to give that mark (and give it with a kiss, no less) to cover it or replace it? They’re the three supreme Goddesses. If they wanted, they could merely make it vanish.

Now, I know they wanted to fix him and make him like their son, but I still don’t understand why, and I still don’t understand why Din put the extra attention into him over the other goddesses.

Ganondorf had nothing to do with this, the way the character sheet tells it. He just teamed up with Morpha. If Morpha had orders to create Dark Link, that would be something else, entirely, but it seems Ganondorf’s getting more of the blame than Morpha, if Din’s that mad about it (assuming Din is more critical of Ganondorf because he holds the Triforce of Power associated with Din).

Besides, it’s not as if he was created to be a champion against Ganondorf. Link is already chosen by destiny to fill that role, from what I know of the games.

Furthermore, if the goddesses wanted to make him more different beyond a few larger body parts and different colorations, they could have changed his appearance a lot more. They have that ability, obviously. It isn’t terribly creative only to change “enough” of Ryukenden to make him not exactly like Link.

They had also erased the memories of fighting Link as Dark Link. Such knowledge at this given time would only bring confusion and horror. Any knowledge of what had happened was gone except for dreams that occurred on occasional nights. Sadly enough, he also does not know of his origin in any way... this means he does not know that the Goddesses are technically his mothers... but he does know the name they had given him - Ryukenden, which means Dragon - He likes the shorter version, Ryo, which he refers to himself as to this day.

”Ryukenden” does not mean “Dragon,” and “Ryo” is not the short version of “Ryukenden.”

Furthermore, “Ryo” does not mean “Dragon,” either. For more information, see What’s in a Name?.

That having been said, it seems to defeat the purpose of having a character that is a reformed Dark Link, but then erase those memories. I know they could be terribly troubling for a child, but not everything in life is, or should be, sunshine and rainbows.

But the world was not safe for a new child just yet. Farore suggested that the boy be placed in the Kokiri Forest with the other children. After all, the curse there has already been broken by the Hero of Time. Nayru and Din agreed that this would be done. Before they did this, they summoned the Sage of Dreams - Tyria Solaris - to their heavens. They instructed her to take care of this child while he slept, for he will need a motherly touch to his life. Until his origin was revealed to him, Tyria would be his caretaker - a nanny, as it were. Tyria agreed without hesitation. With this taken care of, Farore gave a prophesying dream to the Deku Tree Sprout that the Son of the Goddesses would be among the Kokiri. After such a dream, they brought Ryo to the forest, leaving him in front of the Deku Tree Sprout. When Ryo awoke, his new life began.

If the world was not safe, then that leaves more questions for the non-goddess-child history of Ryukenden. I also question the logic of adding new sages, since the sages all seem to play a part in banishing Ganondorf. That’s why the sages of temples needed to be awoken in the actual game, unless I am mistaken.

Adding new sages leaves plot holes that would need a lot of explaining. It also serves to be one more thing that makes the character extra-super-special, as overpowered and unbelievable characters tend to be.

Extra:
Ryo loves to be in Tyria’s company. Because of this, he tends to sleep a lot.

RPG Style: Zelda RPG

Overall, the character sheet is a chore to read. It leaves many questions open that seem like they should be covered – like how he survived through his childhood, in the first history, for example.

The second history also seems like it has extra information or elaboration that isn’t necessary at all. For example, his changes placed in him by the goddesses could have been shortened by an easy summary.

Of course, the character also sounds like an overpowered Mary Sue, and seems to be literally breaking Ryuu-Atrineas’s own forum rule: “No god-like characters.”

The basic idea of a reformed Dark Link isn’t bad – it’s an idea I’ve seen done before that worked fairly well. An original take on it (or, as original as it could get) wouldn’t be bad, but this character has issues with the logic behind its creation.

It also takes away from the charm of being a reformed Dark Link by removing the memories of being Dark Link.

