Zelda: Epic Failure: January 2009

4.1.09

Introduction: The She-Elf

Halloa! I am the She-Elf. Welcome to Zelda: Epic Failure. This blog - well, it says what this blog is about, under the name.

I told myself, repeatedly, that I wasn't going to do this...

How could I, mewling, tiny, insignificant elf that I am, possibly think it wise to go against a Titan like Ryuu-Atrineas?

He's so well-loved! Surely there must be some reason for it. His art is perfect, his characters are wholly original and impeccably crafted. His writing and role playing is vibrant, lively, and deeply engaging. The games he makes are incredibly entertaining and amazingly well crafted and original, as well.

Also, all of those things are lies.

Yet, he has this troublesome fanbase that he could summon with a wave of his hand to rise against me and crush me, and I am but one elf armed with only her wit and a few snarky friends.

And I founded this blog, anyway, to criticize and mock - yes, mock, as horrible, rude, and biased as that sounds.

I am not an evil person, as I'm sure Ryuu's fans will label me. I am capable of pleasant critique. I like to help. I'd even like to be able to honestly say Ryuu's a good guy at heart who just needs a little help.

I might've been pleasant, if I felt a little criticism was welcome on his page - and, to be honest, I don't think it is, the way he puts conditions on it as though it MUST be sugar-coated. At least he admits he's thin-skinned. It is a virtue to understand one's failings. It is a better virtue to try to correct these, but I will not begrudge a man's minor flaws.

The final straw that made me decide that was it, I was going to make this blog and I wasn't going to be all smiles and rainbows about it, was that Ryuu is a bigot. He is homophobic. This does make me more biased than usual. This does make me a bit more aggressive. This does not make me more unfair.

Look at it, this way: if someone were racist, anti-Semitic, or something else bigoted, and you knew of it, would you be as kindly disposed to that person? Some flaws taint the way we see people.

I do not hate him - certainly not. It takes much more for me to invest such a dark feeling in something. However, I do not like him and I cannot respect him - for both his bigotry as well as his theft of characters to make his "original" characters.

He is not the only one with rude mistreatment of a fandom for his superspecialawesome characters, no. But nevertheless, he is the one that was picked. So, here we are - here I am.

As a warning, I am quite insane.

I'm sure you gathered that.

What's in a Name?

Throughout his innumerable biographies and other sundry discussions of his Original Character who shares a name with him, Ryuu has shown an amazing ignorance in naming his own character. Here are some pertinent excerpts:

From: The Making of: Ryo, Vassi and Raphy

He also got his name by then, a joke from Ronin Warriors. The man with the "Wildfire" armor was named Ryo, so I named my OC Ryo after him since his nick-name was in fact WildFire.

[...]

While browsing through Furan-San's gallery, I saw someone called "Ryukenden Hayabusa" from Ninja Gaiden. I figured "Ryukenden" must be what "Ryo" is short for, so I lengthened his name to that.

The most important thing, here, is to point out that the names Ryo (from Ronin Warrior's character, Ryō Sanada) and Ryu (from Ninja Gaiden's Ryū Hayabusa) are completely unrelated.

Ryo, in Japanese, is 遼. Ryū is, as far as I have been able to tell from my awkward research, ・リュウ.

遼 (Ryo) means Distant. [See here.]
・リュウ (Ryū) means Dragon.

As I have no handy link for Ryū, allow me to show how I came to this conclusion: It is taken from the fact that Hayabusa Ryū is represented as 隼・リュウ, and means "Peregrine Falcon Dragon."

Since 隼 means Peregrine Falcon, I can only deduce the rest means "Dragon." Google Translate also renders the rest as Liu, and I know that translations involving L and R are occasionally iffy (hence, the translation of "Zora" as "Zola," among other mistranslations).

Therefore, I can reasonably assume that ・リュウ is Ryū, and means Dragon.

They are decidedly different names.

As another important note: Ryū Hayabusa's name is not Ryukenden.

From: Ryuu Atrineas' Characters [- Legend of Zelda versions of Ryo -]

[...]this means he does not know that the Goddesses are technically his mothers... but he does know the name they had given him - Ryukenden, which means Dragon - He likes the shorter version, Ryo, which he refers to himself as to this day.

Ryukenden does not mean Dragon.

Ryukenden is part of the Japanese name for Ninja Gaiden.

The full Japanese name for the game is 忍者龍剣伝 - Ninja Ryukenden. It literally means "Legend of the Ninja Dragon Sword."

From my attempts with translators:

忍者 -> Ninja
龍剣伝 -> Gaiden

Broken down more:

忍者 -> Ninja (忍 -> Shinobu 者 -> Person)
龍 -> A Dragon
剣 -> Sword
伝 -> Legend

Shakespeare once wrote, in his famed Romeo and Juliet:

Act II, Scene II; Juliet:

What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet.

So, one might argue, why should Ryuu's character's name matter? That's misleading. In creating characters, names do become creatively important and very telling about the creator. It is no crime to pick a name because it is interesting, or because of what one associates with the name.

However! Not learning anything about a name, or taking a name from another character because of a joke or an idle fancy, shows a decided lack of care for the name and a decided lack of originality. Myself, I look through pages upon pages of existing names for inspiration, scour meanings and nationalities, commonness or rarity of use, and those who have had that same name. Some of that might be a little excessive, but some of it is natural.

Despite what Juliet said, names do matter. We evoke names, as though they have power - and they do. When asked who we are, we give our name, not a summation of our history. Likewise, a book is called by its title, not its summary.

It is the label that we give to the definition that makes us. In the world of fiction, this becomes even more important.

But I preach overmuch - it is clear Ryuu has not put great care into naming his character. That is what I set out to prove.

Character Sheet Template

In this blog, plenty of Ryuu’s character sheets will be critiqued. However, while working on such a critique, it struck me that I should probably comment on the basic format that he uses for all of them.

While I could have simply made up the format on my own, using his various character sheets, I was actually inspired to analyze his format in and of itself after I found it posted on his own forum, as the official character sheet format. This was found on a thread titled: Character Registration Information, Plus RPing tips

Name: <- Name of Character. Self-explanatory.

Nick-Name: <- Nickname of Character, in case the character is known as something other than his/her real name. This is optional.

Gender: <- Male or Female... duh.

Age: <- Age of Character... again, duh.

Hight: <- Hight of Character. Kids are short, grown ups are generally tall, but not always. Men are generally taller than women, but is not always the case.

Weight: <- Weight of Character. Kids are light, grown ups are heavier. Men tend to weigh more than women, but is not always the case.

It’s very basic – standard – so there isn’t much to complain about. However, I do have some suggestions: Having a field for race, especially if the main role-plays are Zelda role-plays, would be very handy.

Not everyone has a Hylian/humanoid character.

One could argue that it could be covered in appearance, yes, but a counter-argument would be that one could also cover gender, age, and build (height and weight) in the physical description, as well.

As for build, this is another suggestion, probably less necessary than the previous one, but one still worth mentioning. Have a field for build under height and weight. While the appearance of weight is influenced by height, that’s not a perfect system. Say, for example, one has a Rito character. For those who don’t remember, the Rito are a birdlike race from Wind Waker.

Birds have lighter bones to help them fly, for example. This would influence weight without influencing the appearance too much. Therefore, stating race and build helps form a picture in the mind’s eye, so that some readers don’t assume the character is underweight, simply because of the height and weight.

Muscle, for another example, is heavier than fat. A muscular character could weigh the same as a pudgy character, but not look like it simply because it’s muscle.

However, it is a common enough flaw in character sheets. I can’t rightly hold it against Ryuu-Atrineas.

(Last tip: it’s spelled H – E – I – G – H – T.)

Physical Description: <- Describes how the Character looks. It would be wise to make body and clothing seperate so you can tell the Character's build as well as his/her outfit clearly. However, if the combination of body+clothes will be too long, it's okay to add a seperate "Physical Description" for the clothes. In some cases, you may want to do this for weapons, too.

Looks most Like: <- If the Character was based off of another in appearance, the name of the base character is to be displayed here. This is optional, given not all characters are based on another.

The biggest flaw in the entire character sheet is the field “Looks most Like.” It doesn’t matter if it’s optional – it shouldn’t be an option at all. It should be a requirement that all characters be actually original, including appearance. Now, I can understand if a character is a literal clone (like, seriously made copy) of a character or is a twin that the characters would appear nearly identical.

However, that does not warrant this option. Those are very minor exceptions, and I would honestly advise against twins or clones in most role-plays, especially role-plays built from the Legend of Zelda fandom.

Having this as an option can be tempting to some people to be lazy and just make up a description based on someone else’s design. It’s not very creative or original.

Image: <- If you have an image of the Character, show it here. URLs only, please, as images themselves can be a bit large... This is also optional, provided that not all characters will have a picture.

