Ryo in Denial PT 3

Ryo in Denial

Artwork, PT 3

                It is your favorite corset-wearing, self-describing, name-misspelling, Draco-fucking Goffic Gurrrrl Ebony Dark’ness Demensia Raven Way here bringing you the third and final “Ryo in Denial” article surrounding the analysis of his artwork (if that’s what they call it these days.) Because all amazing things come in threes! The Lord of the Rings movies, for instance! Or the three stooges! And the three weeks before your next period! Ahhh, the best three weeks in the world… unless you’ve been having unprotected sex. But that’s your own fault. ;) Use a condom ladies and gentlemen.

Seriously though, this is it for his artwork. Why? Because there’s only so much of looking at this shit I as even an insane woman can take. Does that mean it’s the final Ryo in Denial article you’ll see from me ever? Pffft you should be so lucky!! There’ll be plenty more in the Ryo in Denial series, just not focusing on his artwork anymore. Is there anything else I can really analyze? Ohhhh, you’d be surprise.

In this article, I’ll be re-emphasizing Ryo’s obsession with men through looking at pictures involving… mostly women? Because no matter WHAT Ryo is drawing, it has to be based on Ryuu, so even when he draws women, he has to have them somehow obsessing over Ryuu. Ryo is the kind of guy who’s so obsessed with Ryuu, who is his self-personification of perfection; he can’t even FATHOM the idea of women doing something that’s unrelated to him. Ryuu is like the creepy Facebook stalker guy who won’t go away no matter how many threatening messages your boyfriend sends to him. Seriously.

Now this first image is going to be of Ryuu mostly, but I’m not going to be focusing on him. I’ll be focusing on Zelda who’s reduced in this picture to a shallow shell of a background character. To any fellow Goths who may or may not be reading this I apologize in advance for any poked out eyes you might get by facepalming and forgetting to take your finger armor off first.  I did that once. It got better though.

Yeah, feel sorry for me. I dug through 26 pages of KILL ME NOW material to find this.

Okay… have to be honest. First thing that came to my mind when I saw this?

I'm too sexy for real arms, too sexy for real arms...

But for once besides that I’m going to completely ignore Ryuu’s horrible anatomy. BECAUSE ZELDA’S IS MUCH WORSE. I mean, look at her! Look at what Ryo’s reduced her to! Zelda, the now-queen of all Hyrule reduced to a babbling fangirl! Ryo, have you no goddamn shame? Here’s a tip for you: VERY FEW women would actually babble over a man working out. That’s a female stereotype that NEEDS TO BE DESTROYED. And the few women who do are either easily impressed by stuff or are faking it to make the guy feel better for… whatever reason. Usually it’s to get them to buy them something or do work around their house for free because “Oh, only a big, strong, handsome guy like you could possibly clean out my chimney for me… <3” See? Not that hard Ryuu. And look at her face. I’ve seen better weeaboo faces drawn by 12 year olds!  

And why the fuck is she making cat noises? Ryo, you are one sick fuckin’ puppy.

So Ryo implies that Ryuu’s strength alone turns grown women who rule an entire country into 12 year old cat fangirls. Ryo, do you even know how women work? So what Ryuu’s strong, does he have any personality that Zelda would like? Does he actually do shit for her except flexing and curling 95 pounds (which is an extremely wimpy amount considering Ryuu’s built like a small mountain. More on this later.) Women aren’t just attracted to ridiculously strong guys, they like men who have personality. And no, Ryo, “buff” isn’t a personality type.

So far all we’ve seen of Ryuu is him being strong and covered in muscles. Oh, and infantilizing the queen while also sexualizing her. And also having some SERIOUS control/anger management issues.

Don’t piss off King Ryuu unless you’re willing to pay an interior decorator to cover up smashed walls...

Seriously? What’s likeable about this man? He rules over Zelda with an iron fist, tackling her in public and making her make out with him in front of people even though she’s the queen, killing off entire species because they inconvenienced him somehow, throwing mentally ill men into dungeons for defying him rather than actually helping them and forcing their wives to see their husbands shackled behind bars… REALLY? THIS DOES NOT SOUND LIKE A LIKEABLE GUY.

Is it possession or is it schizophrenia? LOL WHO CARES OFF TO THE DUNGEON WITH YOU!!