I rate this character a 2/10. I might’ve ranked it higher, if the character sheet wasn’t essentially two character sheets smashed into one.

Mary Sue Litmus Test: Ryukenden

This is the second part to the critique on Character Sheet: Ryukenden. Not all character sheet critiques will have a second part, because some of his character sheets are very obviously not sues (whether or not they’re good will be seen, but I doubt anyone can have so many character sheets and not have one that isn’t at least decent).

However, this is an important test to take, because I doubt I would be well-received if I just took out a big rubber stamp and stamped “SUE” all over this variant on such a beloved character. This will be a long post, because I am including the whole answer sheet for the 154 questions (not counting sub questions) that are applicable to Ryuu’s character. I do this so people can check my answers, which I will try to source and explain as best I can.

If I have missed a question I should have checked, or checked something I should not have, I encourage people to comment – WITH A REASONABLE ARGUMENT AND/OR SOURCES – to tell me, and I will very likely change it.

These posts will be slightly shorter in the future, because I will not include the above preface in future entries.

My comments on the questions are in this color, to match the X's.

Mary Sue Litmus Test (RPG Style): Ryukenden

Check my answers!

1. Is or does your character's name...
   
   
   • Your name, variation of your name, nickname, screenname, or any name that has been applied to you? (Spelling it differently or changing it a little counts.) Fic: RPG: X
     
     • Ryuu-Atrineas uses many variants of the name he gave his “prized” OC. He uses the name Ryuu-Atrineas on deviantArt and Zelda: Epic Journeys. He used Ryo on the Rayman Pirate Community forum, and he used Ryuu on Shadow Sage’s Lair, because Ryo (which he states is his usual user name) was already taken. On a few other forums, he has used the name Atrineas, his character’s last name.
   • A name you planned on giving one of your children?
   • Any ordinary name spelled or changed so that it's more unusual?
   • A boyish sounding name for a girl character?
   • Involve a noun or verb not usually used as a name, spelled normally or not?
   • If a noun, is it related to nature, a weapon, a gemstone, darkness, or something mystical?
   • Something that your character chose for him/herself?
   • Taken from a character from another fandom that you like?
   • A really unusual-sounding name (unusual in the character's time/place/world) that you made up yourself?
   • Unusual for your character's time, place, and/or ethnicity?
   • Japanese or Japanese-sounding, even though your character is not Japanese? X
     
     • See What’s in a Name? for full details.
   • Chosen specifically because you thought it had a meaning appropriate for your character? X
     
     • He points out in the character sheet, itself, that the name means “Dragon,” which is not entirely true, but he points it out. He also originally picked the name Ryo because an anime linked it to Wildfire (the name of the armor the character Ryo from Ronin Warriors wore). Quotes saying as much are posted in the What’s in a Name? post.
2. Is your character also known by a cool nickname or unique title/address?
   
   • More than one?
3. Did you base your character's looks on your own?
4. Does your character look how you wish you look?
5. Is your character described, illustrated, and/or shown as exceptionally beautiful, cute, or handsome?
   
   • Does anyone fight or squabble over your character because of his/her looks?
   • Is anyone (including you) jealous of your character's good looks?
   • Do any characters see his/her attractiveness as a threat?
6. Do other characters frequently tell your character how sexy or beautiful he/she is?
   
   • Does your character modestly deny it every time or refuses to believe that he/she is attractive?
7. Does your character have a great body/physique, which you describe, show, and/or illustrate in detail?
   
   • Despite the fact that his/her eating and/or exercising habits decree that he/she should be a stick/blimp?
   • Does your character weigh so little that he/she looks or should be anorexic, but isn't?
8. Do you use poetic and/or creative terms to describe your character?
9. Do you frequently describe your character's beautiful/handsome/cute attributes or point out how sexy your character is?
10. Conversely, do you go to great lengths describing how your character is not gorgeous?
11. Does your character's description contain anything to the effect of "He/she looks just like [other character/celebrity] except..." X
    
    • Not only does his character sheet directly have a field called “Looks most Like” (which he uses to state that his character looks like one of the main canon characters in the series), but his character’s history involved the goddesses giving his physical form minor changes, because he was originally an exact copy of Link.
12. Do other characters find your character extremely attractive and desirable, even when they should be completely gross and icky? (EG, after battling, getting tortured, going for days without bathing or washing.)
13. Does your character have any of the following?
    
