Clearing Up A Few Things

You've probably heard the name Stormsworder if you've been hanging around. But if you're new here, Stormy seems to be one of Ryuu's most vocal supporters. She was one of the first of his fansquad to post comments back in 2010 when Ryuu cried about the blog.

She's also pushed Ebony over the edge with her homophobia (despite having a gay brother! What a great sister you aren't), made a friend of mine cry, and it was recently brought to my attention that like Ryuu, she's a hypocrite and a liar.

I've mentioned this a couple times, but I figured I'd keep the details private because she claimed she wanted to "resolve things" with the blog. Which would be fine, except nobody's heard jack shit from her on that subject. 

It's been over a year now, so I'm going to make this public. Some of the accusations she's thrown out need to be addressed one way or another, and as she refuses to discuss it like a mature adult I don't see that I have any other choice.

(Also, any typos in the light red text are Stormsworder's, not mine.)

I was recently sent a link to her Tumblr (I'm not going to directly give her views, but if you really want to look, her Tumblr is registered under Stormsworder) with a post containing the following:

"Discovered last night that a hate-blog (trying to dub themselves MST type) actually targeted the first three chapters of my fanfic. Which weren’t the best.
And was written in like, 2009.

Should I feel honored that, because I stood up for my friend they targeted, they decided to target me, too? » *shrug*

Haters gonna hate~"

... "hate-blog"? "Trying to dub themselves MST type"? And the person sodomizing syntax like this has an English degree?! That job writing for game companies is a lot farther away than you realize, honey. 

Anyway, my WordPress is not a hate blog. It's where I post some mock fics (which is probably not the nicest thing on the planet but one of the people who has every right to be upset about the mockfics has no problem with them. STFU, Stormy) and a shitload of MSTs.

I've MSTed more stories than just hers. If she'd contacted me directly and asked me to take the thing down, there's a decent chance I might have (so long as she left the arrogant and demanding attitude at the door). I haven't even touched it in half a year, so it's not like this is something I'm absolutely determined to complete.

And that leads into my second point here. She's been lurking on my WordPress for a while (confirmed by magical Satanic devilworship), and she's only JUST noticed I MSTed her fanfic? I posted two chapters in July 2012 (the third was posted in December) and her fanfic has its own category on the front page for the sake of organization. It's not fucking hidden.

It's been over half a year and now she cried to a bunch of her friends? Her powers of observation are fucking staggering.

Interestingly, she's throwing out the exact same excuses Ryuu did when he originally found the blog. I guess there's some sort of fundie stock phrasebook I'm not aware of for when people call fundies' creative endeavors less than genius, because "this is out of date" is the exact same line Ryuu tried to feed us.
 
But she's added on to the story (with the same crappy Mary Sue self-insert protagonist, too!) and is uploading it to Archive of Our Own unedited. Clearly she's not as ashamed of it as she claims to be. 

Unless she got that English degree out of a Cracker Jack box, I'm pretty sure they taught her that if you're not happy with something you should edit, proofread, and revise it. As it stands she hasn't taken it down or revised it one bit.

Anyway, she claims this happened because she stood up for Ryuu. That's a blatant fucking lie. She's breaking the ten fucking commandments in order to make herself look good. How very christian of her.

Look, there's been a whopping total of two people I've MSTed who are friends of Ryuu's (Stormsworder and Iwuzheer69). If I was out to MST everyone who's friends with Ryuu, that number would be much higher.

If you like Ryuu, that's cool. If you're an unapologetic megadouche to my friends (Stormy) or make extremely disrespectful comments about my recently deceased loved ones (Iwuz) that's not cool. That's why they were MSTed, which has nothing to do with Ryuu.

Speaking of Ryuu, though, Stormsworder has a pretty screwed up idea of what "standing up for a person" means.

All she did was shout at someone who couldn't help, then when she was told who could she ran off leaving a trail of piss behind her. Coming from someone who thinks they're strong and honorable (time for more Tumblr quotes!):

"what would your patronus be? A dragon, more than likely. Strength, honor… at least that’s my headcanon of some dragons"

that's pretty fucking laughable.

Getting to the point here, my friend initiated a conversation with Stormy over something else entirely. Almost immediately, Stormy brought up the subject of Ryuu and Z:EF. She ranted at my friend for three hours straight, despite the fact that my friend had nothing to do with the blog or what we choose to post.

 The abridged version of what followed is that Stormy was extremely domineering, cruel, and refused to listen to anything my friend said. In the end, my friend was reduced to tears.

I was super-offended but told her to go ahead and give Stormy my contact info. I'm almost always willing to discuss some of the questions she wanted answered with anybody who bothers to ask, and I promised to behave. 

Never heard from her. I MSTed two chapters of her fanfiction out of frustration, one more in December and let it moulder till she started spreading lies.  Also in December I asked my friend for the chat transcript and she kindly provided it to me. Which directly lead to the MST of the third chapter of her story. [edit 11/7: I just realized I made it sound like "the incident in December" was an actual run-in with her. Holy crap I fucked up. The preceding entire paragraph has been reworded.]
 
The unabridged version... 

Stormsworder almost immediately claimed the blog was contributing to the deteriorating state of LZ and Ryuu's relationship. Her second message was literally

"They're ruining their lives"

You know, I really hate to be the voice of reason here, but how the FUCK is an erratically updated, unadvertised blog about art, writing, character development and bigotry going to ruin someone's life? 

Sure, the majority of our examples are taken one person but as it's not being posted on his page, he'd have to go looking for it to have any idea what we're saying. As far as we're aware, he hasn't.

If a site that we're fairly sure he doesn't even read is ruining his life, I think it goes without saying that Ryuu needs to grow thicker skin. 

"Whoever's in charge decided to gather up a bunch more people and attack Ryuu again. Hurt Zelly's feelings pretty bad too by pretending to be on her side then backstabbing her."

This conversation occurred right after Ebony started sending us some guest posts, so that's probably why this came up.

First and foremost, it was never our intention to hurt LZ, and I apologize from the bottom of my heart if we did. But I'm honestly skeptical of this, because I've heard otherwise before and after this conversation happened. 

Also, I know I've said this before but I'm getting as sick of hearing this as I am of people saying we should change our tone:

If you're one of the people who think we solicit for guest posts, you're wrong. If someone wants to make a guest post, they send me drafts via email, and if I like what they have to say, I post them. There has never been any variation on this.  Ebony is a special case, but only because Rinku liked what she had to say enough that we kept her around full time. The process was otherwise no different (other than the fact that she's the only one who's sent us multiple posts).

And if that's "gather[ing] up a bunch more people", what do you call that public Tumblr post, especially since one of her friends left a comment on my WordPress defending Stormy? Miss I-Fail-Abysmally-At-My-Own-Religion should look up Matthew 7:5.

(I also find it interesting that she accused us of rounding up people and Ryuu accused us of "secret rallies", but Stormy and Ryuu both made posts that sounded a whole fucking lot like they wanted people to complain/falsely report on their behalf. Thou Shalt Not Bear False Witness apparently doesn't ring a bell.)

Anyway, after that Stormy told my friend:

"Frig. Don't tell anyone those specifics. Just thought you could get them to quit ruining my friends' lives."

So there's probably a decent chance you're wondering "hey Cala, why are you posting this if Stormy wanted it kept confidential? Doesn't that violate your anonymous-unless-asked policy?"

In a word? No.

In more than a word? If you're on this blog I'm going to assume that you guys are already familiar with Ryuu and LZ. While I would prefer to leave them out of this entirely, some of the especially offensive accusations are directly tied to them. I will be leaving as much out as I possibly can, though.

 In a similar vein, my friend's identity will remain as anonymous as humanly possible. And before anyone asks, she gave me permission to quote the transcript and make this post.

As far as Stormy goes, I said fuck that. As it happened, Rinku agreed.