Except this is Ryo’s self-insert. He can’t rationalize that he can be wrong or do wrong things, and he’s completely obsessed with this idea of muscley, brutish perfection. He’s SO obsessed with this idea, in fact, that nothing, NOTHING happens in Hyrule without the king being involved somehow. The queen doesn’t rule the country on her own, she’s merely a figure to please the king and make him look better in the eyes of the people. A poster child or mascot if you will. Even though RYUU WOULDN’T BE KING WITHOUT HER. But that doesn’t matter because he’s a “Deity” and Zelda worships him as a god. YES. HE’S SAID THAT. TO BE ELABORATED ON IN ANOTHER ARTICLE. Ryuu solves all the world’s problems, there are no other heroes. This world, like Ryo’s mind and possibly heart, is completely infatuated with Ryuu’s godlike perfection. Nobody can dislike him, and if they do it’s because they’re trolls haters VERY BAD PEOPLE OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!!!!!!

Let’s look at the artist comments. *sigh* I’m getting too old for this…

“Simple as the title, this is Ryo working out.”

No shit.

“Now, you might think, 95 lbs.? A bit light for Ryo, isn't it? Well, let me say this - My dad is a very strong guy, and he lifts with 45 lbs. on that particular excersise.[sic] (He can leg-press 715 lbs, btw) I do 27.5 lbs. on that excersie.[sic] So, Ryo doing TWICE what my dad does, PLUS 5, makes him VERY strong. Now, whether Ryo's working here or if that's his warm up? I can't honestly say. You think what you want.”

Let me give you an insight on Ryo: The only person he worships more than himself or his self-insert is his father. His father rules the house with an iron fist and any, and I mean this, ANY opinions Ryo has come from his father. If Ryo wasn’t told what to think about something, he goes and asks what he should think. Once his father tells him, that’s what he thinks of said situation. He still lives with his father (I’m assuming that his father hasn’t given him permission to leave the house yet) and he still obeys every single order his father gives him without question.

And this is going to be forced onto his children if we’re unlucky enough that he has any. Fuck, he’s already brainwashed poor serenity here as Cala already pointed out:

(“Stay close to your father's path. I will lead you through the fields where the sun shines bright and all is calm.” Where I will protect you from knowledge and figuring out what a sexist pig I really am. Where I will force you to have the child if you are ever impregnated by a rapist, and if you’re really lucky I may find him and force you to marry him. Praise the lord, your father.)

And because he ignores what the squid tells him…

… Like that, it’s guaranteed that Ryuu will not see the error in his ways.

Now it’s no secret Ryo’s pretty much a fundamentalist “Christian.” (In quotation marks because I wouldn’t consider Ryo a Christian by any definition.) It’s also common knowledge that Ryo’s been taught nothing but the same bullcrap people were taught in medieval times because anything else besides this is blasphemy. What does this have to do with the way he worships his father and expects Serenity to worship hers, you ask?

Everything. Absolutely everything.

You see, back then, the domestic household was not run by the adults. It was run by the man. They had this really weird, Christianity-based hierarchy that pretty much went like this: God ruled man, telling man how to work and to bring their families into the light of god. Then, man ruled woman, keeping his house under control and ruling the domestic sphere with an iron fist (yes, I said that to describe Ryo’s dad. Wink wink.) Then, woman ordered children and kept the domestic sphere to the man’s standards and liking, insuring the children grew up in the name of god and that man would have a safe place to return to unwind from working. So basically, Man was God’s servant, Woman was Man’s servant and Children obeyed their mothers.

Now since Ryo’s family is still ruled like a family in the medieval ages, we can only assume that they follow the same hierarchy. They failed to realize, during the thousands of generations that have passed since then, that the Catholic Church was the only Christian church at the time and as a result, could get away with murder if they wanted and had the public under their complete control. They were corrupt to a point we in this day and age can’t even begin to comprehend.  They’d rape, steal, even kill and then tell the public “it’s okay! It was in the will of God!” Some argue that the formation of the Anglican Church was the best thing to happen to the Catholic Church as it kind of forced them to straighten up and fly right. But the fact is, Ryo still, it seems, believes only the teachings of the very old, very corrupt church, because that’s what his father decided to shove down his throat.

Does that scare you? Good. It should.

Now why, if Ryo worships his dad as the next step up to god, does Ryo DARE to make his character of Ryuu better than his father? We looked at the domestic beliefs of the medieval period but not the beliefs of royalty. See, there was yet another hierarchy that was no confined to the domestic sphere but rather the entire world. This hierarchy was like this: God was served by King, King was served by men, men were served by women and women were the keepers of the domestic spheres. Basically a King served the same position as the pope this day does: They were the men chosen by god to rule over the land and speak on his behalf as to what he wants men to do for him. The pope, back then, was only an advisor, a translator if you will, to the word of god.

