On The Art Of Repairing Clouds

_{This is what I'd originally written at the end of my previous post. It's an open letter of sorts to Ryuu. I doubt he's ever going to see this unless someone shows him directly. However, I'd already written it, so I figured I'd just go ahead and post it.}

Ryuu, the short version is that you've created is a character that's too perfect to be believable.

No one except you is going to be able to identify with him. I'm not sure how much of that matters to you because he's your wish fulfillment self-insert and on top of that, you've repeatedly shown you don't care much (if at all) about opinions beyond yours. But it makes for really boring reading, so it is worth mentioning as you like to write fanfics.

It'd also make you a horrible person to RP with, honestly, because if he can't be hurt or killed, what's the point?

He can't be harmed seriously by any antagonists, he can't be killed, he could save the entire world on his own, and your partners will sit there feeling superfluous. I'd go so far as to say that that's probably part of the reason your forum had no RP activity at the time of its closing: No one wants to RP with someone who saves everything forever without even trying.

Also, since this is your self-insert, seeing him portrayed with absolutely no flaws or weaknesses when you're no better than the rest of us makes you look extremely egotistical.

I know that's probably hard to hear since you're so emotionally invested in this character, and because you are (let's be honest) extremely inflexible and will probably refuse to do anything we suggest out of stubborn arrogance.

And to a degree, I understand being that attached to this character. Really, I do. But you can't keep living in the past. Everything changes, and you've claimed you want to start on a new path, right? Out with the old, in with the new.

So yes. Your best option is to outright kill him off and start over from scratch. Kill him dead and leave him in the past where everyone else's (because we've all made at least one, and anyone who says otherwise is a big fat liar) horrible Sues are.

However, if you've no intention of doing that, there's ways to fix this.

(Incidentally, I am not talking about making him become a god and fly off before switching to Raphael. That makes the problem worse.)

Some (strongly recommended) suggestions:

• Change his name. This is the easiest possible thing to fix. He is 100% white and as convoluted as his backstory is, he is a citizen of a country similar to medieval Europe. He should not have a Japanese name and title. You are writing for OoT-era Hyrule, so your character's name should suit the conventions of OoT-era Hyrule. If you need name ideas, there's loads of resources out there (such as Behind the Name, Behind the Surname, and babynames.com).
  
  • I should note that while there are characters who show up in Majora's Mask with Asian names (Guru-Guru, Sakon, Anju), in Ocarina of Time they don't have names (Guru-Guru is Windmill Man, Anju is Cucco Lady, and Sakon doesn't even get that much). You are not writing for Majora's Mask (incidentally, Hyrule and Termina are NOT connected), so this is not a valid reason not to change his name.

• Nuke his political power. Have him set firmly as prince consort/king consort. He's essentially needed to father heirs, make social appearances and do some philanthropic work. That's about all he'd logically be allowed to do. He'd also have more free time to spend with the children. Zelda would hold all the power, but I wouldn't think this would be an issue considering Ryo seems to dislike the workload that comes with being a ruler anyway. He even seems to be proud of it.
  
  • Do keep in mind the queen and more importantly, her council would have to approve the the title of king consort, though. If that is not approved, the default title would be prince consort.

• He shouldn't be the son of the goddesses. There's things that cannot be believed, no matter how hard you try to convince people. This is one of them. I say that because outside of you and the other characters in your fanon, nobody believes it anyway. So it needs to be taken away, as it serves no purpose other than to make him unkillable, unbelievable, and honestly rather unlikable. Also, the powers it grants him (the immortality in a universe where people do die, among other things) are responsible for the VAST majority of the points on the Sue test.
  
  • He shouldn't even be the goddesses' chosen one, because Link already is. If you fix all this, a lot of the work is already done.

• If you keep the fire affinity (and I see nothing wrong with that in and of itself), having an ice weakness is silly. To be fair, I know that's how it works in some games (as far as I know the most common example of this is when a couple different elements are lumped together as one) but you're not making a game, you're writing a fanfic. Reality applies in fanfics, and even where reality as we know it wouldn't apply, common sense and logic still do. What puts out fire?
  
  • Right, water. And to that extent his weaknesses should be related to water. He should be unable to swim and unable to learn to do so. It's also completely within the realm of plausibility that he'd be hydrophobic.
    
    • Also, he shouldn't be completely immune to fire. An above average resistance to heat and fire is one thing, but being completely immune is absolutely ridiculous. Even Link, the actual chosen one, isn't immune to fire in the Goron Tunic. Just highly resistant. 