She's had a whole damn year to resolve this privately, but instead she whines on Tumblr about something she could've solved months ago.

Oh, and at one point in February Stormy tried to be sneaky and sent anonymous asks to the (now-defunct) Stupid Shit Ryuu Says Tumblr:

Stormy, your grammar is its own breed of awful. Spoilers! That's how I figured out it was you.

 Despite the fact that Stormy didn't want any of this getting out, she proceeded to give my friend even more personal information:

"They're tearing apart a relationship."

Who wants to explain to me how the fuck we're doing that? I legitimately don't understand. 

Again, this is a blog designed to critique characters, art, fanfiction, and call one jackass out on being every kind of -ist or -phobe possible. We've never posted it on Ryuu or LZ's pages or sent it to them.

See that archives-by-year in the sidebar over there on the right? And the post count in 2011? Our updates are so sporadic the blog pretty much up and died for about a year.

If we were any more irregular we'd be the star of every laxative commercial ever made. 

But Stormy doesn't want their relationship to end, and is friends with both parties, which means that if they have fights (because all couples do) she's going to... blame a few people who have nothing to do with it instead of being a shoulder to cry on and not taking sides. 

Seems completely fucking legit. So to summarize:

Are we a catalyst for any relationship problems? That's possible, I guess, if one or both of them read the blog.

Is there even the teeniest tiniest chance we were the sole cause of any relationship problems? Absolutely not. I can still say with a fair bit of confidence that if their relationship has been going down the crapper, we're not the reason.

Now that that's cleared up, I'd like to direct you to a particular gem from the chat transcript. 

My friend was going through a rough patch at that point, and between that and Stormy being a domineering jerk for nearly an hour, Friend was extremely upset. She told Stormy that by her standards Friend was going to hell anyway (my friend's not christian), so why would Stormy care about her suffering? Stormy's reply:

"Because I care about people and don't like to see them suffering"

Which, about twenty minutes later, Stormy proved was a blatant fucking lie. When Friend said she'd spent a good chunk of the conversation crying:

"I seem to have a bad habit with getting upset enough to make people cry it seems. And soo you don't mind that they've hurt Zelly as well when she doesn't deserve it?"

This is as close to an apology as my friend ever got.

"I don't like seeing people suffering, but I have a habit of making people cry. NOW LET'S KEEP BEATING THE SAME DEAD HORSE I'VE BEEN WAILING ON FOR THE PAST HOUR." 

She clearly doesn't care about anything my friend could possibly have to say, or about people who she's not friends with.

How can you fucking say "you don't care they've hurt my friends even though they haven't done anything to deserve it?" while knowing you've actively berated someone who has nothing to do with our posts to tears? How can you not see that you're doing exactly what you're claiming we are?

 How can you claim to be a christian and say you can't stand suffering, but be that cruel to someone? 

For someone who claims to be a devout christian Stormy sure has no problems dropping trou and taking a gigantic dump all over the Golden Rule. 

"Did they ever seem the type to you to want Ryuu and Zelly to split up?"

Why the fuck would anyone think that would be our goal when we keep our shit to ourselves. No, no, no, no. We don't enjoy peoples' suffering, we aren't out to make Ryuu's life a living hell. The implications here are straight-up offensive.

"If he [Rinku] wants to ruin a happy couple's relationship? How can anybody stand by that an dsupport it?"

Jesus shit-titty christ, how many different ways do I have to say this? (God, I feel like a broken record but my poor friend had to tell her the same thing over and over for three hours straight. I have the sudden urge to hug her for putting up with that.) That's STILL an asinine, offensive, and groundless statement. Put very simply:

Nobody on the blog endorses breaking them up. 

I'm going to leave it there, because if you want to jump to this massively fucked up conclusion, then I'm going to have to go over why you're full of shit. Again. I feel like I've done that enough, don't you?

Anyway, if it were me? I'd be ashamed to have someone like this as a friend. For all she claims she wants to help her friends, she's the one exacerbating the situation. She's also causing a fair fucking bit of bad blood, which is usually not what one aims for when one is trying to defuse a situation.

 If she's deliberately stirring the pot while claiming she wants to help resolve the situation then she's a horrible friend, full stop.  LZ and (yes) Ryuu deserve better than that.

And that's totally apart from the fact that she shared their personal information without asking. If I were Ryuu or LZ and found out about that, I'd be extremely pissed, especially as she clearly knew she wasn't supposed to be telling a known friend of someone Ryuu probably can't stand.

That's a huge betrayal and if she didn't want it to come to light, she probably shouldn't have harassed my friend for three fucking hours. If she didn't want this made public, she should've put on her big girl panties and contacted me just once in the past year. She shouldn't have sicced her friends on my wordpress. She should've told me I was wrong herself. She did none of that. Oops.

By the way? I'm assuming Stormy has been left out of the loop but LZ, for all of her insecurities and self-confidence issues, has been kind and friendly to all of us who've spoken to her. She's shown more courage and strength in dealing with people who initially made her nervous than Stormy could ever dream of doing.  I think LZ's a lot stronger than she gives herself credit for.

But whether or not Stormy's lying again, I hope LZ overcomes her self-esteem issues, and I hope she keeps experimenting and improving as a colorist. I also hope she picks up drawing again.

I think she's capable of great things, and I'm looking forward to seeing where she goes in life.

By the way, if you're wondering about the Tumblr shit, I'll cover all that next time. This got way too long for me to go over that here.

Which is why I'm going to end this here for now. Later.

Wherein Miracles Happen (AKA Rinku Plays Nice)

*Siiigh...*

So...

Ryuu recently made another drawing. As of this writing, it hasn't been uploaded to his DA, but it was colored by LZ and uploaded to hers.

And I just...

I can't find anything to complain about.

I mean, there's some weird perspective stuff going on with the cake, but there's nothing funny about it. Perspective is hard--whatever. I can't work with that.

There's no strange proportions, no egotistical bullcrap with his dumb OCs, no obnoxious anatomy flaws. He didn't use it as some flimsy excuse to make it all about him even though it was a present to somebody else. The style is a little different, but not, you know, offensively so. It's just a sunny toon Link with a cake.

In fact...

I might... sort of... 

almost...  

kind of... like it.

Ish.

I know. I know. But, I mean... it's sort of a cute pic and he's reasonably in character, and it looks kind of like Ryuu tried something with the overhead perspective, and it feels sincere, and just... look at him.

Come on.

It's not my toon Link bias talking, either. Some of the most offensive pics of Ryuu's, to me, have been when he either appropriated WW Link or ripped him off outright, so if anything, the bias should work against him.

I just...

Urrrgh.

There. I said it. Don't get used to this. One pic doesn't make up for the gobs and gobs of Ryuu's obscenity.

I just... had to admit it, okay?

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go get drunk and think long and hard about things.

Hey, Ryuu....

Nanny Nanny Boo Boo.

A Quickie: Why Ryuu Steals From Other Artists

And lo, in a single comment, Ryuu reveals the cornerstone of his philosophy:  "I can't do it myself, so I'll take it from someone else who can."

Oh, Ryuu. There's no thrill in experimentation for you, is there? No fascination in research. Why go to all that trouble when you can take the hard work of others and get all the credit?

The ultimate irony is that this was supposed to be his big breakthrough into "original" storytelling. This was when he was supposed to take his Zelda OCs and put them in their own universe. All it proves is that Ryuu is capable of incredibly bold lies -- now he claims that he's being completely original while he rips off the work of others. At least when he was still working in the Zelda universe, he had an excuse to source from it.

Surprise Q&A: The Wayward She-Elf and The Squid

Hey look! I come bearing presents. The She-Elf agreed to do a Q&A for us, so enjoy.

This doesn't mean you're going to be seeing her posting again, but that (and other things) are covered in the following. The Elf's responses are in blue, my questions are in gold, blah blah blah. Thank you so much for taking the time to do this, Elf!

