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| How much time did Ryuu spend writing this up and why did he think anybody would possibly care? |
This will eventually be cross posted at my Zelda/Ryuu-oriented WordPress, Calamareye's Pond, but for now I've got Rinku's permission to post it here.
If you're not familiar with how I do this for whatever reason, my comments are in italicized Verdana and are in purple. Ryuu's story itself is in the default font with no additional stylization.
I make no claim to Ryo or anything associated with him.
Thousands of years ago, the virgin land was dwelt upon by two destinct
C: Proper spelling and grammar are for nerds. If you wanna be one of the cool kids, write like this!
tribes: Wood Elves and Blood Elves.
C: Once upon a time, there were two different ORIGINAL RACES DO NOT STEAL, Elder Scrolls ripoffs and World of Warcraft ripoffs. Ryuu you lazy bastard.
The Wood Elves worshipped the Deity of Fire,
C: ... Not a nature god or a wood god or even a sun god. A fire god. Fire is a thing that regularly torches woods. Hm. Seems legit.
Ryukenden.
C: That's a plot point I didn't see coming, the squid lied.
They prayed to him and praised him for their lives, be it in peace or be it in trials. They loved their overseeing one.
C: ... So I misread this as 'They loved their overseer'. Ryo totally treats his worshipers as slaves, I bet.
The Blood Elves worshipped the realm of the Nether and its demons.
C: I don't know much about Warcraft but a cursory google search and a couple of questions to people who know what they're talking about indicate that blood elves in Warcraft are addicted to something awfully close to demonic energy. I don't know if Ryuu's ever played World of Warcraft but I do know Genzoman draws a lot of WoW shit. Is this a coincidence?
It's Ryuu. Probably not.
They believed only darkness had strength.
C: Then they must LOVE Ryo.
The Blood Elves despised their Wood Elven cousins for their peace and prosperity,
C: and were clearly written by some lazy bastard who wants to murder everyone with horrible cliche overdoses.
thinking their Deity was weak,
C: But they love all kinds of darkness and evil things. Ryo is right up their alley!
for his wrath never poured upon them.
C: So, uh, Ryuu's implying that the wood elves worship this asshole is because he 'poured his wrath upon them'. That's not creepy and cause for concern at all.
They sought to bring a more worthy ruler to this land.
C: I am totally on their side already.
They toiled to complete their work and the Nether was open to the world. From it came the horrible Dagoth-Bal,
C: I read that as Dangly Balls a couple of times, so now I imagine him as an eight foot tall scrotum wearing the papal tiara.
the king of the Nether. But the sunlight made him blinded and angry. He raged through the land,
C: I'd be pretty pissed off too if I was named Dangly Balls.
rage the Blood Elves could not control.
C: Thanks Captain Obvious, that was implied.
The Wood Elves called upon the Fire Deity for their protection and salvation from the demon.
C: You're calling on the wrong person for demonic protection, guys. But I'm sure we'll get to see proof of this at least once.
And lo, light came from the heavens, a figure descent from above-- Wings of four, body carved like stone.
C: Original character do not steal.
The Fire Deity had come!
C: ... Why would you announce that to the general public, Ryuu. Ew.
He drew His sword,
C: Ryuu doesn't even capitalize his actual deity's pronouns, just Ryo's. Just saying.
longer than His height. He then waged his war against Dagoth-Bal. Their bout clashed
C: Their fight fought. Atta boy, Ryuu, keep writing my mockfic dialogue for me.
for three days and nights without cease.
C: And now they're both dead, the end. .. Please? No? God damn it.
Then at last, Ryukenden struck Dagoth-Bal a mighty blow, leaving him paralyzed! Ryukenden bound him with chains of holy fire and cast him back into the Nether.
The Blood Elves came to him, asking what dark entity he was to be more powerful than the Nether. The Fire Deity was offended
C: ... Really, Ryo? You don't think the natural assumption to someone thrashing some dude and chucking him into hell is to ask what the fuck his deal is? Grow a thicker skin you big baby.
and said unto them, "You believe I am evil because my strength is much?
C: Friendly reminder that this was written by a man in his twenties.
How dare you propose I am of darkness! Open your eyes, you courters of demons! I shall give you what you so desired! You will serve your coveted king all of your days!"
C: Wait what?
And he cast them into the Nether, tearing the portal apart.
C: ... Ryo just threw people into the depths of hell for asking a simple fucking question. Sometimes I wonder if Ryuu gets so pissy about people saying that Ryo is a bad person is because he knows Ryo actually is a bad person.
He then praised the Wood Elves for their loyal and faithful prayers.
C: Blindly suck his dick, get praise and nothing else. Ask him a simple question, get banished to hell for the rest of eternity. I know I've said this before, but Ryuu's idea of a religion really is like an abusive relationship.
He blessed them and promised He would always protect them from harm. He rose into the heavens, giving His blessing to heal the burnt land below.
C: How generous of him. Actually, considering he trashed it, it's the least he could do.
To give thanks for the Elves' deliverance, they built a mighty Temple with His image in the place where victory was had. They began to give their prayers at the Temple,
C: Where the fuck were they praying before, then? Space?
and further still, they were blessed. This is the way of Valandil.
C: Wait, what the fuck is Valandil? WHERE DID THIS COME FROM. RYUU YOU DINGUS IF THIS IS IMPORTANT DON'T LEAVE IT TILL THE END OF THE STORY.
We praise our Holy One for our freedom. Amen.
C: I feel really bad for the poor other people who have to put up with him making this shit. Like, it's fucking Minecraft. Pretty sure no one plays Minecraft for Ryuu to wank all over about how great his terrible OC is.