• Speaking of the fire, in Child of the Triforce's sixth and seventh chapters, he was spitting fire everywhere. It was getting carried on the powder, on the wind, he was shooting fire in enclosed wooden spaces, etc., etc. He is in a forest. You know, with wood and leaves and all sorts of other highly flammable substances. Logically, he should have burned half the forest down, at least.
  •  If he ends up spraying fire all over the place something will burn, and he needs to suffer consequences for it. If someone sneezed and injured or killed your family in the process because they were shooting fire out their nose, you'd be furious at them, right? Maybe you'd even be angry enough to attack them.
    
    • The point is that the fire thing could get very messy very quickly, especially as he admits he's not able to control it. That means if he sneezes in a populated area and he catches someone's home on fire, he's screwing with peoples' livelihoods. He could disfigure, disable, and kill people, and frankly he probably would have killed several Kokiri in CotT. Also, I would expect he would be attacked for this sooner or later. People can get very angry when grieving.
      • These are all very serious crimes, and will lead to heavy fines and jail time, if not execution.
        

• Related to the above, he needs to not be forgiven for some of the stuff he pulls, and he needs to get away with less. The least unrealistic aspect of this is that he has no concept of personal boundaries, and no one seems to mind. For example, in chapter four of CotT he constantly badgers Leon about what's bothering him until the poor guy caves and blabs to him, then does the same to Darunia later in the same chapter for no reason other than "I don't like seeing people upset".
  •  He comes across as pushy, nosy, and kind of creepy. I don't know anybody who'd be okay with some dude they've never even seen before sticking his nose into their business.
    
    • The normal response to Ryo's harassment is is to complain to the innkeeper about the twat in the room next door who won't leave them alone and/or direct a very long string of invectives at them, not to just give in and tell them everything.
      
      • And in a story where the logic applied, he would have torched an entire forest and killed quite a few people. This is not something that could be forgiven by the vast majority of people. That means, assuming he escapes the furious mob alive, that there's going to be places he's no longer welcome.

• The superpowered physical strength needs to go, too. I know this is part of his supposed blessing by Din, but not all power is physical. All this really serves to do is make him more unbeatable and unrealistic, when the fire is already more than enough. The fire can also be countered with a logical weakness, which means it's probably okay for RPs, as other players can exploit that through drenching themselves or whatnot. There's not a whole lot you can do in regards to counterbalancing the super strength, though, which adds a whole bunch of Sue points.

I'm sure it seems like there's a load of work that would be wasted (I've had to completely gut characters several times, believe it or not, so I do understand) but it helps (well, as much as anything does) if you think of it as practice in character development. You've now learned what not to do. That's half the battle.

Also, I dare you to try and create a normal, average person. No god stuff, no sexism, no racism, no ripping off anything for clothes or appearance. Imagine a normal person, do the research for any aspects of their past, powers or personality that need research, and make them exist. If you can do that, then there's hope.

I honestly want to see you prove me wrong, because I think you won't scrap Ryo. Still, if you can successfully tone him down then you've at least made steps in the right direction.

And why am I writing this? Because I told you once that we won't just take your word that you've changed, but you've been talking about changing quite a bit recently. So go on, Mr. "I'm On A New Path". It's time to put your money where your mouth is.

Prove me wrong.

Mary Sue Litmus Test: Ryukenden (2013 version)

Welcome to 2013, guys, and thanks for sticking with us through Failmas. Hopefully everyone had a great holiday season!

Today, I'm going to run Ryo through the Universal Mary Sue Litmus Test, found here.

The She-Elf has already done this, but as stated in my last post, she did this just based on Ryo's character sheet. I however, will be using the character sheet, fanfics and comments Ryuu's made on art. I did borrow her format for the sake of continuity, mind.

My marks and comments are in this lovely shade of blue. I've given you the abridged version of the test, because the test is five parts long, and parts two (original fiction characters), four (testing an RP character) and five (de-Sueifiers, i.e., things that are actually flaws, show you put effort into your character and/or prove you have a functioning sense of humor) don't apply.

I've also added a few questions that the newest version of the test doesn't have but the She-Elf's version did. Checked with Rinku, he said it seemed fine and I worked them in there. So thanks for that, dude.

(Also, even without the questions, Ryo would only have a point or two less than his current final score, so I don't feel that was an unfair call for me to make.)


Also if anyone thinks I should change something, let me know in the comments.

If I checked something you don't feel I should've checked and you have a source/valid argument to the contrary, let me know. Also let me know if you think I missed anything that I should've checked but didn't. 