Was there a reason you decided to make Ryuu the subject of the blog?
You’ll have to forgive me, as my memory is not the best. I don’t think there was any one, particular reason, at the time. He just caught our attention, and there was a dearth of criticism on his work. It was one of those ideas that just pops into your head, sometimes. “Oh, let’s go do this thing!” “That could be fun!” I might be forgetting something. If I am, I apologize to the others.

Was there any event in particular that made you guys decide to found the blog?
I think the catalyst was the set of homophobic rules on his forum. I think it was that spark of anger that caused me to create it, instead of just talking about it and forgetting about it. Yes, while the lot of us thought it was a fun idea, I think it was rather obvious to anyone who knows me that I did the initial creating. Why else would there be so much blue?

What was your goal in starting the blog? Did you expect the amount of support it's gotten, or is this a surprise?
We had a few objectives. We wanted to provide some criticism, because he received so little commentary that wasn’t praise, we wanted to provide a place to vent, because it seems more polite to do that than to post aggressive complaints on his page, and we wanted to inform others about his character flaws. 

I didn’t expect any support, though. I figured if it didn’t get outright ignored, it’d get nothing but hate.

I know you already covered this in the FAQ, but we seem to be getting this a LOAD recently anyway. Why did you choose this route as opposed to leaving criticism directly on Ryuu's forum/deviantArt or sending it to him privately?

Well, first of all, it seemed intrusive. It seems especially intrusive to go onto his forum to criticize him, actually. 

Second of all, it’s easier to brush off criticisms on your own ‘territory,’ as it were. We wanted a place where it couldn’t get washed away. No, no creator has to use any criticism he or she gets. No critic should expect his or her suggestions to be used, either. However, it did seem to me, at the time, that what very little criticism he got was brushed aside with excuses. He just explained away why the critic’s concerns were invalid and never fixed anything in his art or writing to show what he claimed. 

That’s his decision, too. He’s welcome to it. I didn’t see why it would be different if it was on Z:EF as opposed to his deviantart, forum, or email in-box. I still don’t. He can just as easily brush them off here as he could on his own page. 

Additionally, no one even knows if we have deviantART accounts. People can browse sites like that without accounts. I still don’t have a fanfiction.net account, after all. Though, I suppose that’s a moot point, because you can (sometimes) leave anonymous comments.

And something else I know you and I have covered in private. Why did you choose the name Zelda: Epic Failure?
Laziness. I took the title of his forum and replaced Journeys with Failure. Now that I think about it, I probably should have used the word ‘Failures.’

Why did you leave the failblog?

A combination of reasons. First: I gave my word that I wouldn’t post about Ryuu until he and I had reached a resolution. He left our conversation after three messages and never got back to me. Around this time, I renamed the blog and played around with doing other things, which was a terrible idea, as it watered down the focus immensely.

This contributed to the Second: I had a massive falling-out with Rinku, in part because of the way I ran the blog. I did create the blog, but we didn’t actually have a hierarchy. I turned over formal management to him, and we had other issues that I don’t feel like posting online. Eventually, I stopped my neutral posts and left after a final argument that is irrelevant because it’s not about Ryuu. 

I took some time to myself grieving the loss of some friendships and focused on my spiritual and religious growth. For those who don’t know, I consider myself deeply religious.

Is there anything you wish you would've done differently during your tenure?
There’s plenty I would’ve done differently. I wouldn’t have been quite so aggressive. Not because I feel an aggressive tone is inherently wrong, but because I was more aggressive in tone than I am as a person. I was already anticipating arguments, and I wanted to be the target of those arguments, rather than my friends. It’s not a logical way of thinking, no, but that’s the one I had.

I also wouldn’t have given my word to remain silent. I’m not sure what that would’ve done in the short-term, and I don’t think it would’ve prevented my issues with Rinku, but I wonder if it would’ve been more useful in the longterm. 

I think I would’ve liked to actually edit my articles, too. I’m sure it’s obvious I didn’t put enough effort into my posts. I slapped on rough drafts with minimal proof-reading. So ugly.  

 I also would’ve kept the site blue.
 
Do you have a favorite and/or least favorite character of Ryuu's? Is there any character in particular you think could be salvaged? Is there one you think should just be killed off and never spoken of again?
Sort of. I don’t have a favorite character, because while there are traits of Vassi that are all right and interesting parts of an unused character of his, a deku named Dominick (Domi for short), I am not emotionally attached remotely enough to call either of them my favorites. 

As for the character I dislike most, I’m going to go ahead and say Callock, because you know I’m a fan of Dragon Ball Z, for one thing, and you know how much I think Gotenks is one of the worst things to ever exist on the show. 

I think Vassi could be salvaged. I actually toyed around with it and had a few overly-complicated conversations about timelines. 

I’ll also surprise you by saying I don’t think Ryo is unsalvageable. In a way. Who he would be as a character, and what he would look like, may actually be drastically different, and one might say it would be no different than scrapping him and creating a new character, but explaining how would take up a lot of room and energy, and I’m not sure if I want to make the effort right here. 

But, to answer your question, Rebé. I even wrote a large thing explaining why, but the simple explanation is: orientalism. I find the character painfully racist and sexist beyond salvaging, and some of that is not just Ryuu’s fault. Racism is a thing that most people have to unlearn and it’s a slow process. It’s a heavy accusation, too, and I would like to make it clear that I’m not trying to say he’s a terrible person. I don’t believe she’s an intentionally racist character. It’s a complicated matter, and, again, I don’t feel like taking up the space and energy to explain it too deeply.

Any thoughts on Ryuu taking his characters out of the Zelda fandom to make them more “original”... while ripping more shit off?

Yes. Simply put: I don’t think he should do it. I don’t say that to be mean. I just honestly don’t think he’s ready to do all that would need to be done to actually make a successful transition. While I do think he’s made an effort, I don’t think he’s completely fixed the problems his characters have as fan characters. 

I think if he wants to try an original setting, he should start completely from scratch, just for practice’s sake. Perhaps after that, he could try transitioning his characters.

 Do you have any good Zelda-based stories you'd like to recommend?
Actually, I don’t. I’ve read less than half-a-dozen that I would recommend, but I don’t have them saved in my favorites and I don’t remember the names of the authors. I don’t actually read a lot of good Zelda fan fiction. When I say that, I don’t mean it’s hard to find. I mean, I tend to enjoy finding bad Zelda fan fiction.

As someone who also suffers from badfic disease, are there any other Zelda fanfics you'd recommend?

Oh my, yes. There’s one called The Legend of Zelda: Diamond of Eternity. It’s been a favorite of mine for a while. I should revisit it. On a purely technical level, it’s okay for a thirteen-year-old’s work. I don’t give it that much of a pass, though, because she revisited her account years later—eight years later, according to when it was last updated—and it’s still up, so the story itself is fair game. 

The author isn’t, though, because c’mon. 

The obvious choice is My Inner Life, which I’ve tried digging into several times, in several different ways. That author is loopy, by the way. 

For anyone who can find it through the wayback machine, most of Zelda’s Odyssey: Inverse Purity still exists somewhere on the internet. Most of the ending is gone, though. It’s completely insane. Thirty or so chapters of converting-the-Zelda-cast to Christianity, or else. I genuinely lament that I can never read it in full.

SQUID'S EDIT (2 July 2013): That's not the case, apparently! Someone emailed me a link. It's still around, so if you like badfic, have fun.

That last one sounds laughably terrible, and I'd probably be as entertained by that as that one Judas/Jesus story we laughed at. Do you have any recommended non-Zelda based stories?

The Chronicles of Amber. You were expecting that. It’s a ten-book series by Roger Zelazny, my favorite author of all time. In fact, I recommend anything by Roger Zelazny, but my favorites are his Amber series, This Mortal Mountain, A Rose for Ecclesiastes, and Horseman! 

I could list three or so more favorites if I really wanted to. 