    • Natural eye coloration that stands out from the norm?
    • Eyes with any other unusual qualities?
    • Natural hair color that stands out from the norm? X
      
      • Ryukenden’s hair is twice described as being white tinted with orange and yellow like intense flames. That constitutes a hair color that stands out from the norm, and it is naturally that color (even if one of the histories state the goddesses made it that way).
    • Unusual feature of any other kind? (Particularly unusual/exotic birthmark, tattoo, etc.) X
      
      • He has an orange mark of Din on his hand, which was kissed on there by the Goddess, herself. I’m not making this up. Go check the character sheet again if you don’t believe me.
14. Does your character have a particularly attractive scent that doesn't come from their perfume or shampoo?
15. Does your character have a scar or other small flaw that is noticed by someone, but does not actually detract from your character's appearance?
16. Has your character been in a lot of physical fights and/or battles, but doesn't have many noticeable scars to show for it?
17. Does your character have a particularly piercing (EG, "can stare straight into your soul"), haunting, captivating, or dazzling gaze?
18. Does your character's personal choice of clothing frequently include...
    
    • Clothing that you deliberately picked from your own wardrobe?
    • Clothing chosen because you really wished you owned it or could get away with wearing it in public?
    • Clothing chosen because it makes your character look super sexy and/or badass?
    • Clothing that is realistically impractical or improper for the character's situation, but looks cool?
19. Do you describe your character's clothing by the scene or stereotype it is most often associated with? - But ignore if this is because someone in the story is describing the character.
20. Is your character impervious to any of the normal limitations and/or weaknesses of his/her species?
21. Is your character partially or completely some type of metaphysical/spirit-type being?
    
    • I’m not checking this one, but it is debatable. Ryukenden was, at one time, Dark Link, which did not exist wholly in its own body. As a son of the Goddesses, as his character sheet (or, at least part of his character sheet) claims, it is also arguable if he can be all mere mortal flesh.
    • ...Like a succubus or incubus?
22. Is your character some other kind of cool humanoid with powers/abilities beyond human ability?
23. Is your character a cross-breed/hybrid of any kind?
    
    • In a universe where hybrids are very unusual?
    • A hybrid of more than two species?
    • Does he/she possess the strengths of both species, but none of the weaknesses?
    • Or does your character have all of the weaknesses, but none of the strengths? – Minus 4!
    • Is your character part something furry, yet shows no sign of being anything but human save for a furry tail, animal ears, fangs, and/or claws?
    • If not a cross-breed, then at least cross-cultural?
24. Does your character become a genetically, scientifically, cybernetically, or magically altered/enhanced being, possibly with new powers? X
    
    • Part of his history (or, at least one of his histories) directly involves being magically altered and enhanced by the goddesses, making his grip stronger, his legs faster, his appearance different, and all like that.
    • Is he/she happier this way?
      
      • I’m not checking this one, but this is arguable, as it was done to restore him, and his memory was erased so he wouldn’t remember his upsetting past. However, he can’t exactly be happier if he doesn’t remember.
    • Do people like him/her better this way?
      
      • Again, not checking this one, but given that the alternative is Dark Link – and, in his fanon, it would be his version of Dark Link – I think most people would. I prefer canon Dark Link, myself.
    • Do you wish it would happen to you?
    • Was your character kidnapped specifically for some type of experiment or project in order for this to happen?
25. Do think of your character as an ideal role-model?
26. Does your character voice political, social, and/or religious opinions which you share?
    