Personality: <- Tells how the Character acts. Is he/she loving? A brute? Adventureous? Meek? How would he/she handle certain situations? We want to know.

Power(s): <- If the Character has 1 or more powers, tell what they are. This is optional, for not all characters have powers.

Upside to Power(s): <- If Power is listed, tell what good it does for the character or others around him/her. If the Character has no power, skip this.

Downside to Power(s): <- If Power is listed, tell what drawback or weakness to the powers. Long recharge time, does damage to the user, or even it may be only done so many times. Keep this in mind. If the Character has no power, skip this.

Strengths: <- Tell what things your character can do well. Maybe high jumping or just cooking extremely well.

Weaknesses: <- Tell what hurts your character other than what is obvious. Maybe your character is physically weak, or maybe he/she has no weapons?

History: <- Tell the history of your Character. This is what has happened in the Character's direct past. Please be descriptive.

Extra: <- If there's any other information you'd like to give, let it be said here. This is optional.

RPG Style: Is this for Zelda or Alternate RP?

It’s not bad, compared to other character sheets, but that doesn’t mean it’s good. It isn’t as thorough as it could be, for its main fandom, and has some key flaws. I’d probably rate it a 4/10. It would’ve fared better, if it weren’t for the “Looks most Like” option.

Character Sheet: Ryukenden

Apparently, Ryuu is big on role-playing and creating role-playing character sheets. His user-name is shared with his favorite Original Character, which has several variants.

I will be covering all the variants with Character Sheets, as well as the character as a fan fiction character. I will be correcting the spelling (with U.S. English spelling, as Ryuu is, as far as I am aware, from the United States) and commenting on logical errors. Corrections will be in this color.

(I will also use hover-text to show the original misspelling, if anyone cares.)

To preserve space, a Mary-Sue Litmus test will be conducted in a separate entry.

Today is the first incarnation: child Ryukenden. [From Nov 17 2005]

Name: Ryukenden (he doesn’t remember his last name)
Nick-Name: “Boy,” “Kid,” “Lad,” anything you want to call him, really.
Gender: Male
Age: 8 years(1), 2 years(2)

As a note to our readers who may not know, there are four different Ryukenden Atrineas character sheets in the thread this one comes from, not counting Dark Link (which Ryuu calls the “before” version of Ryukenden Atrineas) or the Wind Waker Ryo.

Therefore, I don’t understand why this particular character sheet has two histories in it. If he was already willing to make more than one Ryukenden character sheet, why couldn’t he make two kid Ryukendens, and make it easier to keep track of them?

Though, honestly, why one character has multiple character sheets and histories, I don’t understand. Yes, one could argue Link, from Legend of Zelda, but that would take a lot of time to argue and counter-argue. Instead, let’s cover that later, and get through this topic without making it longer than it really has to be (too late).

Height: 3'0"
Weight: 66 lbs.

While the weight for Ryuu is in the upper end of the eight-year-old age group, it is still within the average range. Additionally, it being on the higher end is more than explained because muscle weighs more than fat. (It is later explained that Ryukenden is somewhat more muscular than usual for a child.)

However, the height is not merely on the low end of the average range. It is far below the average. According to the average growth development for male children, Ryukenden is ten inches below the lowest average line. That is not to say it would be unheard of, but weight hangs differently on a person depending on build and height. With this height and weight, the child Ryukenden would very likely appear pudgier than I think Ryuu intended.

Physical Description (body): Ryo is a cute little boy who can’t ever seem to hide his emotions even if he tries. His large, midnight blue eyes give it away. His white eyebrows along with the sparkle of his eyes are so adorable and expressive. His hair is blazing white with shadows of yellow and orange as if it was made of pure intense flames. It rolls down the middle of his back, while his bangs end at the bottom of his jaw. Hair also flows out in front of his ears, ending at the middle of his chest. His skin is overall darker than other peoples’ skin, but nowhere near as dark as a Gerudo’s. Ryo just seems to have a “natural tan.” His skin is very soft as well. His torso is small, but not smaller than normal; He’s just a little kid. He has a little bit of muscle compared to most kids, which even he is confused about. His legs and arms are smooth and strong - for a kid, at least. His hands and feet are larger than normal, and his ears are longer than normal. For this, kids often say he’s a kind of “freak.”

The appearance of a character is important to establish, but I feel immediate concern when adjectives like “cute” and “adorable” come up almost immediately to describe him. It also seems to clash with other kids calling him a freak, because his ears, hands, and feet are over-sized. That isn’t to say he couldn’t be an adorable kid, but it has a conflicting tone, nevertheless.

(There’s an issue with the hair being described as intense flames, but that is not entirely an error in character composition, so it will be covered in another post.)

Physical Description (apparel)(1): He wears a long, red, pointed hat on his head that extends to his bottom. He has a beaten up red tunic with a brown belt and golden buckle. The belt has a small sheath on his right hip. He has loose, old, clumsy brown boots that he’s only recently mastered to run in.

Physical Description (apparel)(2): Shirtless, Ryo has only a pair of white pants that are held on by a black belt. He wears golden Goron Bracelets on each wrist. He has no shoes.

Physical Description (apparel)(3): He wears a black tunic over his body. It fits with his tanned skin. The tunic itself looks like it’s been through a lot of adventures, but it’s just because he gets dirty often. He washes it, though. The tunic looks similar to Link’s TP tunic, but black and small. He also wears child-sized form-fitting black boots. These are much like TP Link’s boots, but black and small. He wears a Goron Bracelet on each wrist for strength. Most times he has a black long cap too, but he doesn’t wear it often.

First, I do think it is somewhat cumbersome for the character sheet to have three different descriptions for outfits. Clothing does not seem so important that it warrants this much attention.

Aside from that, there are questions not answered by the history that are raised by the descriptions. In the first description, it mentions a sheath – presumably for his weapon that was not mentioned in the history. Where did it come from?

Actually, this begs the question, how does an eight-year-old get this sort of equipment and apparel? The red tunic was the only thing explained. A hat is not a necessity, so why does he have one, and where did he get it?

As for the second description – why does he have Goron Bracelets? The Gorons are not typically the most open to outsiders. Link was given his Goron Bracelets in return for cheering up Darunia, despite Darunia’s claim (out of his Goron Pride) otherwise.

Furthermore, I am going to have to point out that using phrases like, “The tunic looks similar to Link’s TP tunic,” and, “These are much like TP Link’s boots,” shows a lack of originality and a lack of ability to properly describe what a tunic is supposed to look like. Overall, it’s not really advisable to say, “It looks just like [something belonging to X character], but [change of color or statement of improved quality].”

It’s lazy and it certainly makes quite a few people roll their eyes.

Physical Description (weapons)(1): Though usually seen without a weapon, there are times Ryo is armed with a dagger. This dagger is simple - a silver hilt that looks like a normal broadsword’s hilt, the handle is wrapped in red leather for good grip. It has a short blade of steel. Nothing fancy, but don’t underestimate it. Red inscriptions line the middle of the blade and they tense to change color from red to orange to yellow and back to red... curious, no?

Physical Description (weapons)(2): Though usually seen without a weapon, there are times Ryo is armed with a small sword. It’s a starter’s sword, so it is small in size. The hilt is straight with a ball fixture at one end and a half-sphere on the other end. The handle is orange. The ball fixture is metal like steel and can be a good butt-end to bludgeon someone with. The other end, the half sphere cuts to the top, for a blade is fixed on it.

Neither of these weapons are covered by his histories. I don’t understand how Ryukenden came to have them, given that he is an impoverished child with no family to provide for him. Especially if one of them has a hilt made of silver. I may be mistaken, but dyed leather also sounds fancier than what one might call “nothing fancy.” And that’s even if we ignore the obviously magical inscriptions that Ryuu is trying too hard to make readers curious about.

(Tip: take out the “...curious, no?” part out. It sounds like you’re trying too hard to be interesting.)

I’m also confused if both Ryukendens with their two separate histories both have these weapons or if the numbers correspond to which one has which. I say that because there were three clothing appearances for the character, with no sign of which clothing goes to which character. It’s a little hard to keep track of, at times.

As another tip, some of the weapon descriptions for the second weapon are confusing to me. “The hilt is straight with a ball fixture at one end and a half-sphere on the other end.”

The hilt of a sword is the non-blade part of the sword – the guard, the grip (“handle”), and the pommel (the... “ball fixture”?). The other end goes to the blade. From refreshing myself with several sword diagrams, I thought maybe the half-circle was a rain guard (chappe), which was used to keep rain out of the scabbard, but I had a chat with Rinku about it, and he had this to say:

“If that's Little Ryo, I'm betting the half-sphere is supposed to be the guard, like with the sword Orca gave to Link. Which is a dumb description, because it's not a half sphere. [...] Yeah, he ripped off Link's sword. http://www.zeldawiki.org/File:Hero%27s_Sword.png (The art makes the guard look flat, but it is a circle 'round.)”