Besides that, I recommend Gawain and the Green Knight, as translated by Tolkien. I’ve tried one other translation, myself, and it was not very good. I haven’t tried a couple other translations because I don’t read ones that weren’t translated in verse. He’s the translator my medieval cultures professor recommended me in college. 

I’ll leave it at that, though, before I start talking about everything I’ve read and liked. What’s important is that everyone like Roger Zelazny. He’s one of my heroes. 

I don’t think I need to recommend any bad books, since some of those get popularized, but my favorite badly written book series is Left Behind. You were also expecting that, considering I’ve even got you to read it. Save the Pearls is also terrible, but I don’t recommend it because I think it would be morally wrong to advocate giving money to that racist woman.

Have you read Ryuu's non-Zelda stories? If so, do you think the writing is better or worse?

I wasn’t aware that he wrote more than a ‘Mario’ fan fiction based entirely around his Mario fan characters. The Plight of Plum, I think. 

I found the writing on that better, overall. The characters seemed to have more personality, the prose was more concise. The dialogue was still stiff, but it was definitely leagues better than his Zelda fics. The plot was simpler and had its own problems, but for what it was, I suppose it was passable. 

If it counts, I’ve read his original comic, which is hard to classify as better or worse. The characterization was blander, but they only had something like half a dozen pages where not much happened. I wasn’t impressed with what storyline there was, either.

Whoa, I was not aware of a comic. D'you remember any details?

Of course. The basic premise was some all-powerful giant named Na Ture (I had a post I never finished about the name of that giant and the giant’s nemesis, actually, that never got posted before I gave my word to stop, actually) with seven rings each with a power based on some sort of element. I forget what exactly happened to him and his nemesis Hadiis de Ville. 

The protagonist was, from what I recall, according to Ryuu, based on himself, so I assumed a self-insert. And that happens. Most people have done a self-insert. I never actually wrote one, to my memory, but I played pretend when I was in early middle school as that sort of character, for ReBoot. I just admitted that. I kind of hate myself for it, but I’ll leave it in, because I’m not better than anyone else. 

Anyway, average story. Bullied outcast kid discovers another, hidden part of the world and gets some sort of powers. In the beginning, he’s getting bullied by a snotty rich kid because of some girl, based, I assume, on Lady-Zelda. You know, the kind of thing you might see in the Beginning of Jumanji. 

“Stay away from my girl.” 

“We’re just friends.” 

“Not anymore, you’re not.”

The bully’s friends do most of the work, victim gets trashed. I assume later girl-being-fought-over would’ve later shown up to check on him. Not to compare Ryuu’s comic to Jumanji, it was just the first example of that sort of theme that came to mind. Jumanji’s a good movie, by the way, and I think you like Robin Williams. Dunno HOW I got that impression, though.

Is there anything in particular you'd suggest Ryuu read (I know “everything” is ideal but that's not going to happen)? Either because you think it'd help or because you'd think it'd be interesting.
Actually! Currently, I’m reading a book called Arena. It’s a Christian allegory with sci-fi elements. I know what you’re thinking. Me, reading sci-fi? Yes, it happens. Zelazny writes it, so I read it. I’m running out of excuses not to read Piers Anthony. Eh, I guess I’ll pick him up after I finish the handful of books I bought last month. 

Arena is… well, I haven’t gotten around to reading much of Pilgrim’s Progress, but it seems vaguely akin to that. Not as obvious, but it’s not really subtle. It’s not obnoxious about it, but it’s not subtle. 

It’s not the best. So far, I’d say the writing is… fair, I guess. Then again, I read R.L. Stine, still. He was my favorite writer when I was in the second grade and I recognize his flaws, now, and writing for a young audience is no excuse, so there’s no shame in reading lower quality work for enjoyment, in some cases, especially if you recognize its flaws. But, I’d recommend this more for his enjoyment than for critical reading, anyway. 

I’d also like to recommend the Tao te Ching, because I think reading other holy texts is healthy for spiritual growth, and it’s a fairly short one. I recommend everyone read at least chapter 49 in at least three translations. They’re easily found free online.

Obligatory favorite Zelda game/character/race/dungeon question! What's your favorite Zelda game, character, race, and dungeon? (YES I AM THAT CREATIVE.)

In order: 

Majora’s Mask, because it’s dark and unnerving and I’m a horror junkie. Also, I love masks and playing with masks as a symbol. Second-and-third: Wind Waker and Adventure of Link, because I love the water and because it’s pure evil, respectively.

On that note, The Happy Mask Salesman. He’s just perfect. He might be evil. I don’t actually care. Close second-and-third: Sheik and Linebeck.

The Sheikah are my favorite race, because there’s so many interesting things for me to play with, and because of the answer to your last question. Second-and-third are the minish and… maybe the Garo, or maybe the Subrosians. I like secretive, mysterious things. Also, cute things. Honorable mentions to the dekus and miniblins, because I wasn’t sure if they counted, because they’re typically enemies.

Shadow Temple in Ocarina of Time, along with Under the Well. I am a sick creature. I love how evil and awful they are. I love the idea of the Sheikah, essentially enslaved by Hyrule, hiding the bloody, nightmarish past of Hyrule and its royal family. A kingdom built from the bones of others. Screaming nightmares lurking under a pleasant town… 

Second-and-third: the Tower of the Gods in Wind Waker (Gee, I wonder why that would be) and the Stone Tower Temple because it’s just so cool. And that theme is so wonderful. Honorable mentions go to the Forest Temple in Ocarina of Time for the creepy theme, and the Temple of Droplets from Minish Cap, because, well, I guess I like tiny things.

And your least favorite Zelda game/character/race/dungeon?
In order: 

Twilight Princess. Second-and-third: Twilight Princess, and Twilight Princess. WAY TO EMOTE, WOODFACE. YOUR SCENERY SHOULD ALSO BE MORE BROWN. 

That’s a hard one. I think this is where people expect me to say Tingle or maybe Navi, since those seem to be the fandom punching bags. Actually, I quite like Navi. Hm… maaaaybe Tatl. I know she’s more juvenile not just in personality but in actuality, and she mellows out later, but I don’t have a better answer, and I never quite got over how snotty she was. I like her bell sounds, though, and I understand, mostly, why she’s like that. 

And… I don’t hate them by any means, but I’m going to go ahead and say Hylians, anyway, just because of the whole hegemonic, enslaving anyone (anyone who is a Sheikah) born in Kakariko village thing. Unless I can answer enemies, here, in which case everything undead, because I hate the undead and they freak me the hell out because I hate them and they’re the worst, and there’s a romantic story with zombies, now?! Wtf is wrong with people, necrophilia is the grossest thing I can ever imagine, ever. So, I guess, ReDead, Stalfos, etc. 

The Temple of the Ocean King. Again, I don’t… really hate it. I just don’t want to do it over and over and over again, yanno? Of course you know. I think that’s why you hated the game. I still loved the game, actually. And whatever that one temple was in A Link to the Past with the Moldorm, because you can get knocked off and you’ll have to start the boss over. It wasn’t a huge problem, but sometimes I’m bad at video games, okay? And it’s the principle of the thing. I don’t care if it was my fault.

When Your Characters STILL Fucking Suck

So Ryuu uploaded a new sketch: 

Oh fuck's sake. Here we go again.

 

I'll leave the actual art critique to everyone else, because I'm just here to call your attention to Ryuu's comments:

“Hey, everyone. I'm not dead. Just been kinda going through some... trying times, including confidence.”

If anyone's even slightly paying attention, it's pretty easy to tell he's not dead. He comments on things and has uploaded a journal since his last few sketches were posted. If he's doing this while dead, we have a serious problem that needs to be remedied immediately. I recommend buying a flamethrower, because the zombie apocalypse is officially under way. Your friendly tip of the day: the undead don't like fire, guys.

But dude, no one really gives a crap that your confidence is in the shitter. If your confidence goes to hell because of, what, six people not liking your art then you're going to have fun trying to become a professional illustrator.