EDIT 2/1: As a side note, any changes I make will have the dates added in. Also, as far as those dates go? I prefer Day/Month/Year as opposed to Month/Day/Year. So no, I didn't make this change in February when it's barely January. Sorry to disappoint anybody who thought I might've figured out time travel, haha.

On with the show, then!

Is/does your character's name:
    Your name, variation of your name, nickname, screenname, or any name that has been applied to you? (Spelling it differently or changing it a little counts.):  X

• First question and I already wish there was an option to check it multiple times. As far as I'm aware he's gone by Ryo, Ryukenden, Atrineas, Ryuu-Atrineas and Oni-Ryo. One check mark does not cover this shit.

    A name you planned on giving one of your children?
    Any ordinary name spelled or changed so that it's more unusual?
    A masculine-sounding name for a female character?
    Involve a noun or verb not usually used as a name, spelled normally or not? X

• As far as I'm aware, "Ryukenden" translates roughly to "legend of the dragon sword". Also as far as I'm aware, THIS IS NOT A NAME.

    If a noun, was it deliberately chosen because it's related to nature, a weapon, a gemstone, darkness, or something mystical?
    Taken deliberately from a character from another fandom that you like? X

• He yanked the name "Ryo" from Sanada Ryo of Ronin Warriors/Yoroiden Samurai Troopers.
  
  • I don't know how much this counts, incidentally, but he also stole Ryo's title of "Ryo of the Wildfire" from this series.
    • He also stole both Ryuu and Ryukenden, though he ripped them from the Ninja Gaiden series. The Ninja Gaiden series is called Ninja Ryukenden in Japan, and the protagonist's name is Ryu Hayabusa.

    A really unusual-sounding name (unusual in the character's time/place/world) that you made up yourself?

• I actually don't know about this. Anybody know if Atrineas is an actual word in English or any other language?

    Unusual for your character's time, place, and/or ethnicity? X

• White dude with Japanese name. Yeah, that's not happening.

Belong to a country or culture your character does not belong to? (Adoption counts as belonging.)  X

• See above. Stop putting Japanese names on people who aren't Japanese, bozo.

    Chosen specifically because you thought it had a meaning appropriate for your character? X

• "Thought" is the key term here. He knew Ryu meant dragon. He thought it and Ryo were both short for Ryukenden. Guess what? He's wrong.

Is your character also known by a cool nickname or unique title/address? X

• He's got four fucking nicknames or something. Ryo, Ryu, Ryuken... Okay, three. My bad.
  • But because that's not enough, he either is or was  referred to as "Wildfire" or "Ryo of the Wildfire."
    • Now, he's called the "Fire Deity", "Son of the Golden Goddesses", and "Rurouni of Fire". 
      • Yep, he slapped more Japanese names on Whitey. Way to blow, Ryuu.

Is your character described, illustrated, and/or shown as exceptionally beautiful, cute, or handsome? X
    Does anyone fight or squabble over your character because of xir looks? X

• Yeah, actually, Envvi kidnaps him for no better reason than she thinks he's hawt.
  • Zelda goes off on her own to get him back (well, on her own and with Rabies). A fight ensues.

    Is anyone (including you) jealous of your character's good looks?
    Do any characters see xir attractiveness as a threat?

Does your character have a great body/physique, which you describe, show, and/or illustrate in detail? X

• Ryuu spent 1162 words describing Ryo's appearance in the second chapter alone of Child of the Triforce.
  • Also, out of 21 pages of Ryo-related art in his gallery, the vast majority of it is of Ryo shirtless, with an open shirt or in torn clothes so Ryuu can gush over how sexy his self insert is.

Do you use poetic and/or creative terms to describe your character, but virtually no-one else (aside from your character's love interest, perhaps)? X

• As far as appearance description goes, Ryo gets 1162 words. in a single chapter.
  • Princess Zelda gets 1022 words over two chapters (354 in chapter one, 668 in chapter three).Gravitor gets a single, 1033 word text wall in chapter one. You can kind of tell where Ryuu's focusing his attention.
    • For comparison, Leon, his Goron character, gets 115 words of description.
      • Darunia, the Sage of Fire, leader of the Gorons, equal to Princess Zelda in status, and someone a damn sight more important canonically than Ryo, Leon or Gravy Thor? GETS 34 WORDS.

    Do you frequently describe your character's beautiful/handsome/cute attributes or point out how sexy your character is? X

• See above comment on ONE THOUSAND ONE HUNDRED SIXTY TWO WORDS OF HOW SUPER SEXY RYO IS. Which happens right after a battle.