So King = next step down from god. Ryuu = child of the triforce goddesses. See a connection?

Moving on. The more squeamish and easily frightened of you who want to stop thinking about Ryo’s fucked up beliefs, you can thank me later.

“And yeah, Zelly's fangirling in the back. x3”

Since I already talked about how disgusting this notion is, I won’t rehash it.

So I know what you’re about to say. “Eebfgfy Dwe’ewgw Dewgyfefiiiiiiiiiii Rwegfp Wwayy…”

                “… Why haven’t you described what you’re wearing yet?” Well my little Gothlings… Because I’m just wearing a plain black dress today. Why? Do you people have ANY idea how much effort it takes to put on all those awesome clothes? It takes hours and after they’re on you have to walk around Hogwarts in stifling materials such as PVC and Vinyl. And corsets? They’re SO HARD TO BREATH IN. And so hot. Sooo sooo hot. And what’s the point if I’m just sitting here by myself with my magic quill and parchment that sends everything I write to another piece of parchment I gave to a muggle friend of mine so she can re-type it onto her computer? (No, we don’t have internet at Hogwarts. Or computers. Or any technology since the medieval ages.)

But you’re ALSO asking me “Why is this picture a big deal? Of COURSE the picture is going to center around Ryuu, because that’s who the picture is about! I mean, it’d be a big deal if the picture was about women and it was centered around Ryuu, but he hasn’t done that yet, has he?” Well, nonbelievers, what if I backed up what I said with exactly that?! Huh? What? What was that?

Yeah.

In fact, to your amazement (I’m sure) I have not just one, but TWO examples of this. It’s a series by Ryo called “Girl’s Room.” (Because the absolute WORST BEST things from Ryo MUST come in multiples!!) Basically it’s a series of two drawings portraying his shitty rip off completely original female characters in what he describes as an “apartment” doing normal things while living together. Everyone from Zelda (who even though is a queen apparently can’t afford to live in her castle, nor can Ryo trust her to live alone or with men other than Ryuu!) to his shitty Sheik rip-off original Sheikah character of “eye” (because of the eye on her chest, clever, yes?) to his shitty midna rip off original imp character to his shitty Nabooru rip off Original Gerudo character to his shitty Iris from Mega Man rip off Original robot character to his shitty Rei Ayanami rip off original sci-fi character of Crosshair are all living together.

Yes, not only are two of those characters not stolen from inspired by Legend of Zelda, but they also belong in what I would hope are COMPLETELY SEPARATE universes from his shitty fanfic of his own life because it sucks so much Legend of Zelda. Because you know, it wouldn’t make sense to have robots and spaceship fleet commandos in a FUCKING MEDIEVAL SETTING. (There’s even a fridge and a computer in this fucking series. Not even joking. But there’s no TV, because TV would be a way of learning and learning sends you straight to hell!)

But the most DISTURBING thing about these images? Ryuu’s in them. No, he’s not in in them, but his face is plastered all over the place and the setting is drenched with the stench of male dominance domestic abuse creepy stalkers HYRULE’S GREATEST DEITY. BECAUSE THE WOMEN ALL LOVE HIM. BECAUSE NOT LOVING HIM IS NOT ALLOWED IN RYO’S WORLD. Ryuu is the next step down from the goddesses, if a woman didn’t worship the very stuff he shits out on a regular basis she’d be disobeying the goddesses and wind up in Hell! Why is this? Because Ryo’s grown up in a male dominated household where disobeying their king (his daddy) is completely out of the question. His father doesn’t want his daughter ever leaving the house? His daughter doesn’t leave the house. His father doesn’t want Ryo to treat gays and minorities like people? Ryo doesn’t treat gays or minorities like people. His father demands his wife strip for him and lay down to be fucked? His wife strips for him and lies down to be fucked, regardless of whether or NOT she wants to be fucked. Why? Because that’s ALL SHE’S ALLOWED TO DO. DISOBEYING THE MAN IS A SIN, AND SINNERS GO TO HELL.

Did that scare you? Good. That should have.

Anyways, moving away from disturbing territory and.. Into even more disturbing territory. (Ugh, why do I do this to myself?) Here’s the first image in the series.