“Hey, hold on," Ryuu's fan squad whines. “How do you know Ryuu wants to be an illustrator? Where do you get off making that assumption? He's never said that!”

To which I reply “BITE ME,” because he did:

His excuse for using notebook paper has been "I can't afford a sketchbook".
Sounds like it's time to find a new lie.

If Ryuu thinks we're being mean to him, he's gonna have a bad time when he applies to art school. It's generic anime-style art and shitty ripoff characters. The best thing you can hope for in this case is getting laughed out of the room. You will not get accepted into any credible institution of art in this country with your shit.

Back to the comments:

“I've been editing things on Vassi as he (along with many others) try to go to a more original story route, than LoZ. I hope the edits are all favorable.”

I'd say I hate to break it to you, but that would be a lie: these edits (if you can even call them that) suck and I'm not sure where the fuck I'm supposed to start with this.

How about here: he's making it sound like this is an overhaul that's taking a lot of time and effort, but a quick comparison with his Grandmaster's Counterstrike sketch from last October shows only minimal changes.

He's missing the dumbass pieces of cloth he had on his boots, he now has asinine epaulettes, the Sheikah symbol is gone, and he's replaced it with something he ripped from The Elder Scrolls: Oblivion.Because if you're going to half-ass a character and rip something off, you may as well half-ass the rip and steal from something extremely popular.

BUT WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT FOR AN ORIGINAL UNIVERSE. THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE. THE POINT IS TO CREATE THINGS YOURSELF, NOT RUN AROUND RIPPING WHATEVER YOU LIKE FROM EXISTING FRANCHISES. FANDOMS ARE NOT A PLAGIARISM BUFFET.

... anyway, this doesn't really qualify as an extensive overall. We can still see he's a giant rip and the biggest change (removal of the Sheikah symbol) has been replaced with another damn rip.

The edits are pretty much worthless. Ripping more shit to fix a character who's already a rip is the dumbest thing I have ever heard.

Two, that “original story” thing. Just because you make a character in an original setting doesn't mean you can rip off things from other fandoms. It's still art theft, you're still lazy, and we're still going to call you on it.

Also, Ryuu's previous characters from original settings are Crosshair and Orion. The former's a ripoff of Samus Aran + Rei Ayanami from Evangelion (with added space legs!), the latter's a blatant self insert + Sora from Kingdom Hearts. If this is his idea of originality, Vassi's just going to get worse.

(As is Ryo. Which makes this squid feel just a teensy bit queasy.)

Look, he still has a ripoff name and a ripoff appearance. If you're going to move him into an original story, you should at least take the opportunity to change that much. It doesn't make him any less of a stolen sack of crap just because he's in a different universe. Theft is theft.

Three, there's genuine reason to wonder if he's doing this because he wants to or because his girlfriend is moving some of her characters into original universe settings.

See, before this picture was sketched (based on the date on that thing, anyway) Ryuu made a comment on one of LZ's most recent pieces:

If you're a kissass and you know it, fart a Keese...

This looks like standard Ryuu-tripe at first, I know. Lots of asskissing and Ryuu managed to shoehorn his vomit-inducing sue spawn into something that has nothing to do with his characters. What a surprise.

But that second-to-last sentence is a different story. That second to last sentence is actually fucking terrifying, and is pretty much exhibit A of why we say Ryuu's a creepy stalker.  And it, you know.

 Gives the impression that Ryuu's only doing this because LZ's doing it.

That's the wrong motivation. You should do this because you genuinely want to, not because your relationship with your girlfriend has been rocky for a while and you think doing everything she does will win her back... or whatever the hell his logic is.

I'm almost certain he's not doing this because he thinks it needs to be done, though. Rinku and I actually just had a discussion about this the other day, but I'm gonna paraphrase the whole thing for you guys to chew on:

It's kind of interesting that this is a hobby for LZ, but she's the one who's actually practicing, trying to improve, trying new things, and asking for advice. She's grown considerably as an artist and deserves praise for that.

But the wanna-be professional is doing the exact opposite of the hobbyist. Mr. Would-Be Illustrator keeps ripping off everything, making excuses, drawing the same doofy expression on every single character, and riding his girlfriend's coattails. He hasn't grown at all as an artist (you could actually make a fairly good argument that he got worse once he started ripping off Felsus) but expects praise.

I'm hardly the most foresighted individual on the planet but even I can see that if he keeps this up, there's a very rude awakening in his future.

Maybe he should try to stop ripping every fucking thing off because he thinks it's cool. Maybe he should actually practice. Maybe he should spend ten bucks or less on unlined paper.

Maybe none of this will actually happen and he'll cry about us being mean.

I'm putting ten rupees on the last option, personally.

Geddit? A-Head?

After several months of inactivity, Ryuu finally posted a couple new pics, one of which was The New Path Ahead. Ryuu calls it a practice piece, which is fine. Every artist needs practice, and goodness knows he certainly does. That doesn't mean I'm not going to pick it apart, though, because you're not going to fix mistakes if you aren't aware of them.

Surprisingly, the picture shows a little improvement. I was impressed, at first, that the line art was relatively lively and considerably easier to read, probably because the silhouette is clearer, he erased a lot of the sketch lines, and it looks like he attempted to use line weights.

From the looks of his other pics, though, this appears to be completely accidental. Pity.

The pose isn't very good. It looks okay from the waist up, but Ryuu's attempt at a strong, intimidating, determined walk is ruined by the fact that he's walking like a tightrope walker, with one foot exactly in front of the other, and with weight evenly distributed over both feet (which you can tell because his hips and shoulders are both parallel to the ground). Instead of looking strong, he looks like he could topple over with the slightest push.

Nobody walks like this in real life... except tightrope walkers. Maybe if Ryuu tried to learn about how the human body worked, instead of simply copying the superficial styles of one or two of his favorite artists, this wouldn't be so much of a problem.

It also looks like he's trodding over his own toes, by the way. Lern 2 perspective.

That sword is actually sorta kinda cool ish... which makes me wonder where he ripped it from. Sorry if you don't think that's fair, but when you've been shown to have ripped off every single thing that looks even the slightest bit interesting in your work, you've effectively wrecked the trust of your audience.

What interested me the most, however, was this comment:

_{Yes, I know his head is a bit small... I didn't try to do that, but his face came out well enough I didn't want to ruin it.}

The average adult male is usually drawn between seven-and-a-half and eight heads tall. The latter has Classical roots and is often used to give the figure an air of grace and nobility. Superheroes can be even taller, sometimes nine or even ten heads.

In Japan, depending on the style, adult men are often drawn a little bit shorter, at between five-and-a-half and seven heads.

Ganondorf stands at about seven heads tall, which is pretty average for Western art and puts him on the tall side for Japanese art.

Link -- in Ocarina of Time, at least -- is roughly six heads tall. Since Ryuu is supposed to be a clone of Link, you'd think that would make him six heads tall as well, but for some stupid reason the goddesses decided to pull him around like a Stretch Armstrong doll, because apparently Link was too much of a twig boy for Ryuu's taste.

Actually, despite Ryuu's complaint about the head size, Ryo seems to vary pretty widely in height from six-and-a-half to seven-and-a-half heads tall, probably more in pictures that I didn't bother to measure. He's seven heads tall in this one. As well as in The New Path Ahead:

Which, again, makes him either average or tall, depending on the style. Still well within reason. This makes sense when you consider that Link is only a few inches taller than Zelda, while Ryuu has stated that Zelda only comes up to Ryo's collarbone.

All in all, I'm not really sure what Ryuu is complaining about, since the head size isn't even unusual, and we don't actually know what a standard size for Ryo's head is, since Ryuu knows nothing about consistency -- except how to be consistently mediocre.

So then why does his head look so small?

BECAUSE THE REST OF HIM IS RIDICULOUSLY HUGE.