If perhaps a little more understandable sword terminology were used, it would be a little easier to understand what the sword was meant to look like. If it was a lack of knowledge about swords, then I highly recommend doing research on swords. It’s both fun and useful.

Looks most Like: Young Link, but with changes
Image: (New Image soon to come)

Again, regardless of the history, there is no reason to have a “Looks most Like” portion of a character sheet. Even if the character is a clone (like, literal clone, not just a character taken and changed), there’s no reason for this. If a character has similarities, it should be properly explained in the history and physical appearance of the character sheet.

Having this part of the character sheet, in some ways, also makes it easier to think it’s okay if one character is taken from other characters.

At “best,” the option is redundant. At worst, its uncreative bordering on theft.

Personality: He’s the shy, sensitive type. He’s cautious around people, especially adult men. He has mixed feelings about being by himself - He won’t have to worry about anyone trying to play a trick on him, but loneliness is never a good feeling. He wants a real friend at least... and a mother at most.

Power(s): He can blow fire out his mouth like a Flame-Thrower. He also has an amazing resistance to heat and fire.
Upside to Power(s): Fire has little to no effect on him and heated areas power him up. He can burn things that can catch fire and be a bit of a distance away from his target.
Downside to Power(s): Projectile fire is only available if he can breathe. His element of fire makes him sensitive to cold.

Strengths: Small and nimble, he’s hard to hit. Intense heat actually makes him heal faster and his fire-attack be stronger.
Weaknesses: He’s just a kid; kind of gullible and can tire out fairly easily. Cold and ice have bad effects on him much more quickly than it would a normal person.

His powers are somewhat explained by his second history, but they are not explained by his first history, at all. While magic exists in Hyrule, the average person doesn’t have it. Link didn’t get magic in Ocarina of Time, for example, until he talked to a Great Fairy – the same as in Majora’s Mask. In Adventure of Link (the second Zelda game, and the first to feature magic), Link was taught his spells by an elder.

Yet, little Ryukenden, in at least the first history (though, why a character needs two histories on one sheet is still a mystery to me), has no explanation for his presumably magical abilities.

History:(1) Ryo was a fine infant with his mother and father in the Hyrule Castle. His mother was a caring, loving mother with a beautiful and his father was a great knight for the Hylian Army. When Ganondorf struck, his dad was first to confront the threat, where he was never seen again. Ryo stayed close to his mother, but during the fray of a great battle, his mother was said to be killed, and Ryo presumed dead as well. He was but 3 years old, then. For five years Ryo has had to live among the ReDeads, Poes, and Deku Babas that litter the entire land of Hyrule.

While this is admittedly handy for setting up the time-line Ryukenden lives in, as far as Hyrule is concerned, it still has its problems.

I’m going to have to ask ‘How?’, because that sounds nigh impossible and ridiculous. Why were they in the fray of a battle? Was it a battle in the actual city? Did they look for the kid at all? Where did the kid go?

This raises more questions than it answers, while shattering a typical suspension of disbelief.

As an aside, the way it says that his father was first to confront Ganondorf/Ganondorf’s army (I presume one existed), it’s ambiguous. It could either mean he was in the front lines (which is noble), or was literally the first to confront him, which seems logically unlikely.

In the Lost woods, he found the Goron City and found a Goron Tunic that had shrunk, for it was made of a different material (which is actually tougher). The Gorons let him have it, and it’s the tunic he still wears to this day.

More questions arise, here. How did he get through the Lost Woods far enough? Why was there just an old shrunken tunic lying around for a kid to pick up?

Moreover, it seems tactless to say that Little Ryukenden just finds a shrunken Goron tunic that just happened to be child-Ryukenden-sized that just happens to be stronger than Link’s Goron Tunic.

I’ll also have to ask how long he’s been wearing it, since children actually grow out of clothes faster than adults do – due to the fact that they’re still growing.

He left the city and has wandered through Hyrule aimlessly. Unsure what the next day will bring, Ryo is but a lost boy who needs someone to love him...

His whereabouts are unknown.

History:(2) Seven years after Ganondorf had taken over Hyrule, the Hero of Time had come back to defeat the King of Evil. He explored through the dungeons and had defeated Phantom Ganon in the Forest Temple as well as Volvagia in the Fire Temple.

The Water Temple was next, but it proved perilous for Link. Water levels rising and lowering was a hassle and the whole place was littered with villainous beasts. Link was able to easily counter-act these creatures of the cursed dungeon, but there was one thing Link hadn’t counted on fighting... himself.

It seems to me that anyone who has played Ocarina of Time would know this much of the story. This information potentially bogs down the character sheet with unnecessary information. Yes, one could just scroll past it, but that doesn’t excuse poor composition.

When Link had entered the Water Temple, the source of the curse took notice of his arrival. This source, called Morpha, knew that if Link had gotten to it, it’d surely die. Morpha knew it wasn’t much capable of defending itself, for it relied on its magical powers to cause the will of Ganondorf to become true. In this thought, Morpha copied Link’s body with its mythical abilities. The copy was a complete and perfect copy of Link in every way except one... Though he had muscle, he had no strength. Though his heart was strong, it was silent. No air moved in his lungs. It was complete, yet lacking. The copy came into this world dead. To Morpha, this didn’t matter. It only needed two things from this creation... the essences of Anger and Hatred. These, it extracted with ease and formed them together in a more solid, yet phantom-like figure. This figure was Morpha’s plan to stop the Hero of Time from going any further.

Sometimes I can’t help but nitpick, and this is one of those times. Here it says “a perfect copy in every way except one,” and then it lists several things afterward. And if all the listed things mean anything but ‘it’s lacking,’ then I can’t figure it out. (Honestly, I can’t even figure out “one thing” it’s lacking, either.)

Link progressed through the Water Temple without serious affliction at first. The tables seemed to turn when he entered a room which seemed to be a grayish, hazy place that had a slight resemblance to outside Lake Hylia. He passed the single tree in the center and raced to a building that seemed like the fishing hut. The door wouldn’t open, no matter how hard Link pushed or pulled. Giving up on the door for now, he turned around to find a black figure leaning on the tree. This figure looked exactly like him, but all coal black - hair, clothes, skin, everything - except for the flaming red, demon eyes. The figure glanced at him with a smile capable of unsettling Twinrova. Before words could be spoken, it launched at Link and the two were engaged in combat quickly.

This seems like a long summary of a story, not the summary of a character’s history for a role-playing sheet. It has plenty of unnecessary details. Wouldn’t it be easier and more effective to summarize the fact that they fought?

Of course, this is another one of those parts of the game canon that most people should know. It could stand to be left out.

(I still don’t understand what he’s trying to say, when he wrote, “without serious effliction [sic].” I gather he means, though, that Link made it through the Water Temple without much trouble. I suggest a revision in word-choice.)

The records tell of the battle between Link and his dark self... but what of the body? The copy in which that dark form was made...? Morpha left him behind, seeing as he was useless to it. On this moment, the Goddesses of Hyrule - Din, Nayru and Farore - looked down upon him with pity. This lifeless body, this soulless man should have more than to be just a leftover to a sinister plan. It concerned Din, saddened Farore and broke Nayru’s heart to see such waste... an innocent person being created for the sole purpose of destroying another. Nayru was in tears as she had such pity for him. Farore also felt terrible that even a monster had no feelings. However sorry they felt, it was nothing compared to Din’s anger of these events. Ganondorf had gone too far. Din made a promise to Nayru and Farore that this one would live and be a directly-created man by their power. In essence, she promised them that this one would be their son. Nayru and Farore instantly agreed, but they had to wait until the essences that were taken had returned to the body.

I feel like I missed something. I know that Morpha apparently made a body, and somehow extracted emotions from it and made the phantom from that, but... I don’t understand why.

It seems overly complicated. Why couldn’t Morpha just use the body to fight Link? It seems like the convoluted plan is merely the by-product of a person who wants to have a reason for why his character is a copy of Link but still liked the idea of Dark Link being a spectral thing with no fleshy body too much to change it.

Then I have to question how the copy was seen as an individual person to the three goddesses. If it was an incomplete copy of Link, did it even have a soul to begin with? And if it did, how does Morpha have that ability? If it had that much power over the creation of the goddesses, it seems to me that Morpha would be, in some ways, more powerful than Ganondorf.

And why couldn’t they do anything with it until it had its essences of anger and hatred back? Wouldn’t it be a more powerful construct against evil if the Goddesses used what would constitute Dark Link’s opposite (everything BUT the only two things that make him).

Link bested his phantom, and the Dark Link form dissipated into nothing but the essences. They returned to their host and just as promised, the three Goddesses went to work, singing all the while.

I’m sorry, I just have to ask – why singing all the while? Is this a Disney Movie? Are we in the Emerald City of Oz?