Seriously? This is what he thinks ALL women do in their spare time?

Let’s get the dumb shit out of the way first: Yes, the robot’s going through the fridge. Why? Because “Fuck you. Signed, Ryo” that’s why. And have you ever tried sleeping the way Rei is? First off, if that’s a beanie chair I don’t know WHY she’s grabbing part of it because it won’t stop her from falling. Secondly, her neck is going to KILL her when she wakes up. Protip, Ryo, women don’t sleep like that. Why? Same reason men don’t: Necks don’t work like that. And why is Eye doing stretches? No, seriously, think about it. It’s it a bit of a dumb idea that Eye is just –randomly- doing stretches? Is she about to run a marathon? Exercise? Go try to join the circus as a contortionist? No, because that’d be interesting, and according to Ryo, women aren’t interesting, nor do they do interesting things. They’re just boring, silly little things that are pretty to look at and easily amused by the things men show them because without men to court them they’d be stuck in their father’s basement where he’s kept her locked away from the sun for 19 years. (At least, that’s what Ryo’s dad’s doing.)

So my main point? That Ryuu poster. Because the girls have Ryuu on a poster in their apartment. Why? Why would you have a poster of someone in your room? Well, as a person with lots of posters in my dorm room at Hogwarts, it’s because I think they look nice. I have some Avril Lavigne posters, some Nightwish posters, some NIN posters, some Evanescence posters and, er….

… Confession time.

I have this poster in my room. Right next to my bed. I make out with it sometimes.

The definition of sexy.

But this isn’t…. quite how Ryo thinks of it. In Ryo’s mind, girls only have posters of men in their bedrooms. Men they’re attracted to. Men they’re obsessed with. Men they fantasize about being with. Kind of like dumbass Bieber fangirls nowadays, only instead of little girls they’re all grown up, and instead of a particularly ugly and untalented little girl, they’re full grown men in the posters. Ryo thinks this because he’s a sexist pig and if he has a sister I’m sure her father’s forced her into doing just this because he thinks it’s safer for her to fantasize about pictures of men rather than actually come into contact with a real one out in the wild where freedom of speech and information is treasured.

So, given Ryo’s sexist chauvinism and his inability to know how girls ACTUALLY work, him having Ryuu on a poster in the women’s room is sending a very, very clear and disturbing message: These chicks are OBSESSED with Ryuu. Even when Zelda’s living away from Ryuu, she’s never really allowed to live without Ryuu. That would be blasphemy! A woman living without her master husband? A woman having power without her husband? NEVER. And that goes for all the other women too! NONE of the women seem to have a problem with pictures of Ryuu in their apartment. Normally would they? I know if any of my dorm mates tried to put posters of their husbands everywhere I’d get a little annoyed. Or worried that they’ve been brainwashed into worshiping a man. But Ryo doesn’t like the idea of women not worshiping him, so he can’t construe the idea of the other women not worshiping Ryuu, hence why he makes an appearance in EVERY room of this apartment.

Artist’s description time for the first image:

“Here's a picture of a concept that I've had for a little while. The hero girls in an apartment, the hero boys in another apartment and the villains in a third one. This is part 1 of the Girls' room.”

He never made the other two series. God says you’re welcome.

“What do attractive, heroic women do in an apartment building? Some may say that they'd be like those soap operas where they're all in their lace underwear playing those games like truth or dare or gossiping.”

Ryo… Have you ever watched a soap opera? Because I haven’t. I can’t fucking STAND the notion of the soap opera. Why? BECAUSE OF SHIT LIKE THAT. While I’m sure a lot more goes on in the general soap opera than what you’ve described (like the whole people dying and coming back bit, the whole cheating spree every couple seems necessary to go on and the fact that mothers look as young or even younger than their daughters, perky tits and all) but the fact that you’re using what is probably the MOST sexist genre of television (asides from pornography) as a GUIDE as to how women behave when living together?! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! Just when I thought your sexism couldn’t get ANY worse…

Moving. On.

“These girls? Joy's in the freezer getting a snack for someone,”

So THAT’S what the robot is doing in the fridge: Getting food for someone else. You might say “Good save, Ryo.” Except you’ve just proven my sexism theory two-fold: A.) Women don’t eat, because women get fat if they eat, so it’s up to the men (Ryo) to make sure they don’t eat too much lest they get fat and their fuckability rating goes down. And B.) Women ALWAYS cater to other people. You want a snack? Ask a woman. You want your room cleaned? Ask a woman. You want a blow job? Ask a woman. And if she says no? FORCE a woman. Because fuck, THAT’S WHAT THEY’RE THERE FOR, EH? RYO? YOU FUCKING PIG?