This is something that even Ryuu recognizes. For instance, look at the size of his hands and feet. Now compare them to the size of his head. Compare them to the size of Zelda's head. Squids and I often joke about how he could cup an entire person's face with one hand and crush/suffocate them to death. Those things are lethal weapons, yo. They're also twice the size that they should be.

Why is that?

Because if you shrink them down to a size that better fits the proportion of his head and height...

 ...it looks absofuckinglutely silly. Positively Liefeldian, even -- though I think Ryuu actually draws better than Liefeld, which is pretty hilarious.

Ryo's wrists and ankles are bigger than his hands and feet. He could hogtie a pair of linebackers and haul them away on those shoulders of his. There's absolutely no way that Ryo has a normal human's bone structure, because if he did, not only have his shoulders dislocated, but with that much muscle packed under his arms he wouldn't even be able to reach his own dick to pee.

This is all so obvious that even Ryuu knew that he had to compensate for all that width. So he gave Ryo a huge pair of ears, made the hands and feet bigger, and then made up an ad hoc explanation that they were for hearing and grip and stability, even though the cliché is that bigger hands and feet are a sign of clumsiness.

Okay, so what if we do the reverse, ignore the muscles, and draw the head to match the proportions of the hands and feet?

...I sure am saying 'hands and feet' a lot.

We get a short-ass Ryo who's barely five-and-a-half heads tall because half his chest is missing, is what. He's shorter than Link at this point.

Which, you know, in itself is fine. Being a short-ass person, myself -- a staggering three heads tall -- I think the idea of a short man bulking it up has the potential to be funny and interesting. But this is a little too clever for Ryuu, and would involve -- gasp! -- acknowledging a flaw. It clearly wasn't what he was going for, since he routinely presents Ryo as some kind of gentle giant who towers over Zelda and everyone else. And, you know, half his chest is missing.

All in all, this just demonstrates the problems one faces when you have no idea what you're doing and no concept of standard anatomy. You end up with caricatures of caricatures without even realizing that you're doing it. When your successes turn out to be nothing more than "happy accidents" it's little wonder that shit like this happens.

And by the way, while I understand the fear of erasing something you did well and having it turn out worse when you redraw it, that's usually a sign that you need to work on it. And you aren't going to get there by not drawing it. It doesn't matter how "nice" his face looks if it throws the rest of the picture completely off.

Mini Anatomy Rant #1

Mini Anatomy Rant #1: Ryo Can't Count.

 

Ebony Dark’Ness Demensia Raven Way here with a short, light-hearted article (as light hearted as you can get mocking a racist sexist homophobic bigot anyways) bringing a new series to the table. Yes, it’s not part of the Ryo in Denial series, I am very busy working and don’t have time between my job and my Draco Blow-Up doll to write as long as an article as I want, and I don’t want to pump out half-assed work. That’s what Ryo does. I want to be nothing like Ryo. At all.

No, this article is the first in a short series of rants about Ryo and his shitty anatomy. Why? Because this shit bothers me. A lot. It’s so bad and it’s so in your goddamn face that I can’t take it anymore. So I’m going to be doing some mini-rants on how bad it is. This first one is starting with something very basic: Numbers.

Ryo doesn’t know what numbers are apparently, nor can he use them properly.

Why do I say this? Well, take a look at this.

 

This! Is! PROPER ANATOMYYYYYYY!!!!!! *Kicks Ryo into a hole*

This is a “six pack.” It is aptly named a “six pack” for one small reason.

There are six of them.

Six



No, Not ten, Ryo. Six.

 

No, not Eight. Six.

No, Ryo, six. There’s six of them.

SIX!!!

SIIIIIIIIIIX!!!!!! (also what the fuck is with Ryo and giving Ryuu that fucking frowny face? It’s not sexy, he looks like he really has to take a shit.)

NOT ELEVEN HOW THE FUCK DID YOU EVEN PULL THAT OFF?!?!?! Or is it 12? 14? Ryo, chances are if you can count up to 14 abs? Drawing: You’re doing it wrong.

In conclusion? Ryo is just as fucking dumb when it comes to numbers as he is when it comes to…. Anything except being a goddamn BIGOT. That or he somehow thinks the number six is eeeeeeeviiiiiillll and must be avoided at all costs because of the whole “number of the beast” thing. Ryo, your shitty artwork is the closer to Satan than the number 6 is. And so is your anti-gay bullshit.

Ebony Dark’Ness Demensia Raven Way signing off. For now.

The Tale of the White Bigot Knight

EBONY IN “THAT ONE WHERE SHE CALLS OUT THE FUNDIE BITCH WHO KISSES RYUU’S ASS ALL THE TIME”

HI EVERYONE. Ebony Dark’ness Awww fuck it here giving you yet another article that’s not part of the “Ryuu in Denial” series because fuck continuity. I’m sorry but recent events have stepped on a raw fuckin’ nerve and I’m about to splatter the brains of the online reputation of one of Ryuu’s fangirls all over the fuckin’ wall. No, there won’t be pictures like all my other articles because I’m not fuckin’ around this time.

I’m pissed, ladies and gentlemen. That’s all there is to it.

This is not meant to be a funny article (though some of you will no doubt piss your pants laughing at how bad I rip this fuckin’ bitch a new one) and it’s calling a stupid, bigoted lady-pig out on her stupid, bigoted lady-pig bullshit.

The lady-pig in question is none other than a prep (as us goths like to call them) by the name of “Stormsworder.” No, I’m not giving you the link to her DA because you can find it your damn self. Just type her stupid name before “Deviantart.com” and hit enter. It’s not hard, figure it out Copernicus. All I know about this girl is that she has the same bigoted views as Ryuu’s (hence all her white-knighting and ass-kissing) and that she’s apparently suffering from writers-block which I HOPE never goes away because her writing SUCKS DONKEY BALLS.

But I’m not here to just spout random insults for no reason. That’s not my style. My point here is to rant about one thing this person is doing that is REALLY upsetting to me: She’s making Christians look bad. Very bad. She’s reinforcing the stereotype along with Ryuu. Oh, and she’s also being a fucking hypocrite. Allow me a few paragraphs to explain.

First of all, I’m sure it’s not (or at least shouldn’t be) a secret that I’m the token Christian on the blog. No, I don’t go to church to eat crackers or drink wine every single Sunday. No I don’t say a “hail mary” everytime I say a bad word. No I don’t even say grace before every meal. But that does not a good Christian make. Ryuu and Stormsworder prove that. They are bigoted, hateful, disrespecting and love to judge people. Yes they may go to church every weekend and thank god for whatever they put in (or whatever comes out of) their mouth.

But ladies and gentlemen lemme tell you something. You may say that whatever you say is in the name of god. Or in the name of Buddha. Or in the name of Yoda or Barney the Dinosaur or I don’t give a fuckiuss from the desert of tittyfucks. But the fact is, if what you’re saying is shit, whoever you claim it to be from doesn’t change it from that. Shit is shit. And it’s your shit, folks. Not gods, not fuckiuss’, not the potted plant on the other side of the rooms. Yours. Your mouth, your shit.

... only one, I swear.

Saying the shit coming out of your mouth is from god is no more valid than saying “I have a dream” was said by Abraham Lincoln in Star Wars: Revenge of the Crab People during his epic Katana battle with Lex Luthor. It just. Doesn’t. Mean. Anything. Especially when what you’re saying goes against the bottom line of the teachings the person you’re supposedly quoting tried to hammer in. Saying Jesus said “Gay people are disgusting, icky and just plain wrong” is just as believable and likely as saying Rosa Parks got kicked off the bus for screaming “White Power” at the top of her lungs.

It just didn’t happen. Sorry, guys.

But what DID Jesus say? Well, here’s just a few examples.

“Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these."

“He that is among you without sin, let him cast the first stone.”