I don’t mean to be rude about this, but that line sticks out a lot and I just have to ask why it’s there. It makes no logical sense, to me, to include that useless bit of information.

Taking him into their own hands, they lifted the copy into the air. Farore was first to give her gift to the man. She breathed into him the breath of life and pressed the center of his chest. By doing this, his breathing began and his heart pumped. With this action, the body became living. Nayru, then, blessed him knowledge and wisdom. He gained learning for basic living and survival... all one would need to get by. In a sense, she gave him the natural instincts any human would have. Din formed in her mighty hands a sphere of fire. Enveloping the man in these flames, he became infused with the element of fire. Power was given to him, for his muscles now carried strength in them. To finish their work of life, the trio focused their powers onto him, forming a new soul in which would inhabit this body as their son - the Child of the Triforce.

Did he not have a soul of his own? If he didn’t, then I have to ask, again, why it was necessary for the Goddesses to get so angry about the copy. Yes, it wasn’t exactly the most good thing to do with creation, but I find it hard to understand their motivation for caring so much about this.

Or is Ryuu’s excuse that we shouldn’t question the goddesses with human logic?

And if the body was dead, why was it necessary to bring it to life, anyway? It was a copy of Link – and Link is still alive. Actually, why was there no concern over Link? He was copied in his entirety – the essences of his emotions and all – with no harm done to him?

No, now I have another question. Why did it have emotions and no soul, if it didn’t have a soul? Of course, that all goes down into a big philosophical mess about what a soul is and where emotions come from, and that may be getting a little too nit-picky, but it’s hard for me not to nit-pick when I have absolutely no suspension of disbelief.

I also don’t understand why Din infused him with the element of fire as well as strength. It seems to me that strength would be enough, but whatever.

They knew their works for this one’s life was completed, but one should not go into the world as an exact copy of someone else. Each individual should have their own traits and unique appearance. This one would be no exception. They began to form him to their own desired form. The Hero of Time has a pleasing base, but one should not copy him, and for that they scolded Morpha’s lack of originality. Din stroked his hair gently and intense white, flaming locks overpowered the gold that was once there. Nayru brushed his face, deepening the blue of his shimmering eyes. Farore did not think color was enough, for she began to lengthen his ears and sharpen their form and their performance. Din saw Farore’s plans and began to do work of her own. She enlarged his hands and gave to them a grip which one would have to wrestle him to make him let go. She enlarged his feet for firmly standing his ground, endurance for long travels, a powerful kick, and great running. Nayru thought performance and power were nice, but he needed another kind of touch. She felt that it would not be good for him to be without a childhood, so still keeping the work of her sisters intact, she transformed the body of a man to a body of a cute little child. His hair became longer, down to the back of his shoulder blades. Having their work done, Din kissed the man’s left hand, leaving her symbol there to replace the hollow shadow of the Triforce of Courage.

Why would a “hollow shadow” of the Triforce of Courage remain? The copy never had the Triforce, so there’s no reason why it would have any “shadow” of it. And Why would Din need to give that mark (and give it with a kiss, no less) to cover it or replace it? They’re the three supreme Goddesses. If they wanted, they could merely make it vanish.

Now, I know they wanted to fix him and make him like their son, but I still don’t understand why, and I still don’t understand why Din put the extra attention into him over the other goddesses.

Ganondorf had nothing to do with this, the way the character sheet tells it. He just teamed up with Morpha. If Morpha had orders to create Dark Link, that would be something else, entirely, but it seems Ganondorf’s getting more of the blame than Morpha, if Din’s that mad about it (assuming Din is more critical of Ganondorf because he holds the Triforce of Power associated with Din).

Besides, it’s not as if he was created to be a champion against Ganondorf. Link is already chosen by destiny to fill that role, from what I know of the games.

Furthermore, if the goddesses wanted to make him more different beyond a few larger body parts and different colorations, they could have changed his appearance a lot more. They have that ability, obviously. It isn’t terribly creative only to change “enough” of Ryukenden to make him not exactly like Link.

They had also erased the memories of fighting Link as Dark Link. Such knowledge at this given time would only bring confusion and horror. Any knowledge of what had happened was gone except for dreams that occurred on occasional nights. Sadly enough, he also does not know of his origin in any way... this means he does not know that the Goddesses are technically his mothers... but he does know the name they had given him - Ryukenden, which means Dragon - He likes the shorter version, Ryo, which he refers to himself as to this day.

”Ryukenden” does not mean “Dragon,” and “Ryo” is not the short version of “Ryukenden.”

Furthermore, “Ryo” does not mean “Dragon,” either. For more information, see What’s in a Name?.

That having been said, it seems to defeat the purpose of having a character that is a reformed Dark Link, but then erase those memories. I know they could be terribly troubling for a child, but not everything in life is, or should be, sunshine and rainbows.

But the world was not safe for a new child just yet. Farore suggested that the boy be placed in the Kokiri Forest with the other children. After all, the curse there has already been broken by the Hero of Time. Nayru and Din agreed that this would be done. Before they did this, they summoned the Sage of Dreams - Tyria Solaris - to their heavens. They instructed her to take care of this child while he slept, for he will need a motherly touch to his life. Until his origin was revealed to him, Tyria would be his caretaker - a nanny, as it were. Tyria agreed without hesitation. With this taken care of, Farore gave a prophesying dream to the Deku Tree Sprout that the Son of the Goddesses would be among the Kokiri. After such a dream, they brought Ryo to the forest, leaving him in front of the Deku Tree Sprout. When Ryo awoke, his new life began.

If the world was not safe, then that leaves more questions for the non-goddess-child history of Ryukenden. I also question the logic of adding new sages, since the sages all seem to play a part in banishing Ganondorf. That’s why the sages of temples needed to be awoken in the actual game, unless I am mistaken.

Adding new sages leaves plot holes that would need a lot of explaining. It also serves to be one more thing that makes the character extra-super-special, as overpowered and unbelievable characters tend to be.

Extra:
Ryo loves to be in Tyria’s company. Because of this, he tends to sleep a lot.

RPG Style: Zelda RPG

Overall, the character sheet is a chore to read. It leaves many questions open that seem like they should be covered – like how he survived through his childhood, in the first history, for example.

The second history also seems like it has extra information or elaboration that isn’t necessary at all. For example, his changes placed in him by the goddesses could have been shortened by an easy summary.

Of course, the character also sounds like an overpowered Mary Sue, and seems to be literally breaking Ryuu-Atrineas’s own forum rule: “No god-like characters.”

The basic idea of a reformed Dark Link isn’t bad – it’s an idea I’ve seen done before that worked fairly well. An original take on it (or, as original as it could get) wouldn’t be bad, but this character has issues with the logic behind its creation.

It also takes away from the charm of being a reformed Dark Link by removing the memories of being Dark Link.

I rate this character a 2/10. I might’ve ranked it higher, if the character sheet wasn’t essentially two character sheets smashed into one.

Mary Sue Litmus Test: Ryukenden

This is the second part to the critique on Character Sheet: Ryukenden. Not all character sheet critiques will have a second part, because some of his character sheets are very obviously not sues (whether or not they’re good will be seen, but I doubt anyone can have so many character sheets and not have one that isn’t at least decent).

However, this is an important test to take, because I doubt I would be well-received if I just took out a big rubber stamp and stamped “SUE” all over this variant on such a beloved character. This will be a long post, because I am including the whole answer sheet for the 154 questions (not counting sub questions) that are applicable to Ryuu’s character. I do this so people can check my answers, which I will try to source and explain as best I can.

If I have missed a question I should have checked, or checked something I should not have, I encourage people to comment – WITH A REASONABLE ARGUMENT AND/OR SOURCES – to tell me, and I will very likely change it.

These posts will be slightly shorter in the future, because I will not include the above preface in future entries.

My comments on the questions are in this color, to match the X's.

Mary Sue Litmus Test (RPG Style): Ryukenden

Check my answers!

Is or does your character's name...

Your name, variation of your name, nickname, screenname, or any name that has been applied to you? (Spelling it differently or changing it a little counts.) Fic: RPG: X
- Ryuu-Atrineas uses many variants of the name he gave his “prized” OC. He uses the name Ryuu-Atrineas on deviantArt and Zelda: Epic Journeys. He used Ryo on the Rayman Pirate Community forum, and he used Ryuu on Shadow Sage’s Lair, because Ryo (which he states is his usual user name) was already taken. On a few other forums, he has used the name Atrineas, his character’s last name.
A name you planned on giving one of your children?
Any ordinary name spelled or changed so that it's more unusual?
A boyish sounding name for a girl character?
Involve a noun or verb not usually used as a name, spelled normally or not?
If a noun, is it related to nature, a weapon, a gemstone, darkness, or something mystical?
Something that your character chose for him/herself?
Taken from a character from another fandom that you like?
A really unusual-sounding name (unusual in the character's time/place/world) that you made up yourself?
Unusual for your character's time, place, and/or ethnicity?
Japanese or Japanese-sounding, even though your character is not Japanese? X
- See What’s in a Name? for full details.
Chosen specifically because you thought it had a meaning appropriate for your character? X
- He points out in the character sheet, itself, that the name means “Dragon,” which is not entirely true, but he points it out. He also originally picked the name Ryo because an anime linked it to Wildfire (the name of the armor the character Ryo from Ronin Warriors wore). Quotes saying as much are posted in the What’s in a Name? post.