“Eye is doing her stretches”

WHY?!

“and Crosshair is taking a nap - all in full attire.”

OH MY GOD SACRELIGIOUS! HOW DARE SHE?! How DARE Crosshair sleep in her clothes when she should be sleeping in skimpy lingerie?! Because it’s IMPROPER to wear your clothes when taking even a nap!! Same goes with the others!! Yes, even the robot!!

             But you’re asking “Edoby Derknass’ Dinemsia Rabben Vay, if he was a pervert, why is he refusing to draw them in their underwear?!” Same reason why he refuses to draw Ryuu a penis: because he wants to play the role of being a chaste bible-thumper. I should note though, that this is an older picture. His shyness around drawing women in skimpy outfits has pretty much disappeared at this point. His shyness of the penis, on the other hand, hasn’t.

His stripper gerudo character is a good example. He’s not shy sexploiting the fuck out of her, now, is he?

And here’s Malon. He’s even dabbled into the dark arts of pedophilia with this one.

Nope, not shy about scantily clad women, not at all. But that’s because that’s what women do in Ryo’s world. Men on the other hand? If they’re naked and they’re not in the shower or banging a chick or extremely muscley, they are homosexuals. (Yes, I can see the irony in that statement too.) Because it’s a WOMANS job to turn the MAN on with her body, not the other way around. Because that would mean women have a sex drive, which has been 100% scientifically proven to be untrue (God himself told Ryo’s family that) and men would be catering to this “sex drive” (Which doesn’t exist, we swear!!) and THAT would effeminate the man, which is a SUPER BIG NO-NO IN RYO WORLD!!

Moving on.

“Notice that poster on the wall... someone reads Hyrule Hero Magazine.”

Okay, so just in case you didn’t notice the obnoxious Ryuu poster, Ryo’s TELLING you to notice it.  And RYUU HAS HIS OWN MAGAZINE. Because being a giant muscley sonova bitch Goddess (or two) is enough to get you a magazine where GIRLS ALL OVER HYRULE WILL BE FAWNING OVER YOUR IMAGE. BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, THAT’S WHAT US GIRLS DO. WORSHIP FAKE GUYS IN A MAGAZINE ALL DAY.

I’d much rather a Spiderman comic.

I find this particularly disturbing: Ryuu and Zelda are married, right? So why the fuck is Ryuu trying to get worship from other women? Is one woman worshiping the very ground he steps upon not enough? Apparently not to Ryo. Ryo’s not satisfied if there’s even so much as ONE person not kissing his Ryuu’s ass. That’s how Ryo’s ego works. Example? I’ve been informed by the others that a former fan of Ryo’s had emailed us. I’m not in full knowledge of the situation, but I’m told that she’s shed some light on the subject of how Ryo treats his fans. Another member of the blog has asked to deal with this delicate situation themselves, so I don’t know much more than that. I’ve been told, however, that in the email the person said they were “shocked and horrified” by what they had seen of Ryo. That’s… saying quite a bit right there.

Moving on.

“Here you go, guys! Girl art! More to come!”

                Oh no Ryo, you don’t have to go through all that trouble for us. You shouldn’t have!

                No, you REALLY shouldn’t have… fuck. He did.

Because everything deserves a sequel…. Except, uh, this.

                So, breakdown of ridiculous things, like I did for the first one: Zelda is, once again, reduced to a teenie bopper fangirl, looking at a magazine worshipping her husband. Or skimming through it. Can’t tell through the shitty angle of the magazine. It almost looks like she’s either trying to hide the fact that she’s looking at Ryuu porn (also emphasized by the blushing on her face) or she’s rolling it to smack someone across the head. Hopefully Ryo. And also, why the fuck is Stripperella Rebé on a computer? Isn’t this supposed to be a medieval setting? Or is this fucking “Whose Line is it Anyway” where everything’s made up and continuity doesn’t matter?

Continuity is like women’s rights, it never mattered to Ryo.

                Anyways, moving forward to the comments.

“Part 2 of the Girl's Apartment. This is one of the bedrooms, obviously. And yes, there's definately[sic] more than one.”

Why, Ryo? Are you afraid the women will turn lesbian if they’re permitted to sleep with another person who has a vagina?