    Conversely, do you go to great lengths describing how your character is not gorgeous?

Does your character explicitly look like or strongly resemble a celebrity? X

• The She-Elf checked this one due to Ryo's resemblance to Link. I'd decided against checking it on that basis to be nice and was just going to point out that this would have added an extra ten points to Ryo's score, but then I remembered Ryuu's made it very clear that Ryo's body is supposed to resemble Arnold Schwarzenegger's, except better. Of course.
  
  • The moral of the story is that you shouldn't base your character off of celebrities or canon characters or anything else. The "Looks Most Like" field on Ryuu's character sheets needs to go away forever.

Do other characters find your character extremely attractive and desirable, even when xe should be completely gross and icky (EG, after battling, getting tortured, going for days without bathing or washing), and they don't have a fetish for that kind of thing? X

• As mentioned, Zelda ogles the shit out of him despite the fact that he's wandered across Hyrule, explored Dodongo's Cavern, explored the Lost Woods and Kokiri Forest, made his way to Lon Lon Ranch, killed off two species within a day, ran across a battlefield, cut down a bunch of undead and had some ridiculously cartoonish battle with Gravitor.
  • Who the hell knows when the last time he bathed was, because he certainly didn't do it in chapter four of CotT when he was in the inn.

Does your character have any of the following?
    Natural eye coloration not normally found in xir race/species?
    Eyes with any other unusual qualities?
    Natural hair color not normally found in xir race/species?
    Unusual feature of any other kind? (Particularly unusual/exotic birthmark, tattoo, blood color, etc.) One box for each: X

• Dude's got the mark of Din on his left hand, because apparently Ryuu decided Dark Link had a shadow Triforce mark. And Din needed to kiss it and replace it with her mark. Hey, don't look at me, this isn't my fault.

Does your character have a particularly piercing (EG, "can stare straight into your soul"), haunting, captivating, or dazzling gaze? X

• From chapter two of CotT: "I also looked at the rest of his body, but I kept looking back up to his captivating eyes."

Does your character's personal choice of clothing frequently include:
    Clothing that you deliberately picked from your own wardrobe?
    Clothing chosen because you really wished you owned it or could get away with wearing it in public?
    Clothing chosen because it makes your character look super sexy and/or badass? X
    Clothing that is realistically impractical or improper for the character's situation, but looks cool? X

• This applies to this question and the one before it. Ryo's got his fucking shirt open if not off a huge percentage of the time. It's absolutely ridiculous and reeks of "OOH, LOOK AT ME! AREN'T I SEXY?"
  
  • It usually happens when it's completely inappropriate for him to be shirtless, too. Like here. Or here. Or here.
    
    • And on the off-chance he's actually wearing something on his torso in public, it's either armor (usually made of GOLD), a harness or this sort of bra... thing.None of which qualify as something realistic.
      
      • Then there's shit like this. It's an appropriate time for him to be shirtless, for a change, but why? Why would you draw him in his skivvies with a DS?

Is your character impervious to any of the normal limitations and/or weaknesses of xir species? X

• As he CAN'T FUCKING DIE, I'm going to have to say yes.

Does your character become a genetically, scientifically, cybernetically, or magically altered/enhanced being, possibly with new powers? X

    Is xe happier this way? X

• I think considering the deliberate amnesia, that's the conclusion we're supposed to draw. 

    Do people like xir better this way?
    Do you wish it would happen to you?

Do think of your character as a role-model?
Does your character voice political, social, and/or religious opinions or beliefs which you share? X

• There are so many painfully obvious allusions to Christianity in his fanfic it's revolting.

    Does xe convince others that xir way of thinking is right?
    Is spreading these views one of your character's biggest motivations, or even xir sole motivation?
    If religious, does your character explicitly have divine support or assistance in gaining converts and/or confronting nonbelievers?
    Do characters who disagree with your character's views/beliefs simply do so out of spite, stubbornness, and/or ignorance?
    Does anyone who doesn't adopt your character's ideals by the end of the story end up beaten up, humiliated, miserable, and/or dead?

Do authority figures not punish your character when they probably would have punished his or her peers under the same circumstances? X

• Most people would have told him off at the bare minimum for shoving their nose into other peoples' business. Darunia decides he's amazing, despite Ryo being a nosy, pushy jerk.
  • Why do I think that applies to Ryo and not Link? Because Link was the messenger of the Royal Family of Hyrule. Ryo just overheard some shit and decided to force his way into everything anyway and no one tells him off once.

