Ryo In Denial PT 1

Hi kids. Cala again, uploading another guest post on behalf of everyone's favorite Slytherin vampire!

Ryo in denial

Artwork, PT 1

Okay, it’s Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way here.

You all might be saying “Why is a Goth chick who can’t even properly type the name of genitalia (often childishly referring to them childishly as “Thing” and “you-know-where”) and who can’t even spell her own damn name right or kill herself properly without using bovine edibles critiquing a guy who just really likes to draw and write just because he can’t say swear words, avoids homosexuals and can’t come up with original characters without ripping off just about everything from their name to their clothes to their personalities?”

… Okay, that last bit was added by me. But the gist of what people ask me is “why are you such a hypocrite?” Ryo can’t even talk about genitalia as if it were a normal body part, but neither can you. Ryo can’t go five seconds without ripping off a LOZ character, but your whole persona is ripped off a bad fanfiction.

Touché.

But there’s one thing separating the Goths from the little boys here: I don’t deny what I am.

I’m a “Goffic” chick who can’t go five minutes without telling you I’m wearing a black leather corset, matching mini-skirt, a necklace with NIN’s logo on it, leather boots, hot pink fishnets matching hot pink lipstick snow white skin raven black hair blood red eyes and baby poop green panties. I can’t type “c-r-o-s-s” because I’m a Stanist.

Praise the lord!

I can’t go five seconds without thinking of my beloved Draco sticking his thing in my you-know-where. When it comes to how my name’s spelt I’d rather have it multiple choice and fuck it, I’d rather kill myself with a T-Bone than a block of wood.

Fuck you, I don’t need you to point that shit out for me.

Ryo, on the other hand, is in pure denial of who he is: not straight.

No, he’s not necessarily gay, but he sure as hell isn’t a strictly “I like boobs and vagina” man either.

Now I know what you’re going to ask me: “Ebny Dei;nwss Denbeuta Rabbn Wayy, how can that be even remotely possible?” Well, let me explain myself. In numerous ways, and although he’ll never admit to it, Ryo has hinted at being a fan of Erotic art. Of men. Very muscley men. He draws pictures of them, collects pictures of them, watches artists who draw art of them, I could go on. I’ll touch on each point individually in this article. But that’s only the beginning.

He puts way more development into his male characters than his female characters. All his female characters are constantly fainting over their male company. Regardless of them being in their own picture, a man is constantly mentioned either in the drawing itself or in its description. In short, all his female characters are obsessed with the men. This is shown through there always being some sort of male presence in all of his drawings, regardless of how female the picture is, via either describing the girl’s obsession with him or including posters or magazines featuring Ryuu in all his muscley glory. (I seriously wish I was joking, more on this later.)

Now you could say this is just a bad, bad combination of Ryo’s sexism and shitty writing. Obviously with Ryo’s strong beliefs in gender roles (which I touched on in my previous article) women are supposed to be the caretakers of men, and therefor their entire lives must revolve around them, right? Doing anything but this would make no sense to Ryo. No matter if it’s unconditional love (Zelda for Ryuu) or unbridled hatred (Crosshair for Draco (NOT THAT DRACO)) every woman in his “kingdom” is obsessed with a man and their lives (And personality and story and ect ect) revolve completely around a man. How does this have any bearing on Ryo’s sexuality?

Folks, I’m in the business of reading between the lines. Most people see the normal, sexist pig Ryo that we’ve been shoving in your face for the past little while. But I’m going to read a little further into it than that. Ryo’s universe revolves around men. It’s run by men, protected and threatened by men, impacted by men. Everything that’s not a man in this universe serves only to compliment or serve men. Ryo’s universe is obsessed with men. I am taking this a step further with what I’m about to say.

Ryo himself is obsessed with men.

Let’s take this one step at a time, starting with his artwork.

Ryo draws his Zelda self-insert, Ryuu, as he wants to see himself: A giant mountain of muscle and hair that’s akin to a “flaming waterfall.” (We know how much you love that simile.) Women constantly fawn over him like he’s a god…. Oh wait, maybe that’s because he is a god. Ryuu is the completely flawless, just, fair and dastardly handsome king/god of Hyrule who has never done and will never do any wrong because no matter if he completely slaughters an entire species or how many men he throws in the dungeons, it’s justified because “I’m Ryuu, bitch.”