Is your character also known by a cool nickname or unique title/address?

More than one?

Did you base your character's looks on your own?

Does your character look how you wish you look?

Is your character described, illustrated, and/or shown as exceptionally beautiful, cute, or handsome?

Does anyone fight or squabble over your character because of his/her looks?
Is anyone (including you) jealous of your character's good looks?
Do any characters see his/her attractiveness as a threat?

Do other characters frequently tell your character how sexy or beautiful he/she is?

Does your character modestly deny it every time or refuses to believe that he/she is attractive?

Does your character have a great body/physique, which you describe, show, and/or illustrate in detail?

Despite the fact that his/her eating and/or exercising habits decree that he/she should be a stick/blimp?
Does your character weigh so little that he/she looks or should be anorexic, but isn't?

Do you use poetic and/or creative terms to describe your character?

Do you frequently describe your character's beautiful/handsome/cute attributes or point out how sexy your character is?

Conversely, do you go to great lengths describing how your character is not gorgeous?

Does your character's description contain anything to the effect of "He/she looks just like [other character/celebrity] except..." X

Not only does his character sheet directly have a field called “Looks most Like” (which he uses to state that his character looks like one of the main canon characters in the series), but his character’s history involved the goddesses giving his physical form minor changes, because he was originally an exact copy of Link.

Do other characters find your character extremely attractive and desirable, even when they should be completely gross and icky? (EG, after battling, getting tortured, going for days without bathing or washing.)

Does your character have any of the following?

Natural eye coloration that stands out from the norm?
Eyes with any other unusual qualities?
Natural hair color that stands out from the norm? X
- Ryukenden’s hair is twice described as being white tinted with orange and yellow like intense flames. That constitutes a hair color that stands out from the norm, and it is naturally that color (even if one of the histories state the goddesses made it that way).
Unusual feature of any other kind? (Particularly unusual/exotic birthmark, tattoo, etc.) X
- He has an orange mark of Din on his hand, which was kissed on there by the Goddess, herself. I’m not making this up. Go check the character sheet again if you don’t believe me.

Does your character have a particularly attractive scent that doesn't come from their perfume or shampoo?

Does your character have a scar or other small flaw that is noticed by someone, but does not actually detract from your character's appearance?

Has your character been in a lot of physical fights and/or battles, but doesn't have many noticeable scars to show for it?

Does your character have a particularly piercing (EG, "can stare straight into your soul"), haunting, captivating, or dazzling gaze?

Does your character's personal choice of clothing frequently include...

Clothing that you deliberately picked from your own wardrobe?
Clothing chosen because you really wished you owned it or could get away with wearing it in public?
Clothing chosen because it makes your character look super sexy and/or badass?
Clothing that is realistically impractical or improper for the character's situation, but looks cool?

Do you describe your character's clothing by the scene or stereotype it is most often associated with? - But ignore if this is because someone in the story is describing the character.

Is your character impervious to any of the normal limitations and/or weaknesses of his/her species?

Is your character partially or completely some type of metaphysical/spirit-type being?

I’m not checking this one, but it is debatable. Ryukenden was, at one time, Dark Link, which did not exist wholly in its own body. As a son of the Goddesses, as his character sheet (or, at least part of his character sheet) claims, it is also arguable if he can be all mere mortal flesh.

...Like a succubus or incubus?

Is your character some other kind of cool humanoid with powers/abilities beyond human ability?

Is your character a cross-breed/hybrid of any kind?

In a universe where hybrids are very unusual?
A hybrid of more than two species?
Does he/she possess the strengths of both species, but none of the weaknesses?
Or does your character have all of the weaknesses, but none of the strengths? – Minus 4!
Is your character part something furry, yet shows no sign of being anything but human save for a furry tail, animal ears, fangs, and/or claws?
If not a cross-breed, then at least cross-cultural?

Does your character become a genetically, scientifically, cybernetically, or magically altered/enhanced being, possibly with new powers? X

Part of his history (or, at least one of his histories) directly involves being magically altered and enhanced by the goddesses, making his grip stronger, his legs faster, his appearance different, and all like that.

Is he/she happier this way?
- I’m not checking this one, but this is arguable, as it was done to restore him, and his memory was erased so he wouldn’t remember his upsetting past. However, he can’t exactly be happier if he doesn’t remember.
Do people like him/her better this way?
- Again, not checking this one, but given that the alternative is Dark Link – and, in his fanon, it would be his version of Dark Link – I think most people would. I prefer canon Dark Link, myself.
Do you wish it would happen to you?
Was your character kidnapped specifically for some type of experiment or project in order for this to happen?

Do think of your character as an ideal role-model?

Does your character voice political, social, and/or religious opinions which you share?

Does he/she convince others that his/her way of thinking is right?

Does your character have unusually free, enlightened, or "liberated" views on sex and romance for his/her time/place?

And does no-one frown upon your character's behaviors or views?
Or do only characters who don't matter disapprove, IE, the villain, local idiot, fusty old grandpa, etc?

If your character has a spitfire personality, sharp wit, or attitude, are the tongue-lashings they give other characters always deserved and justified?

If your character is openly defiant or disrespectful toward authority figures, is your character always justified and in the right?

Are any other actions that get your character into trouble with authority always justified from your point of view?

Do authority figures punish your character more harshly than they would have punished others under the same circumstances?

Do authority figures not punish your character when they probably would have punished others under the same circumstances?

Is your character easily provoked to violence - but only gets into fights with characters who truly deserve the beating they get?

Are The Rules of the universe bent or broken for your character? (Like joining a group despite being too old or too young.)

Does your character have any of the following psychological disorders?

Antisocial Personality Disorder - to explain your character's Jerkass Loner personality?
Split personality - so your character can do "bad" stuff, yet still have a claim to innocence?
Inability to form a solid intimate relationship - so he/she has an excuse to sleep with as many people as you want?

Is your character mainly driven by completely-justified revenge?

Does your character suffer from amnesia? X

In his character sheet, one the histories clearly states that the goddesses erased his memories of his battle with Link as Dark Link. (I tend to use the second, if you’ve noticed, because I’m not doing this quiz twice and the second history tends to match everything else written about other versions of Ryuu.)

If/when your character discovers his/her past, will he/she not like it? X
- I’ll directly quote the character sheet, here: “They had also erased the memories of fighting Link as Dark Link. Such knowledge at this given time would only bring confusion and horror.”
And/or discover that he/she is actually someone of great importance?

Are animals instinctively attracted to your character?

How many animal companions does your character keep? (Ordinary, non-magical pets like cats and dogs do not count.)

Is said animal a wolf, bird of prey, big cat, or mythical creature?

Does your character habitually share profound wisdom and knowledge?

Does your character always have money to spend on frivolities or whatever he/she really wants or needs at the time?

For no apparent reason? (Character never works or gives any clue to any source of income.)

Did you choose your character's occupation and/or hobbies because you think they sound neat, glamorous, prestigious, or exciting?

Does your character share your favorite types of movies, music, clothes, etc?

Is your character unusually accomplished for his/her age, time period, place, occupation, and/or social status?

In something that is extremely desirable and/or useful in the story's universe?
In something that is extremely difficult for virtually anyone achieve?
Is your character unusually accomplished in more than one area?

Does your character pick up new skills unusually fast during the course of the story?

Like, insanely fast?

Is your character the best or among the best at anything he/she does? One box for each:

Is he/she famous/renowned for any of these?

Are other characters extremely impressed or astonished at your character's skills and/or virtues? (Does not count if they are easily impressed due to their own inexperience.)

Do they impress even the most cynical, jaded, exacting, and/or experienced?
Does your character modestly dismiss or deflect well-earned compliments?

Does your character have Barbie Doll syndrome?

Ah, the sound of music! Does your character...

Have an exceptionally beautiful singing voice?
Play a musical instrument very well?
Is this instrument a guitar, harp, or flute?
Can he/she charm others with his/her musical talent?

Does your character use magic in a typically non-magical universe?

Does your character fly in a typically groundbound universe?

Without wings or other apparent means?

Does your character have telepathic and/or telekinetic (Force-like) abilities in a world where this is unusual?

Do these powers allow your character to 'see' or just 'know things' without actually being there, allowing him or her to save the day?
Do they make up for a disability, such as being blind, deaf, or mute?