Are The Rules of the universe bent or broken for your character? (Like joining a group despite being too old or too young.) (Do not click if the rules catch up to your character and xe does not find a way to permanently cheat or circumvent them.) X

• He doesn't turn into a Stalfos in the Lost Woods, for one. Also, he has some magically growing super-fast Bomb Flowers that grow wherever the fuck he plants 'em instead of in the shade, which is the only sort of environment they're able to grow in during OoT.
  • They do seem to be able to grow in sunlight in TWW but I'm guessing that's because there's not a whole hell of a lot of shaded places to grow on the Great Sea. Plants evolve too.

Does your character have a past xe cannot remember? X

    If/when your character discovers xir past, will xe not like it? X

• I'm admittedly reading between the lines here a bit, but considering Ryuu had the GODDESSES THEMSELVES erase Ryo's memory, I'm guessing that's not going to go over well if Ryo discovers that.

    And/or discover that xe is actually someone of great importance?

How many animal companions does your character keep? (Ordinary, non-magical pets like cats and dogs - or any pet considered ordinary within the canon, such as non-legendary Pokemon in a Pokemon story or an owl in Harry Potter do not count.) X

    Is said animal a wolf, bird of prey, big cat, or mythical creature? X

• It's a Wolfos with gold dust runes called Acro. A dog that ain't.

Does your character pick up new skills and/or gain ranks unusually fast during the course of the story? X

• Automatically starts burping fire for no reason. Hell of a case of heartburn, that.

    To the point where xe learns skills that usually take years to master in a matter of weeks or days?

Is your character simply the best or among the best at anything xe does? One box for each:
    Is xe famous/reknowned for any of these?
    Are other characters extremely impressed or astonished at your character's skills and/or virtues? (Does not count if they are easily impressed due to their own inexperience.) X
    Do they impress even the most cynical, jaded, exacting, and/or experienced?
    Does your character modestly dismiss or deflect well-earned compliments? [EDIT 1/1]: X

• After some consultation with Rinku he reminded me that yes, Ryo does brush shit off with "I'm just a wandering swordsman". +1 to the final score.

Does your character have Barbie Doll syndrome? (Example in the Sue Test: "Princess Barbie has a medical degree. When she isn't saving lives, she's cooking dinners at her favorite restaurant and hosting charities to help endangered animals!"):  X

• Ryuu does this a lot. Ryo gets dropped into other fandoms like Professor Layton, The Elder Scrolls III and the Ace Attorney games. He was apparently dropped into Zelda after being created in X-Men, and as far as I can tell the only editing I can see is that he gets the demigod part of his backstory removed.
  • And sometimes the fire powers go away, but he's still a king-lawyer-police-officer-mutant-wanderer with the same base and absolutely no real revamping done for the new universes.
  • As far as specific examples, try Gladiator Ryo 2. It's part of his crap within the Ace Attorney fandom, and Ryo's a TV gladiator turned lawyer. I am not sure how the fuck this happened, because there's a noticeable lack of Ryo going to university then law school for EIGHT PLUS YEARS.
    • Incidentally, I'm fairly sure it's illegal to call yourself a lawyer if you haven't gotten the required degrees, certifications, etc.

Ah, the sound of music! Does your character:
    Have an exceptionally good singing voice?
    Play a musical instrument very well? X
    Is this instrument a guitar, harp, or flute? X

• A Spirit Tracks ripoff pan flute and a "SILVAR" ocarina count, right? (PS: It's spelt silver, Ryuu.)

    Can xe charm others with xir musical talent?

Does your character possess power that can take out entire cities/legions of soldiers/general all-around-evil? X

• Being a bullshit unkillable fire god with a super overpowered weapon does that.

Does your character end up in a tight spot and discover that xe has really cool, yet completely unforeshadowed powers that were dormant and/or unknown before? (Does not count if this is how the story begins.) X

• Several times. Fire god powers after he gets offed, starts randomly sneezing fire in Child of the Triforce, etc.

Does your character have any other relatively unique special powers/abilities that come in handy?  X

Does your character possess a one-of-a-kind trinket that is magical and/or has some special significance? X

• He's got a Gerudo forehead jewel on a necklace chain that shows up in a bunch of pictures. I have no idea what the significance of the thing is but there's so much emphasis put on the damn thing that there's clearly something going on with it. If anyone has a clue in hell what's up with this thing, let me know, please?
  • Well, other than the fact that this necklace looks like it's some sort of gross trophy he picked up after killing a Gerudo/bunch of Gerudos. If that's actually what happened, I don't think I want to know...
    • [EDIT 2/1] Also, the fact that Serenity is depicted with this thing so much after it was worn while her parents were screwing is fucking creepy.
  