Most would just see this as an example of Ryo’s narcissism but I see it in a slightly different light: He himself is obsessed with Ryuu. He’s obsessed with women being obsessed with Ryuu. He’s obsessed with Ryuu’s perfection. This is clearly reflected in his drawings of Ryuu, which either has Ryuu surrounded by women, about to slay the great beast, ruling over someone, about to be betrayed by someone who is obviously evil just because he stood up to super kami Ryuu, in a “pin-up” glamor shot or some ungodly combination of the above. Never is Ryuu upset or lamenting a bad choice or dealing with women fed up with his narcissistic bullcrap, because none of the above has ever happened.

First let’s look at his “fanservice” art. (I wish this didn’t even exist. Seriously. I’m sorry.)

Basically in his “glamor drawings” Ryo draws half-nude (or completely nude sans ass or penis) drawings of his steroid-pumped personification of himself and calls them “fanservice.” (That’s a suggestive drawing of characters from a fandom by the artist drawn solely for fans to swoon over. Yeah, it’s funny that he thinks he has fangirls who find chauvinist steroid monsters sexy.)

But the fact is he states he has more fun drawing each and every muscle on his terrifying hunk of meat. IE he enjoys drawing this giant mountain of meat. It almost seems like he gets off on it more than his fans do. But one thing that I can’t get over (and I’m going to step out of my own comfort zone and talk about Genetalia) is he’s never drawn a full nude of anyone, not even Ryuu. Now, as an artist with some professional training myself, let me explain the drawing of the human figure myself:

Basically, unless the character’s body type is of such that the artist is turned on by or they are a character they really thoroughly enjoy drawing in a fun pose, artists are generally very objective about the human body. In professional art schools, you have nude models that you draw in a group. Nude, not as in conveniently censored for the squeamish, I mean nude as in everything’s out in the open. Penis, ass, tits, vagina, the works. And you want to know how the artists react to this? With a stone face. No smirking, no wincing. Guess how long it’d take you to get kicked out if you made a complaint or started giggling? Hint: you might have enough time to collect your things.

Ryo, however, has had no formal training whatsoever. His excuse is that despite his high paying job, he can’t even afford a $15 sketchbook that doesn’t have lines. (Just about as believable as all the other bullcrap he’s spouted, eh?) Let’s hope for art schools all over the world’s sake that he’ll never be able to afford to go because he’ll probably last for about 5 minutes before he gets kicked out for asking the model to “Cover up [his], erm… thing.” (I can totally see him saying it, just like that.) Although I have to say, he has the snooty artist attitude down pat. Just one problem: He’s a cartoonist who has the attitude of a fine arts student. And a cartoonist who doesn’t even have his own style, but copy-cats art styles from established artists. I can tell you from experience that that’s extremely frowned upon in the art community (Unless you’re parodying something.)

But I went off on a tangent. Simply put, Ryo has no formal art training and while many amazing artists out there are completely self-taught, for Ryo, his lack of schooling shows just as much as his chauvinism and ego does. Not just in his terrible anatomy and horrible…. Everything else, but also in the stuff he draws. And the things he won’t draw. Ryo is very squeamish around drawing body parts. Specifically, penises. He won’t draw one. Ever. I bet he can’t even say the word. Dicks upset him. They upset him so much that he marks his artwork as “mature” even if it’s remotely hinted that Ryuu doesn’t have his covered in the situation he’s drawing (assuming Ryuu has one. Who knows, maybe his children formed on one of his arms than simply fell off one day, a fully formed sentient being, kind of like how an amoeba procreates.)

Exhibit A

I know, I'm disturbed too.

Ryo’s name for this monstrosity is “hot shower, hot guy.” First of all, I am amazed he thinks to use the adjective “hot” for a human without cringing, especially with it’s somewhat sexual connotation. But the fact that he’s using it on his male character? Honestly, that sets off a few bells. He certainly has more fun drawing Ryuu in “sexy” poses than Zelda or any female characters, seeing as he does it more often. But enough of my rambling, let’s see what Ryo has to say about this.