So, in layman’s terms, A.) God is far more concerned that you treat everyone with the respect you’d want for yourself than he is about John fucking Harold and B.) Unless you are perfect, keep your fuckin’ mouth shut. And Ryuu admits he’s not perfect. Well, if you call saying what people want to hear so they’ll take pity on your pathetic whining “Admitting.” But close e-fuckin’-nough.

So why is it that Bitchface one and Bitchface two feel they have the right to hate on gays? And other races? And anyone who is not white, straight, cisgendered men? Because they think they’re gods perfect fucking children and they can say whatever they want in his name.

IF YOU’RE BREAKING THE MAIN COMMANDMENT FROM JESUS YOU ARE NOT FOLLOWING HIS TEACHINGS. JUST SAYING.

Yes, you are children of god. But so is the gay guy down the street. And the “rude” Indian guy in Britain you disliked so much. And every black guy you called a “negro.” And the women you order into your kitchens to make you pie and send to walmart to buy your lined paper for your “professional” art. And the people of other religions, who aren’t necessarily wrong just because they don’t share our faith. And yes, even the foul-mouthed Goth chick writing this. We’re all children of God. And you have NO RIGHT to differentiate between us. God loves all his children, even if you don’t. And nothing makes him more upset than when a group of his children decide they’re his favorites and spit on the rest of his children.

And before you pull the “well yeah he agrees with us because you’re hating on us” card, no. I’m not “hating” on you. I’m calling you out on your egotistical bullshit and trying to show you that how you treat others is WRONG. And just because there are a few of us who are brave enough to defend the people who need defending doesn’t make us the “bad guys”, “trolls” or whatever else you guys want to call us.

I’m not here because I hate you. I’m here because I love all my friends. Be them Gay, Straight, atheist, Christian, Jewish, Hindu, Muslim or whatever else. Regardless of Gender or Ethnicity. I love my friends. And what you’re doing to them, SAYING about them, makes me angry. And what makes me ANGRIER is that you’re slapping Gods name on your insults.

When you hurt my friends, you’re hurting me. And I’m here to try and make you stop. And if I have to drag your egos through a minefield and toss them into an organ grinder, I will. If I have to bring your bigotry to light and show everyone the pigs you’re being, I will. If I have to start a fucking Encyclopedia Dramatica article about you, I will. I’ll do whatever it takes. I’ll destroy your reputations if it means my gay, lesbian, trans and bi friends get a break from your shit.

Don’t believe me? Just try me.

No, I won’t make shit up about you. I haven’t been. NONE OF US have been. We’re taking shit YOU GUYS SAID and bringing it to the attention of others. That’s all there is to it. Didn’t want people knowing you said gays were “icky and just plain wrong”? You shouldn’t have fuckin’ said it. And you shouldn’t keep defending it if it’s such an embarrassment to you guys.

And for fuck sakes you shouldn’t have started the whole “Straight Pride” movement. You know who tried something like that? The White Supremacists and their “White Power” stance against African Americans who just wanted to be free from slavery. And don’t say “you can’t compare those two.” What you’re doing to Gays is what the KKK do to African Americans, the Jewish, Women, ect ect. Straight Pride" for protecting the right to stand against gay rights is no different than "White Pride" for protecting the right to stand against African-American rights.

You’re in the same league as these people. Don’t you dare think anything otherwise. And if you don’t want to be called a bigot you shouldn’t act like a bigot.

OH, SPEAKING OF WHICH, HERE’S MY SECOND POINT TO THIS RANT.

Your hypocrisy. It’s absolutely disgusting.

Stormsworder recently contacted our friend’s tumblr Stupid Shit Ryuu Says. And yes dear, we know it was you. If you’re going to call us out on shit stop being a pussy about it and confront us as yourself because we’re going to figure out who you are eventually. But this is what the arrogant bitch had to say:

“So... are you guys ever going to stop trolling this guy and just leave him alone? Since I think it's pretty atrocious as human beings to mercilessly target someone.”

Okay, so… It’s not atrocious as “humans” that you guys mercilessly targeted gay people (some of who were your FRIENDS) and called them “Icky” and “wrong” and constantly citing your distaste for who they were, hiding behind your religion and slapping god’s name on your every word because you guys are such fucking PUSSIES that you can’t own up to them and call them your own.

… But it’s atrocious for us to directly quote you and say what you’re doing is wrong.

Uh huh.

Also, just because you say we’re “trolling” doesn’t make us trolls. And I’m fessing up to being a SUPER MEGA TROLL from time to time. I take a lot of pleasure in the art of trolling. And I would NEVER group what we’re doing here in that category.

There’s a large, mega, super king Kamehameha difference between trolling and directly quoting someone and calling them out on their bullshit.

What the Pirate Community (which you incorrectly affiliated with us) did was trolling. Posting pictures of a pregnant lady and saying that’s what you did to Zelda just to piss you off was trolling. Hacking your account and posting gay porn and swearwords is fucking hilarious Trolling. What we are doing is, in no way, trolling. It’s showing everyone what you really are, using things YOU HAVE SAID.

Just FYI? Jesus also said "Judge not lest you be judged. If you judge, so will you be judged." Ryuu is the most judgemental person I've ever know. He judges gays, trans, lesbians, bisexuals, ethnic minorities in and outside of the US, women and even fat people. The only people he hasn't judged in some negative way are himself and his daddy. Guess what? He's getting judged right the fuck back. And so are you.

You claim you want this all to end. You claim that we're immature trolls with no lives. You claim that you and fuckface just want peace from us. You also claim that we're cowards for not only keeping the blog going but for not confronting Ryuu one on one in private (which we've done with no success.) And yet here you are, publicly attacking us while hiding your face with the fan of anonymity. (which is disturbingly thin, we can still see you.) You wanted to have a presence with us so bad? Well good fuckin’ news: here’s your debut article.

Just so that I make my position clear? Here’s me ripping apart a post you made back in 2010 where you ran at us half-cocked thinking you’d make us feel bad. FYI I did feel bad. For you. For making such an idiot out of yourself. But then I remembered that doing just that is something Ryuu’s proud of, so you must take pride in being stupid too. Here, just to soothe your ego, I’ll tear your arguments apart and by the time I’m done your picture is gonna be right next to the “idiot” definition in the dictionary.

“Alright, this is getting to a point where you guys just need to stop.”

Why?

“There's a difference between constructive criticism and just plain out trolling.”

We’re not trolling. And Ryuu’s far past “constructive criticism.” If that was all it took to fix him we wouldn’t fuckin’ be here.

“And just because he didn't come up with a method of creating characters like you did makes him a bad writer/creator.”

He IS a bad writer/creator. All of his characters are either rip-offs of actual, licensed characters that people took effort to come up with or two characters smooshed together. And then he makes them perfect. That’s not talent. At all. That’s Anti-talent.

“Everyone starts off somewhere, but in time they work on creating what they desire.”

First of all, Ryuu hasn’t moved ANYWHERE since he started. He’s still pumping out the same half-assed garbage drawings he’s been doing since he was 14. And “what they desire” isn’t always good. In fact, what Ryuu desires is a god-like self-insert. That’s the epitome of bad writing.

“Now, his characters aren't some Sonic recolors like you tend to find all over the web (and even have funny YouTube rant videos about).”

He took shadow the hedgehog, gave him a few more spikes, made him a different color and called him “Spike.” (Because he’s just as able to come up with decent names as he is at getting pregnant without a uterus.) That, my friend, is a recolor. And I’m VERY surprised there are no videos mocking his shit, it’s terrible!!!

“Insult Christianity as a whole? Listen, it's his own convictions (and my own as well) that we aren't fond of certain things such as homosexuality because of our beliefs.”

Fuck your beliefs. Seriously. They have nothing to do with Christianity. Christianity preaches love and acceptance, not “WTF is this, Sodom and Gomorra? GAYS ARE ICKY WICKY SICKY!!!”

“When you point out how he didn't accept a gay character, it's because of our belief system.”