Does your character have a telepathic/empathic connection or the ability to communicate with any kind of animal?

Anything such as horses, wolves, big cats, or mythical creatures? - Bonded creatures do not count, so long as this is within a universe where this is perfectly normal and it is your character's one and only bonded creature.

Does your character have the ability to shapeshift? X

It does not appear to be willful in context, but Ryuu has changed his shape spontaneously. From an RP featuring young Ryukenden: Waves of Dark Energy wrap around Ryo, and his body takes a strange change. He's only a black schiloette and he seems to be forming into an adult body. He eyes light up red. When his change is complete, he looks like that of Dark Link!

Does your character possess unusual healing powers?

Strong enough to save a character from mortal injury and/or death?

Does your character possess power that can take out entire cities/legions of soldiers/general all-around-evil?

Does your character end up in a tight spot and discover that he/she has really cool powers that were dormant and/or unknown before?

Later, in the aforementioned RP, Ryuu is whisked away, healed, and restored as the adult form most people know him as. It is debatable whether any power discovered from that point on fits in this category. More discussion is needed before I check this one off. Consider it a compromise for checking off # 54.

Does your character have any other relatively unique special powers/abilities that come in handy? X

He breathes fire, as he repeatedly points out in various sources and character sheets. This is not a common power in Hyrule, and it is considered a useful power by his character sheet.

Not counting his or her first language, how many languages does your character fluently speak? Click one box for every language:

Does your character succeed at virtually everything he/she tries?

Do his/her initial plans, strategies, ideas, etc. always (or nearly always) work?

But only after everyone else dismisses it and tries everything else first?

On the other hand, if your character does bungle almost everything, is he/she quickly and easily forgiven for it?

Does your character ever single-handedly take out more armed forces (EG, security guards, soldiers) than you can count on one hand using his/her kick-butt skills?

Is anyone envious of your character's talents and/or abilities?

Because he/she constantly beats them at their own game/games?

Does your character alone have a weapon that...

Was passed down from a parent/trainer?
Was given by some kind of spirit/magical being?
Do you often mention that it belonged to someone beforehand?
Is magical? X
- Descriptions of his weapon do tend towards the magical weapon route. To quote the character sheet: Red inscriptions line the middle of the blade and they tense to change color from red to orange to yellow and back to red...
Is unusually ornate?
Is from a different culture or country than your character?

Does your character use a sword-type weapon in a relatively modern setting for no logical reason?

Does your character frequently carry knives, daggers, or other little sharp pointy objects concealed within his/her clothing for no other reason than that they might be come in handy?

Does your character possess a unique trinket that is magical and/or has some special significance?

Does this trinket protect your character from some weakness?

Does your character have unfairly restrictive parents/guardians?

Alternatively, do your character's parents/guardians let him/her do whatever he/she wants and never really get in the way or ask too many questions?

Is your character nobility, closely related to a noble, or at least a rough equivalent? (President, governor, etc.) X

In his first history, he is the son of a Knight, not a mere soldier. While Knights are considered lesser nobility, knights are still noblemen. I’m not sure if Ryuu realizes that, however. In his second history, he is unknowingly adopted/fashioned by the three goddesses. I’ll run a little poll in the comments: Should godhood count as nobility? I tend to think it counts, myself. I’ll uncheck it if enough people complain. Note that this constitutes 3 checks, because he doesn’t know about his maternal creators and he wasn’t ORIGINALLY created as a deity, he was refashioned into one.

Nobility without knowing it? X
Adopted by or become a noble at any point? X

Is your character extremely popular or renowned where he/she comes from or frequents?

Is your character undeservingly despised and/or outcast by most people?

Because he/she is unusually talented/attractive/rich?

Because of his/her special powers?

Does your character manage to become friends with a villain, and through this friendship cause the villain to become reformed?

On the subject of your character and his/her family...

Was your character orphaned, abandoned, kicked out, or at least raised by a family/person that was not his/her own family?
- Under normal circumstances, I would check this. However, it feels a bit skewed because of the two histories, and I have been using the second one. So, I’ll let this one slide. However, I want readers to note this, should I ever retake this quiz for the first history only. Also note that, with the first history, many of the below options apply.
Was a major villain responsible for the death of the parents or guardians?
Was your character responsible for the death of his/her parents/guardians?
Did your character witness the death of the parents/guardians?
Was he/she adopted by a cruel family or person?
Ran away at any point?
Raised him/herself?
Lived in the streets?
The very last or only survivor of anything?
Adopted by another species/racial group?

What about any of these?

Born/raised in extreme poverty?
Born/forced into slavery?
Banished from anywhere?
A member of a despised, outcast, and/or downtrodden race?
An illegitimate child?
The parent of an illegitimate child?
Abused?
Raped?

If your character lost her virginity unwillingly, does she find a way to restore it?

Has your character otherwise lost...

A child?
Lover?
Close friend?

Did anything else remarkably strange or otherwise unusual happen in your character's infancy?

If your character has a torment-ridden, pain-filled past, do you believe it excuses his/her actions?

If female, does your character have "rebellious princess syndrome?"

Does your character angst about something that he/she did in the past?

Death of a main character's family?
Death of his/her own family?
Does your character eventually learn that it wasn't his/her fault?

If female, does your character ever have to prove that she's just as good as the guys?

If your character is a villain...

Did he/she start out good?
Does he/she reform by the end of the story?
Does he/she reform because of act of kindness on the part of the hero?

Does a major villain have a personal fixation/obsession with your character?

For no apparent reason?
Something that has to do with your character's family, and not your character him/herself?

Is your character ever spared by an otherwise-ruthless villain?

Despite the fact that he/she has already done massive damage to the villain, the villain's troops, and/or stronghold?
Because the villain is attracted to your character?

Do you wish your character was real so you could be friends or lovers with him/her?

Do you imagine you are this character? - Skip if the only imagining you do is when you write the story.

Do you feel insulted, attacked, or defensive when someone does not like your character?

If people don't like your character, do you believe it's just because they don't "get" him or her?

Did you feel that this test insulted or attacked you or your character so far?

Is your character's name a variation, pun, or synonym of a canon character's name?

Do your introduce and/or describe your character on the first page? (Ignore if this is an RPG character.)

In minute detail?
On the first paragraph?

Does your character share a notable physical characteristic with a canon character, or at least have one that is remarkably similar? (Genetic resemblances do not count here.)

I’m leaning towards not checking this one – so I won’t, but I’d like to ask readers again: do you think it counts as genetic resemblance for Ryukenden (second history) to look like Link, considering he’s essentially a clone that has been altered?

Is your character basically a female version of a favorite male character?

Is your character of a species that is not normally found in the fandom for which you are writing?

Was your character trained in some art by or with a canon character?

Does your character share tastes or a hobby with a canon character?

Is your character just as good or even better at the jobs and/or skills of one or more canon characters? (EG, better hacker or smarter than the nerd character, better fighter than the tough character.)

For no apparent reason?
Does he/she have the talents, skills, and/or abilities of several canon characters combined?

Does your character...

Know something that only a canon character should know?
Do something that only a canon character should have done?
Was it something that changed said canon character originally?

If your character is the child of one or more canon characters, did he/she inherit any of the parents’ powers or talents?

Is he/she even better than the parents?

If the last question did not apply, does your character have a weapon or power that is just as good that of a canon character?

Is it, for all intents and purposes, almost just like a canon character's weapon or power, only better?
If not similar, does it just happen to be more powerful?

Does your character possess a weapon or artifact that is not normal in the universe he/she is in? (For example, a lightsaber in a Lord of the Rings story.)

Does your character carry around a trinket of some kind that's similar to and/or somehow relates to a canon character's previously-unique trinket?

Does your character end up saving the day and/or the life of another character?

Magically or mystically?
Does your character die in the process? (Any nasty irreversible thing, like getting sent to an inescapable dimension count, too.)
By almost dying?
Does everyone mourn the death of your character?
Is he/she revived by the end of the story?
Is he/she revived?

Does your character belong to the Resistance/Rebellion/Elite or any other special/elite group?

A member or child of someone in this class without knowing it?
Become a member at some point in the story?
Do they specifically join the hero's team/clique/crew?

Is your character closely related to a canon character?

The sibling?
The child?
The lost child/sibling?
The twin/clone?
Are the parents canon characters that seem very unlikely to get together?
Do other characters comment on or are amazed by how much your character looks like his/her canon relative?
If your character is not actually related, does he/she have other connections to the canon characters? X
- I’m not fully comfortable with saying they’re related or Ryukenden is a clone (...in the genetic sense), even though they are genetically connected, so I’m willing to compromise for checking this one off, instead of a clone. I will change it if I get a good enough argument, however. Critics of my fairness should know that a clone adds four points, this option only adds one point. I’m being nice.

Is your character liked by all the canon characters you like?