    • Does he/she convince others that his/her way of thinking is right?
27. Does your character have unusually free, enlightened, or "liberated" views on sex and romance for his/her time/place?
    
    • And does no-one frown upon your character's behaviors or views?
    • Or do only characters who don't matter disapprove, IE, the villain, local idiot, fusty old grandpa, etc?
28. If your character has a spitfire personality, sharp wit, or attitude, are the tongue-lashings they give other characters always deserved and justified?
29. If your character is openly defiant or disrespectful toward authority figures, is your character always justified and in the right?
30. Are any other actions that get your character into trouble with authority always justified from your point of view?
31. Do authority figures punish your character more harshly than they would have punished others under the same circumstances?
32. Do authority figures not punish your character when they probably would have punished others under the same circumstances?
33. Is your character easily provoked to violence - but only gets into fights with characters who truly deserve the beating they get?
34. Are The Rules of the universe bent or broken for your character? (Like joining a group despite being too old or too young.)
35. Does your character have any of the following psychological disorders?
    
    • Antisocial Personality Disorder - to explain your character's Jerkass Loner personality?
    • Split personality - so your character can do "bad" stuff, yet still have a claim to innocence?
    • Inability to form a solid intimate relationship - so he/she has an excuse to sleep with as many people as you want?
36. Is your character mainly driven by completely-justified revenge?
37. Does your character suffer from amnesia? X
    
    • In his character sheet, one the histories clearly states that the goddesses erased his memories of his battle with Link as Dark Link. (I tend to use the second, if you’ve noticed, because I’m not doing this quiz twice and the second history tends to match everything else written about other versions of Ryuu.)
    • If/when your character discovers his/her past, will he/she not like it? X
      
      • I’ll directly quote the character sheet, here: “They had also erased the memories of fighting Link as Dark Link. Such knowledge at this given time would only bring confusion and horror.”
    • And/or discover that he/she is actually someone of great importance?
38. Are animals instinctively attracted to your character?
39. How many animal companions does your character keep? (Ordinary, non-magical pets like cats and dogs do not count.)
    
    • Is said animal a wolf, bird of prey, big cat, or mythical creature?
40. Does your character habitually share profound wisdom and knowledge?
41. Does your character always have money to spend on frivolities or whatever he/she really wants or needs at the time?
    
    • For no apparent reason? (Character never works or gives any clue to any source of income.)
42. Did you choose your character's occupation and/or hobbies because you think they sound neat, glamorous, prestigious, or exciting?
43. Does your character share your favorite types of movies, music, clothes, etc?
44. Is your character unusually accomplished for his/her age, time period, place, occupation, and/or social status?
    
    • In something that is extremely desirable and/or useful in the story's universe?
    • In something that is extremely difficult for virtually anyone achieve?
    • Is your character unusually accomplished in more than one area?
45. Does your character pick up new skills unusually fast during the course of the story?
    
    • Like, insanely fast?
46. Is your character the best or among the best at anything he/she does? One box for each:
    
    • Is he/she famous/renowned for any of these?
47. Are other characters extremely impressed or astonished at your character's skills and/or virtues? (Does not count if they are easily impressed due to their own inexperience.)
    
    • Do they impress even the most cynical, jaded, exacting, and/or experienced?
    • Does your character modestly dismiss or deflect well-earned compliments?
48. Does your character have Barbie Doll syndrome?
49. Ah, the sound of music! Does your character...
    
    • Have an exceptionally beautiful singing voice?
    • Play a musical instrument very well?
    • Is this instrument a guitar, harp, or flute?
    • Can he/she charm others with his/her musical talent?
50. Does your character use magic in a typically non-magical universe?
51. Does your character fly in a typically groundbound universe?
    
    • Without wings or other apparent means?
52. Does your character have telepathic and/or telekinetic (Force-like) abilities in a world where this is unusual?
    
    • Do these powers allow your character to 'see' or just 'know things' without actually being there, allowing him or her to save the day?
    • Do they make up for a disability, such as being blind, deaf, or mute?
53. Does your character have a telepathic/empathic connection or the ability to communicate with any kind of animal?
    