  
• [EDIT 1/1] Rinku also pointed out those stupid Heaven's Keys that Ryo picks up over the course of the story of Child of the Triforce would count here. It doesn't add anything to the score, but you know me. It was certainly worth mentioning.

   Does this trinket protect your character from some weakness?

Is your character nobility, royalty, or of an equivalent high status (eg, governor, president, chieftain)? (Ignore if this is because the story focuses on royal-or-equivalent types.) X

• He becomes king regnant in an astonishing display of the writer discarding reality in favor of wish fulfillment.

Is your character extremely popular or positively renowned where xe comes from or frequents? X
Is your character some kind of 'chosen one' and/or a major part of a prophecy? X

• "His hair flows into fire and in this form, he cannot die. Even though demons may try, it is the sovereign plan of the Golden Goddesses that he will conquer evil." I rest my case.

    Does it involve saving the world/realm? X
   Does it involve becoming a great leader? X 

• I don't know if the "son of the goddesses" BS necessarily includes this, but I'm checking it anyway because that's how the sleazebag is portrayed. Feel free to argue this, in all seriousness.

Does your character manage to become friends with a villain, and through this friendship cause the villain to become reformed?

• I didn't check it because I'm not sure how much it counts, but there is Vassi. He gets shuffled off to float around in another dimension for a few centuries and hell if I know why (all I know for sure is that Ryuu decided ALttP came before OoT in order to make this all work), somehow ends up fighting Ryo and Zelda, and Zelda ends up "purifying" him somehow. Technically I could say it counts, I guess. Thoughts?

    Does the villain revert back to his old ways, but retains some bit of goodness, caused by your character committing a selfless act of some kind?

If your character has to prove xirself, does xe completely pwn everyone else and make them look like buffoons in the process? X  

•  See: the crap with Darunia in the fifth chapter of Child of the Triforce. And Dodongo's Cavern. The reality of the situation was that everything Ryo was told to do was made out to be a challenge, but it ended up being easy as hell. 

Does a major villain have a personal fixation/obsession with your character? X

• Wish I could check this multiple times, because it applies to Gravitor and Envvi both.

    For no apparent reason? X

• Envvi thinks he's smokin' hot (hardly a reason to kidnap someone) and Ryo... I don't know, hit Gravy Thor in the neck once and somehow foiled his EVIL PLANS, because the guy ran off crying like a five year old.

    Something that has to do with your character's family, and not your character xirself?

[EDIT 3/1: the following four questions (from "have you ever imagined you are this character" to "did you feel this test insulted or attacked you or your character so far") have been added in.]Have you ever imagined you are this character? - Skip if the only imagining you do is when you write the story.

Do you feel insulted, attacked, or defensive when someone does not like your character? X

Once upon a time, the She-Elf wrote a mockfic pairing Ryo and Link. Ryuu took it extremely personally (which adds another +3 to the final score) and compared it to a knife in his back, despite the fact that as far as I'm aware, he never asked her to take it down (she did that on her own, for the record):

"But on the other side, others completely just try to rip at me, even by making my own characters act in ways I would never approve of - all for the sake of jabbing me. In the "Mockfic" called "A Roving Mind", they portrayed Ryo as a masturbater and with a secret love for Link! Enraging as this is, this is only the first bag of their knives they've thrown behind my back."

If people don't like your character, do you believe it's just because they don't "get" him or her, or that they're just jealous of your character?

Did you feel that this test insulted or attacked you or your character so far?

Does your character share a notable physical characteristic with a canon character, or at least have one that is remarkably similar? (Genetic resemblances do not count here.) X

Is your character just as good or even better at the jobs and/or skills of one or more canon characters? (EG, better hacker or smarter than the nerd character, better fighter than the tough character.) X

• For absolutely no reason, Ryo is stronger than Link and apparently has replaced Link as the Goddess's tool to defeat evil.

    For no apparent reason? X
    Does xe have the talents, skills, and/or abilities of several canon characters combined? [EDIT 3/1] X

•  I swear I checked this, but Enoby pointed out that no, I did not. He's got Link's sword skills (except better, OF FUCKING COURSE), he's got some of the goddesses' powers somehow and despite the fact that he's supposedly only got Din's blessing, it seems like he has all the powers of the Triforce. +3 to the final score.