Do they care for your character more than they care for their canon friends?
Would any canon character die for your character? (Unless, of course, said canon character would pretty much die for any casual friend/acquaintance.)
Even characters that are not known for their friendly, outgoing attitudes?
Do characters who criticize or don't like your character from the start like him/her by the end, or at least have a grudging respect?
Or does anyone who criticizes or doesn't like your character end up getting beaten up, humiliated, and/or dead?

Do other characters look up to your character?

As a leader?
Do canon leaders see your character as a threat because of this?

How many major characters fall for your character?

How many minor characters fall for your character?

How many major characters does your character fall for?

How many minor characters does your character fall for?

And...

Does your character become the boyfriend/girlfriend of a canon character?
Sleep with a canon character?
Or not sleep with a canon character because he/she 'isn't that kind'?
End up married to him/her?
Or give up this romance for some greater good/noble purpose?
Does the canon love interest break up with a previous love in order for any of this to happen?
Does your character fall for the characters that that you fall for?

Does your character make canon characters realize their romantic feelings for each other?

Did a 'something special' not exist at all until your character came along?
Does this romance contradict a character's previously-established sexual orientation?

Assuming your character has non-canon friends and/or peers somewhere, does he/she hang out with the canon characters more than his/her own friends or peers?

Does your character end up living with or especially close to any of the canon characters?

Is your character a 20th/21st century Earth citizen transported to another time/world?

If the above does not apply, is your character from another time, world, or reality?

Another published universe?

Is your character's history remarkably similar to the history of a canon character?

Is your character involved in a canon character’s past somehow?

In a way that was contradicts the original story?

Is the story told all or mostly from your character’s point of view?

When your character makes his/her first appearance, do most, if not all, the canon characters notice him/her right away?

Does this scene occur in a crowded place?

Do the adventures of your character mirror or closely resemble the adventures of any of the canon characters? - Ignore if this is because it happens to pretty much everyone in the canon.

Does your character save the canon characters from a situation or come up with a solution that they probably could have done by themselves in the original? (Admittedly, lead characters tend to be phenomenally lucky, but still...)

Does he/she solve the personal problems of any canon character?

Does your character tell off, beat up, humiliate, outdo, or kill a character to whom you would personally like to do the same?

At any point, does your character take over the job/position of a canon character?

Because it's a position that you think is interesting or fun?
Because you think that the character who already does this job isn't good enough?
Does your character take over this job permanently?

Does your character get kidnapped by the bad guys?

Do the canon characters immediately come to the rescue?
Does he/she rescue him/herself?
Was your character kidnapped for any special reason?
If an RP character played in a freestyle RP, have you tried this plot device with your character more than once during the story?

Does your character single-handedly accomplish what no-one has been able to do so far?

If you create your own ‘arc,’ storyline, or plot event...

Does your character know everything about what's going on?
...While the canon characters know almost nothing at all?
Does it take place in another world, which your character is familiar with?
Is your character vital to the resolution of the arc/plot?
Does this plot/arc replace a canon storyline?

Do you plan on writing more stories about your character?

Do you plan on writing stories about your character's children?

Do you or have other players told you that you constantly try to bring the story's spotlight onto your character, or have your character do most of the heroic/cool stuff?

If your character is in a tight spot, do you give him/her a new gadget or ability so he/she can escape?

Do you ever poke fun at your character's faults/weaknesses and/or use them as plot devices?

Has your character ever been honestly selfish, petty, lazy, shallow, or pointlessly cruel?

Is your character really and honestly overweight, and stays overweight throughout the entire story? (A little bit of chubbiness does not count.)

Is your character honestly ugly, and stays ugly throughout the entire story?

Is your character out of shape, and stays out of shape for the entire story? (Not 'oh, man, I just don't think I can survive this triathlon,' but honestly, hinderingly wimpy?)

Is your character physically disabled, and has nothing to make up for it? (To quote Dr. Merlin, anyone who says "She's so pretty that it's like a disability because everyone hates her or wants to have sex with her" will be summarily keelhauled.)

Is he/she truly mentally disabled, IE, retarded, and has no powers because or despite of this?

Is your character human, 40+, and looks his/her age?

Older than 60?

Does your character have a truly debilitating phobia that does not mysteriously disappear at a crucial moment?

Has your character ever run away from anything simply because he/she was a coward?

If your character had a bad past with his/her parents, does he/she reconcile with them at any point?

Has your character ever been in a situation that he/she had no way of overcoming on his/her own?

Did he/she give up without trying?
Did he/she give up after failing?
If he/she eventually found a way of overcoming the problem, was it extremely difficult and/or took a really long time?

Does your character ever admit to being wrong, even if he/she doesn't really mean it?

Has your character ever ignored wrong-doings against him/herself and/or others because he/she simply didn't want to get into trouble?

If your character is a non-human, does he/she react in very non-human ways or in ways more appropriate to his/her species?

If your character is vampire, is he/she...

a. A mindless killer?
Maybe not mindless, but has no significant moral or emotional issues with killing/murder?
Unable to have sex?
Unattractive?
Unable to overcome his/her dependence on blood?

Do you view your characters more like tools than friends/children?

Final Score: 42

36+ Fanfiction authors, you might just want to start over. Role-players and original fiction authors, at this point your characters are likely to provoke eye-rolling and exclamations of "yeah, right!" from your readers. (Well, at least from me.) Immediate workover is probably in order.

FAQ

Okay, so it’s not an FAQ as much as it is a hypothetical FAQ. However, I felt the need to make sure there was something available to answer general questions. Not that I think anyone will pay it enough attention, once this blog is unveiled. Ah well, I seem to like exercises in futility.

Why do you hate Ryuu?

We do not hate Ryuu. Hate is too strong of an emotion to waste on him, even counting his homophobia. I certainly do not like him, but even more than that, I do not like the idea that his work is as praised as it is while any actual criticism that comes his way that isn’t heavily coated in sugar is censored.

You're just jealous!

*Hysterical laughter*

(Also, that's not a question.)

Why don't you mind your own business?

That works both ways. Why don't you mind yours? It's not as though we're broadcasting our blog all over the forums he frequents or his deviantArt page. We didn't make you come here.

Why don't you get a life?

The man you're defending is 24 and lives vicariously through his sue-ish OCs for Legend of Zelda, and that's somehow fine but we should get a life? If we need to "get a life", so does he.

And before anyone asks: it actually doesn't take a lot of time out of my day to do this, so it's not like I'm wasting away my life obsessing over this. Surprise! Blogs aren't hard to maintain! HTML and built-in text editors aren't hard. Writing doesn't take that long to do.

Where's your amazing OC, then, if you're so great?

Not on this site. This is a failblog.

In all seriousness, it's a logical fallacy to think we must prove our genius abilities to do x if we're going to criticize x. I don't need to get a book published to know that Silk and Steel, the second book in the Bronwyn Trilogy is horrible writing.

Why are you doing this?

Honestly, it's partly boredom, partly revenge for his homophobia, and largely for infesting a fandom I love with his terrible OCs.

His praised lack of originality is offensive to the sort of people I support, who work hard making OCs from scratch and try to make them logical, original, creative, and interesting. It encourages laziness and cheap knockoffs of already loved characters and hurts originality to support his work blindly.

How are his OCs unoriginal?

He specifically takes preexisting characters from canon and uses them - or at least their appearances - to make his own characters. Sometimes, characters have equipment that are like a canon character's equipment but better.

(Example: young Ryukenden finding a Goron tunic that's just magically young!Ryu sized, but stronger than Link's.)

When people mistake his characters for their canon counterparts (and it's a when, not an if), he lists minute superficial differences. Like they wear different colors, or they're right-handed instead of left-handed.

He also admits to taking whole cloth ideas and designs from other artists or franchises that he happens to like at the moment (something he calls "inspiration" but the rest of us know it as "ripping things off"). Whatever variation from the original source that he does show in his characters, you can bet that it came from someone else.

Why don't you just criticize him on his own page, instead of being rude and making this blog?

There is reason to believe that any criticism that isn't thoroughly glazed in praise will be argued with, hidden, or brushed off with some-or-another excuse.

In addition, such comments would get lost in a sea of mindless praise. Here, the criticism and decided lack of sugar can accumulate into something that may not get noticed, but certainly won't get lost amongst the endless ego-stroking.

What if Ryuu decided to shape up and make not-bad characters?

Then good for him. That would show improvement in his abilities that I think he sorely needs. We would also eventually run out of material and this blog would fade away like so much mist in the morning sun.

Except less poetic.

Who are you people?

~~Cyber Moth~~, Dr. Whatshisface, Rinku, Calamareye, Ebony Dark'ness etc etc, ~~and the She Elf~~.

Who is the Cyber Moth?

A businessfag.

Who is that Mysterious Dr. Whatsisface?

Some douchebag.

Who's Rinku?

Some dork.

Who is Calamareye?