    • Anything such as horses, wolves, big cats, or mythical creatures? - Bonded creatures do not count, so long as this is within a universe where this is perfectly normal and it is your character's one and only bonded creature.
54. Does your character have the ability to shapeshift? X
    
    • It does not appear to be willful in context, but Ryuu has changed his shape spontaneously. From an RP featuring young Ryukenden: Waves of Dark Energy wrap around Ryo, and his body takes a strange change. He's only a black schiloette and he seems to be forming into an adult body. He eyes light up red. When his change is complete, he looks like that of Dark Link!
55. Does your character possess unusual healing powers?
    
    • Strong enough to save a character from mortal injury and/or death?
56. Does your character possess power that can take out entire cities/legions of soldiers/general all-around-evil?
57. Does your character end up in a tight spot and discover that he/she has really cool powers that were dormant and/or unknown before?
    
    • Later, in the aforementioned RP, Ryuu is whisked away, healed, and restored as the adult form most people know him as. It is debatable whether any power discovered from that point on fits in this category. More discussion is needed before I check this one off. Consider it a compromise for checking off # 54.
58. Does your character have any other relatively unique special powers/abilities that come in handy? X
    
    • He breathes fire, as he repeatedly points out in various sources and character sheets. This is not a common power in Hyrule, and it is considered a useful power by his character sheet.
59. Not counting his or her first language, how many languages does your character fluently speak? Click one box for every language:
60. Does your character succeed at virtually everything he/she tries?
61. Do his/her initial plans, strategies, ideas, etc. always (or nearly always) work?
    
    • But only after everyone else dismisses it and tries everything else first?
62. On the other hand, if your character does bungle almost everything, is he/she quickly and easily forgiven for it?
63. Does your character ever single-handedly take out more armed forces (EG, security guards, soldiers) than you can count on one hand using his/her kick-butt skills?
64. Is anyone envious of your character's talents and/or abilities?
    
    • Because he/she constantly beats them at their own game/games?
65. Does your character alone have a weapon that...
    
    • Was passed down from a parent/trainer?
    • Was given by some kind of spirit/magical being?
    • Do you often mention that it belonged to someone beforehand?
    • Is magical? X
      
      • Descriptions of his weapon do tend towards the magical weapon route. To quote the character sheet: Red inscriptions line the middle of the blade and they tense to change color from red to orange to yellow and back to red...
    • Is unusually ornate?
    • Is from a different culture or country than your character?
66. Does your character use a sword-type weapon in a relatively modern setting for no logical reason?
67. Does your character frequently carry knives, daggers, or other little sharp pointy objects concealed within his/her clothing for no other reason than that they might be come in handy?
68. Does your character possess a unique trinket that is magical and/or has some special significance?
    
    • Does this trinket protect your character from some weakness?
69. Does your character have unfairly restrictive parents/guardians?
70. Alternatively, do your character's parents/guardians let him/her do whatever he/she wants and never really get in the way or ask too many questions?
71. Is your character nobility, closely related to a noble, or at least a rough equivalent? (President, governor, etc.) X
    
    • In his first history, he is the son of a Knight, not a mere soldier. While Knights are considered lesser nobility, knights are still noblemen. I’m not sure if Ryuu realizes that, however. In his second history, he is unknowingly adopted/fashioned by the three goddesses. I’ll run a little poll in the comments: Should godhood count as nobility? I tend to think it counts, myself. I’ll uncheck it if enough people complain. Note that this constitutes 3 checks, because he doesn’t know about his maternal creators and he wasn’t ORIGINALLY created as a deity, he was refashioned into one.
    • Nobility without knowing it? X
    • Adopted by or become a noble at any point? X
72. Is your character extremely popular or renowned where he/she comes from or frequents?
73. Is your character undeservingly despised and/or outcast by most people?
74. Because he/she is unusually talented/attractive/rich?
75. Because of his/her special powers?
76. Does your character manage to become friends with a villain, and through this friendship cause the villain to become reformed?
77. On the subject of your character and his/her family...
    