If the last question did not apply, does your character have a gadget, weapon, or power that can rival that of a canon character? X

• I know it says "if the last question does not apply", but he has a +1 Master Sword/possible Lokomo Sword. That's a big enough deal I feel it should be mentioned, and should count against him.
  • Why? Because that's a one of a kind super legendary blade. Then Ryo comes along and yanks a new legendary blade that's even stronger out of his ass.

    Is it for all intents and purposes identical to the one used by the canon character? X

Does the arc/story pretty much center around xir, or is xe the main source of conflict in the story/arc? X

Is your character closely related to a canon character? (Ignore if the character is a child is born during the course of the story AND is raised by xir parents.) X

• He marries Zelda, is apparently the reformed Dark Link and is somehow the son of the Goddesses. Don't ask me, guys, I don't write this crap. I just spork it mercilessly.

    The sibling?
    The lost or estranged child/sibling?
    The twin/clone? X

• The She-Elf was nice. She decided Ryo should be classed as "other connections". However, I'm not nice and my logic is pretty simple: Dark Link was Link's shadow clone. Ryo is the reformed, overly muscular reformed Dark Link. Therefore, Ryo was a clone of Link.
  • Though to be fair, I don't think he can quite be said to be a clone anymore, since Link doesn't look like this.
    • But since the goddesses are the ones who roided Ryo up, that seems even Sue-ier than the straight rip to me.

    Are the parents canon characters that seem very unlikely to procreate together?
    Do other characters comment on or are amazed by how much your character looks like xir canon relative? X 

• Leon outright states "His face looks just like Big Brother Link" in the fourth chapter of Child of the Triforce.

    If your charcter is not actually related, does xe have other connections to the canon characters? X

• Even apart from everything else, he's been made an honorary Goron (JUST LIKE LINK) and there was a possible relationship with Cremia in Termina, which means at the very least he was making friends there.

Is your character liked by all the canon characters you like? X

• Try "every canon character I've seen him interact with".

    Do they care for your character more than they care for their canon friends? [EDIT 1/1] X

• Totally forgot about this till Rinku reminded me. Zelda ignores the fact that Impa is seriously injured and possibly dead just to ogle Ryo. +3 to the score.

Would any canon character die for your character? (Unless, of course, said canon character would pretty much die for any casual friend/aquaintance.)
   
Even characters that are not known for their friendly, outgoing attitudes?
   
Do characters who criticize or don't like your character from the start like xir by the end, or at least have a grudging respect? X

• Several Gorons who want nothing to do with him because he's being a pushy, nosy little jerk change their mind out of left field. Darunia is one of them, and he kind of decides "OH OKAY, HERE, BE AN HONORARY GORON" for basically no reason.

Or does anyone who criticizes or doesn't like your character end up getting beaten up, humiliated, miserable, and/or dead? [EDIT 4/1] X

• Enoby pointed this one out to me too. A Deku Scrub fires a nut at him, because that's what Deku Scrubs do, and Ryo lit the poor thing on fire, drops bombs on him and so forth. Ryo has never come close to losing a battle except with Gravy Thor, as far as I'm aware, and then he gets his ass saved by going God Mode. And of course, everyone who isn't an enemy likes and respects him.
  • Also, this isn't strictly related to to Ryo, but I would like to point out Ryuu's drawn some art where Ryo's son Raphael beating the shit out of goblins. The only conclusion that can really be drawn without being informed otherwise is that the goblins are meant to represent Rinku, a former fan of his, and myself. For no better reason than we've taken offense to Ryuu's bigotry and dared to speak up about it.
    • My point is that the tendencies are definitely there with Ryuu, so when you see it in-story it really isn't a super-huge surprise, though it's still unpleasant as hell to read.

Do any of the main characters look up to your character? X
    As a leader? X
    Do canon leaders see your character as a threat because of this?

How many major characters fall for your character? X
How many minor characters fall for your character? X
How many major characters does your character fall for? X
How many minor characters does your character fall for? X

• The major character is, of course, Zelda. The minor character is Cremia of Romani Ranch, though I don't know if there was an actual relationship there or just a mutual attraction.
  • Ryuu's also stated that Ryo at one point had Eye The Bright Red Failure Ninja as a possible love interest. The latter doesn't count against him on this test but I thought it was worth pointing out.

 
Does your character become the significant other/partner of a canon character? X
   
Have sex with a character who wouldn't normally have sex with pretty much anyone under the same or similar circumstances?
   
Or could your character have sex with a canon character if xe wanted, but refuses because your character is "not that kind"?
  