A tasty snack.

Who is Ebony?

Wicked hardcore goff Stanist.

Who are you?

"U" are a letter.

Character Sheet: Aia

Aia, from May 4, 2006

Name: Aia
Nick-Name: (none)
Gender: Female
Age: Unknown
Height: 3'3"
Weight: 49 lbs.

I realize age is unknown, and the race is not entirely human, so that makes it hard to nitpick, here.

If I wanted to argue this, I could easily point out that the general consensus for Kid Link's age is around ten years old, and the Kokiri children seem to be around his height (and Kid Link's height, going by height averages, would be something around 50-60 inches (4'2"-5')

Of course, I admit that averages as well as judging by in-game sprites are not the most reliable tactics. They are, however, guidelines that could be discovered through actual research.

Average Height for Girls 2-20
Average Height for Boys 2-20

If we assume that this particular Kokiri girl is around five, however, her height and weight would still be within the averages for human children.

So, by the information he's given, she'd probably look like a short, somewhat pudgy kindergartner.

Physical Description (body): Aia is a tiny girl. Her frame is light and her body is slim. She has medium length legs, but little longer arms. Her hair is blonde, but also short. She has two small pony-tails on the lower back of her head. Her blue eyes are bright and show that she's full of energy. She may not be very strong, but she can crawl into small places with ease.

WAIT, problem. "Her frame is light and her body is slim"? That seemingly contradicts her height and weight identified above.

This is why I personally agonize over putting down a weight for my characters. There are plenty of ways weight can distribute depending on a person's frame and what the weight is made out of.

And it is more descriptive to put down the build, really. Not everyone immediately recognizes what someone's build must be like from height and weight. And even if they can, they could still be wrong just because of all the variables not taken into consideration.

But I digress.

The description is brief, which is nice, and while it leaves questions about some things, it gives enough information to draw some reasonable conclusions and can allow for specifying details in moderation throughout the role play if it comes up.

I'm not sure if it needs the detail of the length of her arms and legs, though, but I'll let it slide because I've nitpicked enough so far.

Physical Description (apparel): Aia doesn't wear anything elaborate, just a long sleeve-less shirt that covers her down to her knees. She also wears small dark green boots that match the forest floor.

Again, simple and to the point - which is a refreshing break from Ryuu's typical character sheets. (I'm actually writing up this critique as a break from one of his longer, more painfully descriptive sheets.)

It isn't identical-sounding to other Kokiri outfits, though still sounds like something a Kokiri girl could wear. For those of you wondering about green leather boots... most of the Kokiri in the official art wear green boots.

However, I'm still going to suggest researching dying leather processes - perhaps on a historical level, too, since the Legend of Zelda universe typically has a medieval feel to it. At least, Ocarina of Time does.

Just because it's in the official art doesn't mean that we can just stop thinking about it.

Looks most Like: OoT Style Aryll

And here is another good reason why the above field is a bad idea: it ruined what was a good and original (compared to his other sheets I've seen, so far) mental image of a character.

I'm not sure why I don't just end the character sheet critique here and give him a one just for this.

No, seriously, don't do it. Be creative.

Personality: Very chipper and happy. She's not prone to anger or even sadness. She believes things will all be okay, no matter how bad they get. After all, it could be worse, right?

Here, meaning can be debated. While I assume that "not prone to anger or even sadness" means that she does not have cause to dwell on those feelings or that she doesn't let them get her down (which may be because of my philosophic opinion that all people should and do experience the full range of possible emotions), it is possible for someone to interpret this as her naturally not feeling those to the same degree as others.

I would suggest wording it differently, like "She doesn't believe in letting anger or sadness get the better of her," which tells more about her personality and gives her a stronger sense of will.

Power(s): None is sure if this is a power, but her smile just seems to pierce through any glum moment.
Upside to Power(s): Makes people happier.

I don't think it's a power, either, unless caused by some sort of empathic or supernatural force. I'm also iffy on whether or not it should be added, because unless it actually IS caused by an empathic or supernatural force, it seems to influence other player characters reactions to this character. And player characters have the final say on whether or not they're glum.

Downside to Power(s): If she's not smiling, it won't work.

Thank you, Captain Obvious.

Strengths: small and agile - can get into small spaces without having any problems.
Weaknesses: Just a little girl. Doesn't have weapons or any means to protect herself.

History: Though it is hard to discern the true origin of the Kokiri, there are rumors of how their existence came to be. Whatever the circumstances were, the Kokiri exist and so does Aia.

The opening to that entry is... bizarrely lame and lazy. You couldn't even make up some fairy-tale about being born from blooming flowers off the Deku Tree on special years, or something? There's so much that can be done with the Kokiri, much like any other race in the Legend of Zelda universe.

I mean, one of the Kokiri children, in game, says the Deku Tree is their father. From an Ocarina of Time textdump:

Oh, you have a fairy now?! That's great, Link! What? You've been called by the Great Deku Tree? What an honor! He may give you a special gift! Tee hee! That's because the Great Deku Tree is our father, the forest guardian, and he gave life to all of us Kokiri!

It isn't even necessary to spell out the whole Kokiri history, really, but adding that opening in feels like Ryuu is going out of his way to say "I can't be bothered to care how this race exists."

Aia, as a Kokiri, always envied Saria because she had a fairy.

Newsflash: All Kokiri children have fairies. It makes no sense for a chipper, happy person to be envious of one of the more friendly Kokiri.

Aia loved fairies since as long as she can remember. One day, at last, a fairy came to her. His name was Leo.

Gee, thanks for not explaining why she didn't have one, at the time, since it's implied the Deku Tree gives the Kokiri children their fairies. Is it just me, or does this history feel very abrupt? I know I typically complain about how painfully long his other character sheets are, but there's a difference between being short and being abrupt.

Leo acted like an older brother to Aia, since she was the smallest of the Kokiri and she appears to be the youngest, she even now has things to learn. Leo constantly watches her back, just in case someone tries any practical jokes on her. Aia loved Leo very very much. Even to this day, their arguments are few and their joy is great.

It's at least good to know that she is smaller and 'younger' than average. It means he isn't a total dunce. However, I do have a few questions - how old is she, at least compared to other Kokiri? How does age work with the Kokiri? These are questions one should take into consideration when making a character.

While it isn't canon, the Ocarina of Time manga referenced the thought that a fairy partner is a part of the Kokiri (probably not literally, but, you know). That's at least trying to flesh out something about the race.

When Ganondorf attacked on that day of Destiny, Saria left for the Forest Temple. This upset Aia much because, though she may have envied her before, she thought of Saria like an older sister. She stayed hidden in her own little hideaway, which happened to be in the shop. She never knew what truly happened, but she's just glad all is well, now. She was still saddened when she thought that Saria would never come back.

Ganondorf was soon defeated, and Saria returned. Aia was so thrilled and the two became even better friends than before.

Well, a shop isn't exactly a hideaway, because shops tend to get more traffic than most places, even if they're in some forest village populated by eternal tree-children.

Also - I didn't get the impression that Aia and Saria were friends, until Saria came back and they "became even better friends than before." The only impression I got was that Aia was envious and probably idolized Saria. This history is thrown together even more haphazardly than my critique.

Two years passed, and Saria has taught Aia to memorize the way through the Lost Woods, upon Aia's request. Leo doesn't like it when Aia goes through the Lost Woods, so he memorized the paths as well - just in case Aia forgets.

To this day, Aia and Leo remain together and remain at the Kokiri Forest, completely unaware of what may come into that forest...

I never got the impression that the Kokiri know how to navigate the Lost Woods. We see Mido in there, guarding a path halfway between the Sacred Medow and the village, after all, and another Kokiri girl is at least secure enough in the woods to enter them.

I also have to ask why, exactly, Aia wanted to be able to go through the Lost Woods. Was it just out of a sense of follow-the-leader and idol worship?

Extra: Her fairy, Leo, is more of the serious type. Because the Great Deku Tree isn't around anymore, he wants Aia to be shown that life isn't always sunshine and butterflies, yet without being harsh about it.

RPG Style: Zelda RPG

Okay, the Great Deku Tree isn't around, but his replacement in the still-growing tree-sprout is there. The sprout symbolizes new hope and good springing up from the oppressive darkness, really. That isn't to say Leo being a realist couldn't be interesting, I just disagree on dragging the Great Deku Tree into it.

Overall, I... give this a flat 5/10. I feel like it should be lower, because of the "looks like" field, though. It had/has potential, but the history feels like it's thrown together carelessly and doesn't really explain a lot about her past and focuses too much on the part of her past that centers around Ocarina of Time.

Pro Tip: There's more to the Zelda universe than Ocarina of Time.

Also, her personality feels a little flat and seems like it isn't established at all in her history.

Of course, it isn't so bad that it merits a Mary Sue test, so I won't be doing one.

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4.1.09

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