    • Was your character orphaned, abandoned, kicked out, or at least raised by a family/person that was not his/her own family?
      
      • Under normal circumstances, I would check this. However, it feels a bit skewed because of the two histories, and I have been using the second one. So, I’ll let this one slide. However, I want readers to note this, should I ever retake this quiz for the first history only. Also note that, with the first history, many of the below options apply.
    • Was a major villain responsible for the death of the parents or guardians?
    • Was your character responsible for the death of his/her parents/guardians?
    • Did your character witness the death of the parents/guardians?
    • Was he/she adopted by a cruel family or person?
    • Ran away at any point?
    • Raised him/herself?
    • Lived in the streets?
    • The very last or only survivor of anything?
    • Adopted by another species/racial group?
78. What about any of these?
    
    • Born/raised in extreme poverty?
    • Born/forced into slavery?
    • Banished from anywhere?
    • A member of a despised, outcast, and/or downtrodden race?
    • An illegitimate child?
    • The parent of an illegitimate child?
    • Abused?
    • Raped?
79. If your character lost her virginity unwillingly, does she find a way to restore it?
80. Has your character otherwise lost...
    
    • A child?
    • Lover?
    • Close friend?
81. Did anything else remarkably strange or otherwise unusual happen in your character's infancy?
82. If your character has a torment-ridden, pain-filled past, do you believe it excuses his/her actions?
83. If female, does your character have "rebellious princess syndrome?"
84. Does your character angst about something that he/she did in the past?
    
    • Death of a main character's family?
    • Death of his/her own family?
    • Does your character eventually learn that it wasn't his/her fault?
85. If female, does your character ever have to prove that she's just as good as the guys?
86. If your character is a villain...
    
    • Did he/she start out good?
    • Does he/she reform by the end of the story?
    • Does he/she reform because of act of kindness on the part of the hero?
87. Does a major villain have a personal fixation/obsession with your character?
    
    • For no apparent reason?
    • Something that has to do with your character's family, and not your character him/herself?
88. Is your character ever spared by an otherwise-ruthless villain?
    
    • Despite the fact that he/she has already done massive damage to the villain, the villain's troops, and/or stronghold?
    • Because the villain is attracted to your character?
89. Do you wish your character was real so you could be friends or lovers with him/her?
90. Do you imagine you are this character? - Skip if the only imagining you do is when you write the story.
91. Do you feel insulted, attacked, or defensive when someone does not like your character?
92. If people don't like your character, do you believe it's just because they don't "get" him or her?
93. Did you feel that this test insulted or attacked you or your character so far?
94. Is your character's name a variation, pun, or synonym of a canon character's name?
95. Do your introduce and/or describe your character on the first page? (Ignore if this is an RPG character.)
    
    • In minute detail?
    • On the first paragraph?
96. Does your character share a notable physical characteristic with a canon character, or at least have one that is remarkably similar? (Genetic resemblances do not count here.)
    
    • I’m leaning towards not checking this one – so I won’t, but I’d like to ask readers again: do you think it counts as genetic resemblance for Ryukenden (second history) to look like Link, considering he’s essentially a clone that has been altered?
97. Is your character basically a female version of a favorite male character?
98. Is your character of a species that is not normally found in the fandom for which you are writing?
99. Was your character trained in some art by or with a canon character?
100. Does your character share tastes or a hobby with a canon character?
101. Is your character just as good or even better at the jobs and/or skills of one or more canon characters? (EG, better hacker or smarter than the nerd character, better fighter than the tough character.)
     
     • For no apparent reason?
     • Does he/she have the talents, skills, and/or abilities of several canon characters combined?
102. Does your character...
     