Does your character marry the canon love interest? X
    Or give up this romance for some greater good/noble purpose?
   
Does the canon love interest break up with a previous love in order for any of this to happen?
  
Does your character fall for the characters that that you fall for?  [EDIT 3/1] X

• Ebony pointed out that Ryuu has actually stated that he actually talked to LZ in the first place was because her username was Princess Zelda and it was like "actually having Princess Zelda on the forum!". +1 to the final score.

Does your character end up moving in with or living fairly close to any of the canon characters? X

Do the adventures of your character mirror or closely resemble the adventures of any of the canon characters? (Ignore if this is because it happens to pretty much everyone in the canon, IE, shopping at Ollivander's for a wand before attending Hogwarts.) X

• Ryo's story is pretty much exactly the same as Link's adventures up to getting the Master Sword. Which really shouldn't happen.

Does your character save the canon characters from a situation or come up with a solution that they probably could have done by themselves before? (Admittedly, lead characters tend to be phenominally lucky, but still...) X

• Dodongo's Cavern. Again. That could've been EASILY handled by the Gorons but for some reason they can't.  I don't get it either, so take it up with Ryuu.

Does xe solve the personal problems of any canon character?

Is your character ever taken, threatened, and/or endangered by the villain/villains? (Ignore if this is because your character is a new regular you've added to your cast.) X

• Twice, I think. Gravy Thor and Envvi.

    Do the canon characters immediately dash off to the rescue? (Ignore this question if they're in the business/habit of rescuing individual people from bad guys.)

• [EDIT 1/1] I'm not marking this even though Zelda does set out to rescue him. It says "immediately" and I don't know if she stopped and prepared first or what. I'm not quite sure what happened there. I mean, I doubt there was any preparation involved but I'm going to be fair here.

    Does xe rescue xirself?
    Was there a special reason the villains targeted your character? X

• Envvi thinks he's super-attractive and Gravitor wanted to use him as a combatant in an arena because he's secretly a cartoon villain.

Does your character:
    Know something that only a canon character should know?
    Do something that only a canon character should have done? X
    Was it something that changed said canon character originally?  X

• I think gathering the three special objects, getting the legendary sword and beating the shit out of the antagonist counts as something that should change a person.
  • Also, in regards to "doing something that only a canon character should've done", not only does he gather the three sacred artifacts for a shiny new legendary sword, he cleared out Dodongo's Cavern a second time, and it was identical to how Link cleared it. Straight down to the boss fight.

Does your character play a crucial role in resolving the conflict of the story/arc? X
    With a heretofore unseen power or skill? X
    Does your character almost die in the process?
    Does your character actually die in the process? (Any nasty irreversable thing, like getting sent to an inescapable dimension count, too.) X
    Does everyone mourn the death of your character?
    Is xe revived/resurrected/brought back later? X

• This is all related to the fire deity crap. I don't know the specifics but I know even this much is not really going to make for a good character.

Do you plan on writing more stories about your character? X

Do you plan on writing stories about your character's children? X 

• He's already written more stories about Ryo and a few about Ryo's kids. 

Your total is: 185 [EDIT 1/1] 189

[EDIT 3/1] 198 Holy shit, I have never seen a Sue test score this high. [EDIT 3/1] HOLY MOTHER OF FUCK. This is insane. I'm also certain I think it's pretty clear that if I'd checked the stuff I waffled on a bit, we'd be well over 200 by now.

What this means for Ryo:

“50+
It's probably a lost cause either way, or you didn't read instructions properly (some people don't do this, which causes freakishly high scores). If it's the latter case, read the instructions and take the test again.”

This used to just say "kill it dead". I liked that better, but people like Ryuu probably complained. In any case, WOW. Just the character sheet pulled in a 42, but when you take everything into account the problem is much, much deeper. I don't know anyone who has the same characters they do at 23 that they did at 15, because the characters you make as a kid usually suck horribly.

Ryuu should try to accept that there's no fixing this guy, kill him off, and start over. It'll be less painful in the long run.

EDIT 3/1: Considering we're toeing the 200-points line, I feel like I need to address this differently.

I don't know how much clearer it could be that Ryo is pretty much the worst Sue I've ever seen short of writing "NO NO NO NO NO, DON'T DO ANY OF THIS, THIS IS A MASSIVE MARY SUE" in the blood of newborn babies all over the walls. 

But I'll save that for a different post, because this is getting horribly long and there's the possibility of edits at a later date with this one. Which would make it still longer.