Which is horrifically flawed. And again, has nothing to do with Christianity. At all.

“We have a right to do it, just as I would have a right to deny a person to play on our clan gaming server because they're using an improper name.”

You could argue the same for banning African Americans. Seriously, take your rants about gays and change the words “Homosexual” to “Black.” Just see how lovely you sound saying “Black people are icky and just plain wrong!” and yes, the two sentiments ARE COMPARABLE. There’s no difference.

“When you own the site, you can do what you wish. Don't like it? Bring it up in a proper complaint to the person and work something out.”

“I CAN BE A RACIST BECAUSE IT’S MY TREEHOUSE!!! NO BLACK PEOPLE ALLOWED!!! AND NO GIRLS EITHER, GIRLS ARE ICKY AND GROSS AND WE DON’T WANT THEIR COOTIES!!!” Yeah, real fucking mature.

“Not closed to diplomacy? Look at this entire website. Why would someone honestly want to talk to you when you have a blog about how much they fail at stuff?”

Ryuu does fail at stuff. But that’s a moot point. We’d feel bad if what we were saying about him (and you) was unreasonable, but it’s not. And maybe Ryuu doesn’t wanna talk to us because he’s scared we’re going to call him out on his bullshit face to face rather than behind his back? (and possibly turn him gay while we’re at it? Because you know, that’s a rational argument too.)

“That's far from being civilized and proper, seriously. Think about it.”

Like you know what being Proper is like. Here’s a hint: Calling gay people “icky” isn’t proper. Acting like a pouty two year old when a gay person comes along isn’t Proper. Drinking your tea with your pinkie-finger sticking out doesn’t cover up your ugly inner homophobe. And neither does your lack of swearing. I’m more proper than you at this point because I treat people like they’re fucking PEOPLE.

“Not everyone is like how you act. You can't know how a person will react.“

We do know how Ryuu will act: like a baby who didn’t want to be called out on his crap. Like you. And no, everyone’s not the same. Some people accept people for who they are, and some people are BIGOTS.

“You call him a bigot, which would mean he's intolerant of others.”

HE IS A BIGOT AND HE IS INTOLERANT OF OTHERS. HE’S SAID SO HIMSELF THEN ORDERED PEOPLE TO BE “TOLERANT OF HIS INTOLERANCE.” FUCK YOU.

“He's actually a pretty tolerant guy, and he doesn't go around making whole things to bash others.”

BULLSHIT. He made an entire TOPIC Calling gay people “icky and just plain wrong” than had a full temper tantrum when someone made a gay character. You’re a terrible liar.

“THIS is a prime example of intolerance.”

Damn right we’re intolerant. We’re intolerant of him being an intolerant asshole. That’s not exactly an irrational reaction.

“Just because he started out with his characters one way doesn't mean he's a copy-cat.”

So just because his character started out as dark-link doesn’t make him a copy-cat? No it doesn’t, actually. Copy-cats don’t BLATANTLY ALTER AN ACTUAL CANON CHARACTER AND SUE THEM UP, CALLING IT THEIR OWN. That is faaaaar beyond the pale of “copy-cat.”

“If that WAS the case, it would be like one of those horrible "self-insert" Zelda fanfics that plague fanfiction.net with horrible writing and pathetic plot.”

…… It’s not like one of those horrible “self-insert” Zelda fanfics that plague fanfiction.net with horrible writing and pathetic plot. It IS one of those horrible “self-insert” Zelda fanfics that plague fanfiction.net with horrible writing and pathetic plot.

You’re so good at pointing out bullshit I almost don’t have to do it for you.

“Now, why do you expect him to find this? What was your whole true goal in making this?”

We are HOPING that you two will haul your heads out of your asses and realize what dicks you’ve been all this time. Until that happens, we’ll keep going, too.

“Because first sight at seeing this, the only thing you really come across is a little gang of immature trolls.”

…. You seriously called us “immature” even after Ryuu’s little “Gays are icky!!” tantrum? Seriously? Not to mention that you approached us a while ago for a chat, yet when Cala took you up on your offer you ran away with your tail between your legs. That’s pretty fucking immature too, isn’t it? Little miss Nicky Nicky Nine Doors? And the time you bitched out someone who had nothing to do with our blog?

“yes, there is some critique, but this isn't purely critique. If you wanted to do actual helpful critique, you wouldn't have used language that seems more of bashing.”

We know how far “Asking Nicely” gets us with Ryuu. NOWHERE. And quite frankly, I don’t see kissing Ryuu’s ass and pussy footing around his serious issues like he’s said people should doing it either. He deserves a good punch in the ego.

“He shouldn't have to come to your territory after the actions you've taken. Honestly, I say he shouldn't. Talk to him one on one or something, not on the internet for all to see where this can be some big side war. Those never end well.”

Really? We should have to chase him around for an apology? And we shouldn’t let everyone know what a disgusting pig he is being and just let him attack people behind the scenes and make it feel like it’s their fault? Really? No. He wants us to stop, he fuckin’ comes to us and gives us a reason to. Fuck you and your “OMG I DUN WANNA WAAAAAAR” bullshit. If you didn’t want a “war” you shouldn’t have started one by attacking your friends and other people for their sexual orientation. (I assure you we are not at war with you. You’re picking fights with us and we’re just sitting back here shaking our heads at you. And we’re good to go at this for a looooooooong time so get comfortable.)

“Just my two cents on this matter.”

Your two cents made no sense. You shoulda just kept your fuckin’ mouth shut, sweetheart.

Reading further, you say your own brother is gay. I think it’s pretty disgusting that you’d come onto OUR page, put your own brother on the line saying “WE DON’T HATE HIM WE HATE WHAT HE’S DOING.” Lemme give you something sincere from the bottom of my heart.

FUCK. YOU.

I’d understand what you said if it was about your brother, I dunno… Robbing people and getting into trouble with the law. But he just happens to love other men. WHAT’S WRONG WITH THAT? And I bet your family shames him to no end. I bet if he were to get married, none of you would show up because you can’t handle two men on top of the wedding cake.

You, of ALL people, having a family member who is gay, should understand that what you’re saying about gay people is WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG!!! And don’t pin it on your fuckin’ faith. You, Ryuu and everyone else with your ideas are just fucking intolerant pigs who, to keep up appearances, claim that intolerance to come from God.

MAYBE GOD BROUGHT A GAY FAMILY MEMBER INTO YOUR LIFE SO YOU’D CHANGE YOUR MIND AND STOP BEING IGNORANT. EVER THINK OF THAT?

Maybe God wanted you to experience the hurt and pain of being singled out for something you CANNOT CONTROL and being called “Gross” and “Icky” and “Just plain wrong” when you’re just like everyone else on the inside. Unfortunately it seems it didn’t work. You’re not ending the hurt. You’re adding to it.

It disgusts me that, while your poor brother who deserves nothing but acceptance and tolerance is being hurt by people like Ryuu, you’re on here DEFENDING RYUU’S BIGOTRY.

I have a challenge for you. Ask your brother. Ask him how much it hurts when he knows, in the back of his mind, that no matter how much you claim to “love” him, you don’t accept him for who he is. How much it hurts to know you’d love nothing but to change something about him because he’s dysfunctional or broken. Ask him how it feels to be the “wrong” one in the family.

Ask him and see how long it takes him to break down into tears and tell you about the unending pain and agony. And it won’t take him long. And I hope you feel EXTREMELY horrible about yourself. Hopefully horrible enough to change.

Then, AND ONLY THEN, can you come into OUR house and tell US how inhuman and “atrocious” we are being for defending innocent people like your brother from people like Ryuu. I guarantee you, if god exists like Jesus says he does, he loves your brother a fuckload more than you and Ryuu do. He loves him because he’s gay, not in spite of it.

Until then, this is Ebony leaving with a smile, a wink, and a sincere “go fuck yourself.”