     • Know something that only a canon character should know?
     • Do something that only a canon character should have done?
     • Was it something that changed said canon character originally?
103. If your character is the child of one or more canon characters, did he/she inherit any of the parents’ powers or talents?
     
     • Is he/she even better than the parents?
104. If the last question did not apply, does your character have a weapon or power that is just as good that of a canon character?
     
     • Is it, for all intents and purposes, almost just like a canon character's weapon or power, only better?
     • If not similar, does it just happen to be more powerful?
105. Does your character possess a weapon or artifact that is not normal in the universe he/she is in? (For example, a lightsaber in a Lord of the Rings story.)
106. Does your character carry around a trinket of some kind that's similar to and/or somehow relates to a canon character's previously-unique trinket?
107. Does your character end up saving the day and/or the life of another character?
     
     • Magically or mystically?
     • Does your character die in the process? (Any nasty irreversible thing, like getting sent to an inescapable dimension count, too.)
     • By almost dying?
     • Does everyone mourn the death of your character?
     • Is he/she revived by the end of the story?
     • Is he/she revived?
108. Does your character belong to the Resistance/Rebellion/Elite or any other special/elite group?
     
     • A member or child of someone in this class without knowing it?
     • Become a member at some point in the story?
     • Do they specifically join the hero's team/clique/crew?
109. Is your character closely related to a canon character?
     
     • The sibling?
     • The child?
     • The lost child/sibling?
     • The twin/clone?
     • Are the parents canon characters that seem very unlikely to get together?
     • Do other characters comment on or are amazed by how much your character looks like his/her canon relative?
     • If your character is not actually related, does he/she have other connections to the canon characters? X
       
       • I’m not fully comfortable with saying they’re related or Ryukenden is a clone (...in the genetic sense), even though they are genetically connected, so I’m willing to compromise for checking this one off, instead of a clone. I will change it if I get a good enough argument, however. Critics of my fairness should know that a clone adds four points, this option only adds one point. I’m being nice.
110. Is your character liked by all the canon characters you like?
     
     • Do they care for your character more than they care for their canon friends?
     • Would any canon character die for your character? (Unless, of course, said canon character would pretty much die for any casual friend/acquaintance.)
     • Even characters that are not known for their friendly, outgoing attitudes?
     • Do characters who criticize or don't like your character from the start like him/her by the end, or at least have a grudging respect?
     • Or does anyone who criticizes or doesn't like your character end up getting beaten up, humiliated, and/or dead?
111. Do other characters look up to your character?
     
     • As a leader?
     • Do canon leaders see your character as a threat because of this?
112. How many major characters fall for your character?
113. How many minor characters fall for your character?
114. How many major characters does your character fall for?
115. How many minor characters does your character fall for?
116. And...
     
     • Does your character become the boyfriend/girlfriend of a canon character?
     • Sleep with a canon character?
     • Or not sleep with a canon character because he/she 'isn't that kind'?
     • End up married to him/her?
     • Or give up this romance for some greater good/noble purpose?
     • Does the canon love interest break up with a previous love in order for any of this to happen?
     • Does your character fall for the characters that that you fall for?
117. Does your character make canon characters realize their romantic feelings for each other?
     
     • Did a 'something special' not exist at all until your character came along?
     • Does this romance contradict a character's previously-established sexual orientation?
118. Assuming your character has non-canon friends and/or peers somewhere, does he/she hang out with the canon characters more than his/her own friends or peers?
119. Does your character end up living with or especially close to any of the canon characters?
120. Is your character a 20th/21st century Earth citizen transported to another time/world?
121. If the above does not apply, is your character from another time, world, or reality?
     
     • Another published universe?
122. Is your character's history remarkably similar to the history of a canon character?
123. Is your character involved in a canon character’s past somehow?
     
     • In a way that was contradicts the original story?
124. Is the story told all or mostly from your character’s point of view?
125. When your character makes his/her first appearance, do most, if not all, the canon characters notice him/her right away?
     