“In this one, we see Zelda reading a Hyrule Hero magazine,

Like a good, obedient wifeservant should, right?

“Rebé's at a computer”

WHICH SHOULDN’T EXIST IN A MEDIEVAL SETTING!!!!!!!

“and Di's playing with dolls.”

….All I have to say about his Midna rip-off? He didn’t even try. HE DIDN’T. EVEN. TRY. He took Midna, gave her a different name and turned her into a CHILD. (Because if you’re not sexy suddenly he’d be a pedo to give her an adult personality, but if you’re sexy like Malon, now that’s TOTALLY different… Fucking fuck sakes.) So not only did you (figuratively) infantilize Zelda, but you (literally) did it to Midna too? GAWD!!!

So she’s playing with dolls, because that’s what ALL female children do. No, female children don’t play video games, or watch TV, or read, or draw or do ANYTHING outside of stereotypical girl games because THOSE activities are for BOYS.

Moving on…

“Hmm... that poster's a little familiar...?”

                Yeah, because you shove your obnoxious self-insert’s face in everything, how can it NOT be familiar by now? And…

…. And…. And you….

…. You…

…….. WHAT DID YOU DO?!

WHAT

DID

YOU

DO?!?!?!?!?!

YOU RIPPED OF THE ACE ATTOURNEY SERIES WITH YOUR SHITTY FANCHARACTER!!!

OUT OF ALL THE WORST THINGS THAT COULD HAPPEN, THIS IS…

WHYYYY?! WHYY-YYY-YYYYYYY?!?!”

A series FAMED and CHERISHED for having quite possibly the most colorful characters and amazing stories and you DESTROYED THAT WITH YOUR SHITTY CHARACTER!!!! You didn’t even do the title right!!! (It always includes a silhouette of the main character AND the character’s name comes FIRST!!!!!) AND YOU RIPPED OFF EVERYTHING FROM HIS POSE TO HIS CLOTHES!!! Way to steal Klavier Gavin’s necklace symbol you asshole!!! And for someone who likes to steal poses, you COULD NOT EVEN GET THE ICONIC “OBJECTION” FINGER POINT RIGHT?! HE LOOKS MORE LIKE HE’S TRYING TO PINCH A PHOTO OF SOMEONE’S HEAD THAN POINTING AT SOMEONE!!

Yeah, like that.

God DAMN it Ryo!!!!!! Ugh… MOVING ON.

“Browny[sic] Points for those who can see another game cameo in this image. Hint: It's not Di's dolls.”

… Cameo, Ryuu? Here, let me fix that sentence for you: “Can anyone figure out which OTHER series I ripped off in this picture? Hint, it’s not Di’s dolls, I ALREADY ripped off Zelda!! =D” THERE YOU GO. And have you even PLAYED F-Zero?! Huh?! Or did you just think “well, the planes are kind of awesome and it WAS on Super Smash Bros with Link, so… har har har I R Genius Man. *wank wank*”

And for the record I don’t even want to KNOW what you put in your brownies….

“What's Rebé doing on the computer?”

GOOD QUESTION!!

“Maybe she's doing a DA search?

TERRIBLE ANSWER!! Here’s a better one: “Woops… forgot this is supposed to be a medieval setting, so a computer shouldn’t be there… nor should a fridge for that matter. Oh well.”

And here’s an even better answer than that one: “She’s on a pornography website learning new stripper tips. She needs rent money.”

So I’m done the artist description (thank fuck) but I saw a few comments that I need to comment on. I will do this in picture format. Short, sweet and to the point.

This needs some explanation: Ryo uses “Ryuukenden-Atrineas (fucking stupid I know) as his own name on DA, but since he refers to Zelda as “Queen Zelda Atrineas” you’d think this long, convoluted name would refer to his character, right? Well, apparently he uses “Ryo” for his character and that bullshit name is for himself… Which makes no fucking sense.  For all intents and purposes, know that when I say “Ryo” I mean fuckface himself, and when I say “Ryuu” I mean his bullshit self-insert.

   All that said and done, I must be off. Dumblydore has summoned me to the head office. Again. (This time Snape caught me and Draco in the potions room trying to make aphrodisiacs with his ultra-expensive Unicorn tears. Buzzkill’s just jealous that he never gets any.) So this is Edoby Dart’mess Denencia Ranem Wuii bidding you a farewell until next time! What will I write about next?

                You’ll just have to wait and see.