“Put Under "Warning" because Ryo's not wearing anything. Yet, nothing is shown”

So... Because it’s implied that Ryuu is naked and that his invisible wiener is not covered, it’s mature artwork?

Maybe it’d be unsuitable for, say…. A five year old. But Ryo, just because you say “they’re not wearing anything” doesn’t mean it’s pornographic art. But then again, someone who can’t even handle seeing a penis (I’m guessing he’s never seen himself naked in his entire life, maybe there’s a rule against being naked in the bible?) even implying there’s one there is a big deal. In this way, Ryuu reminds me of a schoolgirl who giggles in anatomy class because the teacher talked about the penis.

Yeah, it’ll take him no time to get kicked out of art school if he’s even accepted.

Anyways, let’s continue.

“More of an excuse for muscle drawing again, I for some reason got the idea of Ryo in the shower. I think it was a comic of Klavier Gavin I saw earlier. So, it seconds as fanservice.”

Because your idea was inspired by possible fanservice, it suddenly is fanservice? And why are you reading fanservice for a male character anyways? And Ryo, why would you need an “Excuse” for drawing muscles? And why would that excuse give you an idea for a shower setting (aside from that’s what happened in the comic and you rip off everything?)

See, if people want to draw muscley people in the shower, most of them would just do it. It’s only someone who thinks that they’re doing something wrong who’d look for excuses to do it. Now bearing this in mind, isn’t it possible that the devoutly-religious Ryo would have some guilt about maybe drawing something he’s uncomfortable with, say, naked people? Could it be that, like a preteen boy who looks at Anatomy books to “learn about the body” when we REALLY know he just wants to see some damn boobies, Ryo is making bullshit excuses to do things his heart truly desires?

See, judging from his overly-religious home in which everything that isn’t rated PG fuckin’ 4 is a “sin”, it seems he can’t just up and do something without coming up with a redonkulous excuse or else he faces retribution from God (or the next in line to God, his overbearing father.) So he uses things like “I’m an artist” and “I want to practise drawing and get into art school someday even though I won’t even spend $15 at walmart for a sketchbook without lines in it because that’s overpriced” or “I’m drawing these sexy muscle-men for my sweetpea and her friends because they’re all girls and will get off on it. Not me, I’m a boy, I certainly don’t get off on muscle men! Straight pride, everybody!!!” to excuse his actions, even if it’s just to himself.

Let’s move on.

“Showers don't normally give off that much steam... but I had to do something, okay? I don't draw everything on a guy, and I doubt I ever will.”

…… See? If this man was truly dedicated to his art, he’d be purely objective about the subject of the penis. But Ryo isn’t objective about the penis. He’s not objective about anything. Everything affects him. His ego works that way. Anything in this world has to relate to him and him alone. His girlfriend is awesome because she does things for him, not because of her personality. Gays are bad because he finds them icky and they go against his beliefs. He won’t draw dicks because they make him uncomfortable.

But why, Ryo? Why are you so uncomfortable around penises? Have you never looked at yourself naked in the mirror? I’m going to make a bold statement: Ryo’s desperate to keep up the “good little church boy” image by avoiding things like penises and drawing penises because maybe, like a girl who insists she’s a virgin but secretly watches porn at night, he incorrectly thinks that drawing a penis will make him a sexual deviant in the eyes of god.

Watching porn doesn’t take away your virginity, Ryo, and drawing a dick or two doesn’t make you a pervert. Avoiding it like the plague, however, kind of makes you look like a homophobic closeted gay who’s trying to keep a straight face. Literally.

A piece of advice, Ryo: if you can’t get over drawing the human body in its entirety you may as well give up going to art school. If you have a problem with drawing a dick or two, or even a set of tits in your life you’re not going to make it. You’ll be kicked out for being immature and difficult about the subject. It’s a penis, Ryo. Barring all unforeseen medical conditions or abnormalities, you have one. 49% of the world has one. Please get over it.

On to the next drawing in the next article. Going to analyze3 drawings in total, so if I try to do them all in one article the whole thing is going to turn into a TL:DR disaster. So this is Ebnoy Darrk; enss Deneburua Rebbaveb Wwaty signing out for now, Fangz for reading!!!