     • Does this scene occur in a crowded place?
126. Do the adventures of your character mirror or closely resemble the adventures of any of the canon characters? - Ignore if this is because it happens to pretty much everyone in the canon.
127. Does your character save the canon characters from a situation or come up with a solution that they probably could have done by themselves in the original? (Admittedly, lead characters tend to be phenomenally lucky, but still...)
128. Does he/she solve the personal problems of any canon character?
129. Does your character tell off, beat up, humiliate, outdo, or kill a character to whom you would personally like to do the same?
130. At any point, does your character take over the job/position of a canon character?
     
     • Because it's a position that you think is interesting or fun?
     • Because you think that the character who already does this job isn't good enough?
     • Does your character take over this job permanently?
131. Does your character get kidnapped by the bad guys?
     
     • Do the canon characters immediately come to the rescue?
     • Does he/she rescue him/herself?
     • Was your character kidnapped for any special reason?
     • If an RP character played in a freestyle RP, have you tried this plot device with your character more than once during the story?
132. Does your character single-handedly accomplish what no-one has been able to do so far?
133. If you create your own ‘arc,’ storyline, or plot event...
     
     • Does your character know everything about what's going on?
     • ...While the canon characters know almost nothing at all?
     • Does it take place in another world, which your character is familiar with?
     • Is your character vital to the resolution of the arc/plot?
     • Does this plot/arc replace a canon storyline?
134. Do you plan on writing more stories about your character?
135. Do you plan on writing stories about your character's children?
136. Do you or have other players told you that you constantly try to bring the story's spotlight onto your character, or have your character do most of the heroic/cool stuff?
137. If your character is in a tight spot, do you give him/her a new gadget or ability so he/she can escape?
138. Do you ever poke fun at your character's faults/weaknesses and/or use them as plot devices?
139. Has your character ever been honestly selfish, petty, lazy, shallow, or pointlessly cruel?
140. Is your character really and honestly overweight, and stays overweight throughout the entire story? (A little bit of chubbiness does not count.)
141. Is your character honestly ugly, and stays ugly throughout the entire story?
142. Is your character out of shape, and stays out of shape for the entire story? (Not 'oh, man, I just don't think I can survive this triathlon,' but honestly, hinderingly wimpy?)
143. Is your character physically disabled, and has nothing to make up for it? (To quote Dr. Merlin, anyone who says "She's so pretty that it's like a disability because everyone hates her or wants to have sex with her" will be summarily keelhauled.)
144. Is he/she truly mentally disabled, IE, retarded, and has no powers because or despite of this?
145. Is your character human, 40+, and looks his/her age?
     
     • Older than 60?
146. Does your character have a truly debilitating phobia that does not mysteriously disappear at a crucial moment?
147. Has your character ever run away from anything simply because he/she was a coward?
148. If your character had a bad past with his/her parents, does he/she reconcile with them at any point?
149. Has your character ever been in a situation that he/she had no way of overcoming on his/her own?
     
     • Did he/she give up without trying?
     • Did he/she give up after failing?
     • If he/she eventually found a way of overcoming the problem, was it extremely difficult and/or took a really long time?
150. Does your character ever admit to being wrong, even if he/she doesn't really mean it?
151. Has your character ever ignored wrong-doings against him/herself and/or others because he/she simply didn't want to get into trouble?
152. If your character is a non-human, does he/she react in very non-human ways or in ways more appropriate to his/her species?
153. If your character is vampire, is he/she...
     
     • a. A mindless killer?
     • Maybe not mindless, but has no significant moral or emotional issues with killing/murder?
     • Unable to have sex?
     • Unattractive?
     • Unable to overcome his/her dependence on blood?
154. Do you view your characters more like tools than friends/children?

Final Score: 42

36+ Fanfiction authors, you might just want to start over. Role-players and original fiction authors, at this point your characters are likely to provoke eye-rolling and exclamations of "yeah, right!" from your readers. (Well, at least from me.) Immediate workover is probably in order.